The Other Shoe Dropped

Actually the shoe got thrown out the window. I was so excited about this date. I was clearly caught up in the fantasy this dude was trying to create for me. I already knew going in he was not a looker from his picture. I got over that with his personality and all he had to offer. I bought a new outfit and I was looking good. I looked in my mirror for about an hour trying to make sure I was perfect.

Then I talked to him and he moved the date back a half an hour. I should have known that was not a good sign. I get to the restaurant and he gave me a strange hug. It felt like a hug another guy would give a buddy. I was like ok not sure what that meant. We were seated in minutes and it went downhill from there. This man would not look at me in my face. He looked over my head to the left to the right never in my eyes. I am like what the hell; even if he isn’t interested in me can we have a damn conversation. Shit we were talking for over a week nonstop. No luck with that. Then the restaurant was loud it was Easter and he was mumbling when he spoke. I had no idea what he was saying. Ok I couldn’t wait to get this over with. Then he tells me he actually does not live in the Atlanta area. He actually lives two hours away. Now why would this fool wait until now to tell me this? I asked him specifically what area he lived in and it was twenty min from me. Not two damn hours. He tried to insinuate I misheard him. Clearly he didn’t know this is not my first time to the rodeo. He straight up lied. I tried to ask him what was up with the lying. With the head moving every direction but in my face and the mumbling I thought fuck it. I am never going to see this man again. So disappointed I went home depressed and frustrated. What the hell. I have met cool folks on the net. My new guy friend we will call him T. We hang out go to dinner and have a good time. I am not his type of woman which I declared for him and that is fine. We talk and have a good time never the less. Also I know a bunch of decent guys that are acquaintances that are online. I seem to meet the crazy ones that are interested in me. Or have some severe social skills issues that they might need medication for. My dog must have senses my mood because I woke up with him curled next to me. I am glad someone cares. Even thought he is more concerned if I give him a bone every day. I am going to keep hope alive because you never know. Someone gave me the advice to do what you love and you will meet people that way. Well I am a homebody so unless a man is going to jump through my DVD player or my computer because my hobby is to write then I don’t see that working. I am going out next Friday with a friend and see what life brings me.

I will tell you if some money came into my world as I said in the prior blog I would move home have two kids. A man in my world would be very low on my list.


Versatile Blogger Award

I have been nominated and given the honor of the Versatile Blogger Award. It is nice to know someone listen to my rants about my life. Thank you to authenticchoices and navigatingtherapids

These are the rules:
1.  Winners grab the image above and put it in your blog.
2.  Link back to the person who gave you it.

3.  Tell 10 things about yourself
4.  Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
5.  Contact the bloggers you have awarded to let them know they have won.

Ten things about me

1)    I have been six foot tall since I was 13. I hated being tall and was jealous of all the short cute girls. I always felt men put me in the Amazon category. Oh she doesn’t need help with her bags. Look at her she got it. The little cute girls they would bend over backwards to help. I have no idea if this is a fiction of my imagination but it always seemed true to me at the time.

2)    I do not and have not played basketball. I have even had old ladies in the grocery store ask me that. Not all tall people are coordinated enough to play sports.

3)    I have gotten rid of decent men over the years. Always thinking there was something better around the corner. I had a saying I swore by. Men are like busses there will be another one in 15 min. Clearly something I regret now in my single status.

4)    I have online dated on and off since 1995. In those days I was meeting great guys all the time. Now that you can buy a computer in Wal-Mart for 300 bucks. Now a cell phone can give you totally internet access. Now I am meeting a lot more frogs then princes. I still keep hope alive. I know the man for me isn’t going to show up out of nowhere.

5)    I have a major crush on Hill Harper. He is a B actor that I discovered many years ago. He is now on CSI New York.  A friend of mine met him and told me he is 5’6. I smiled because I still don’t care my crush is strong.

6)    I love 80’s music beyond all others. I miss the 80’s

7)    I am still in love with Prince. When the movie Purple Rain comes on T.V. I fantasize about being Apollonian. Yes, I know Prince is about 5’3

8)    If I had the money I would have two kids by myself and tie my tubes then look for a husband. I know it sounds crazy but money is the only thing standing in my way at this point.

9)    I wish I could start over again at 22 when the world was my oyster.

10)  I lost over 100 pounds in my twenties. No one believes me, saying they cannot imagine I was ever that big. People in my home town sure do remember!!!

I nominate







I don’t have 15 blogs that I follow. So here are the ones I choose to nominate.

Trying to stay positive

I met a new guy online. We have been talking for about a week and half. I have to say from all our conversations, I really like him. I have been down this road before. I know better to have any expectations, because it can always fall apart later. We vibe on many levels, which is refreshing. He has one child that is grown. He wouldn’t mind having more children. I was truly getting sick of meeting men that did not want children. Granted that is there right but damn it seemed that was the only type I met. He is financially secure. In this economy is amazing. I would be lying if I didn’t say the economy hasn’t affected me in many ways. He is retired military which he informed me comes with a lot of benefits. He isn’t scared of marriage. This is music to my ears. Not that I am trying to run to the altar, but a man that is not scared of commitment is a big plus. He does have a corny personality but so far he has me laughing.  All these things are pluses but I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know I need to be positive. It is just hard due to my recent encounters with the opposite sex. Our first date is tomorrow. He picked a very nice restaurant.

I felt this would require a shopping trip. If he could possibly be the guy for me then I need to look my best. I have no idea what I am going to do with my hair. I found this very cute sundress. I had sandals that worked perfectly. We will see what happens. I am trying to stay open minded and positive.

End to two year drought

It has actual been longer than two years. I stopped counting after two years. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting crucial. I was about to explode. I needed sex. I wanted the touch of someone else with than animal need to have me. My proposed abstinence was wearing thin. Finding sex has never been an issue. I have been propositioned more than I care to mention over these years. I wanted more than the physical. I wanted a relationship and felt casual sex was counterproductive.

I had to breakdown and except that I have needs. No, men are not the only one with needs. I will admit I was very promiscuous in my youth. At first it was looking for love in all the wrong places. Then I was immune to looking for love. I consider it just having fun. After a while casual sex got old. It was empty and lonely and was not giving me anything.

I had one casual partner that was pretty decent. It was actually an ex. We were no good in a relationship. We are great as friends with sexual benefit. It was perfect we would hang out. If I needed him he was there and of course I was there for him. That ended when he moved out of the state.

How did my drought end? I was chatting with a guy on yahoo IM. We had a booty call relationship about five or six years ago. We always stayed in contact via IM. So we had an IM relationship. We had random conversations online. I always had the option to rekindle our past. I have no idea if we have relationship potential. Sometimes a bridge cannot be built from casual sex to a relationship. Not to say it isn’t possible I have many friends who have done and I also have.

In this instance the bridge hadn’t even been considered. So another conversation on IM lead to my over whelming need to be touched. That led in to my mental debate to why not?  All my reasons for not doing it vanished. Still on the fence I talked to an old friend. I was shocked by her response. She said “what the hell am I thinking go for it. I have no obligation to anyone why the hell not. She was writing me a prescription to get some ass. After that conversation I was off and running.

I called him and told him to text me his address. I was on a mad dash when I finally got home in the frustrating Atlanta traffic. Showered, groomed and got ready for the big event. I even brought out the good smelling lotion. The big event was good. There was some pain on my part for obvious reason. I got what I needed which I make no apologies. I still don’t see a relationship with this person but who knows. It is what it is.  Now I’m sitting here still in the same boat. Single!!! I need to really make an effort to change that!!!