I have been on 100+ dates. Yes I’m one of the originally internet daters. It all started in 1995 when my aunt found AOL. My first dating site “Only You” I think. It doesn’t exist anymore. Then I moved to AOL love. There were many others. I haven’t always been looking for a soul mate. I actual don’t know what I was looking for. I had no direction in my dating past. The internet had a line to an unlimited population of men. That unlimited population always made me think there is something better. This is not a good concept to have while dating.

I do have a strong northern personality. Now that I live in the south it doesn’t translate well. In the late 90’s I had more hits than misses. Now I have more misses than anything. I feel some of this has to do with age. I was very carefree in my youth. Now age has brought me the knowledge of what I need in a man.

Knowing what I want has given me freedom from wasting my time with men I see clear cut red flags. When I saw a red flag I would end the communication. They would always want to continue as friends. If I was friends with every man online I met I wouldn’t have time to work. I usually shrugged it off and move on. My serial dating has been retired. I still internet date, but I am more selective with who I choose to spend my time with. I have also opened myself up to dating outside my race. My friends have given me mixed results with this choice to open up my dating world to other races. A few friends acted like I was defying my race. Others felt whatever way I found love they were all for it.

I know who I am. A black woman who was born and living in the United States. I have dealt with racism first hand. It doesn’t make me less of who I am to date outside of my race.

The truth of the matter is I love black men. If the one for me shows up I would have no problem jumping in with both feet. Black woman are the least likely to date outside of their race. They are also the ones not getting married. There are a lot of factors that go into that. I am not trying to figure out society. My choice is to be with the man who love me the way I need to be loved no matter what color he is.


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