End to two year drought

It has actual been longer than two years. I stopped counting after two years. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting crucial. I was about to explode. I needed sex. I wanted the touch of someone else with than animal need to have me. My proposed abstinence was wearing thin. Finding sex has never been an issue. I have been propositioned more than I care to mention over these years. I wanted more than the physical. I wanted a relationship and felt casual sex was counterproductive.

I had to breakdown and except that I have needs. No, men are not the only one with needs. I will admit I was very promiscuous in my youth. At first it was looking for love in all the wrong places. Then I was immune to looking for love. I consider it just having fun. After a while casual sex got old. It was empty and lonely and was not giving me anything.

I had one casual partner that was pretty decent. It was actually an ex. We were no good in a relationship. We are great as friends with sexual benefit. It was perfect we would hang out. If I needed him he was there and of course I was there for him. That ended when he moved out of the state.

How did my drought end? I was chatting with a guy on yahoo IM. We had a booty call relationship about five or six years ago. We always stayed in contact via IM. So we had an IM relationship. We had random conversations online. I always had the option to rekindle our past. I have no idea if we have relationship potential. Sometimes a bridge cannot be built from casual sex to a relationship. Not to say it isn’t possible I have many friends who have done and I also have.

In this instance the bridge hadn’t even been considered. So another conversation on IM lead to my over whelming need to be touched. That led in to my mental debate to why not?  All my reasons for not doing it vanished. Still on the fence I talked to an old friend. I was shocked by her response. She said “what the hell am I thinking go for it. I have no obligation to anyone why the hell not. She was writing me a prescription to get some ass. After that conversation I was off and running.

I called him and told him to text me his address. I was on a mad dash when I finally got home in the frustrating Atlanta traffic. Showered, groomed and got ready for the big event. I even brought out the good smelling lotion. The big event was good. There was some pain on my part for obvious reason. I got what I needed which I make no apologies. I still don’t see a relationship with this person but who knows. It is what it is.  Now I’m sitting here still in the same boat. Single!!! I need to really make an effort to change that!!!

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3 thoughts on “End to two year drought

  1. My friend and I were having this conversation a few days ago. She’s onto 5 years and I’m on year three of no sex. When I read about your life we have a lot in common in the way we approached relationships with men. Unfortunately I’ve had relationships with men who I had no business being with. In one of those instances we’ve remained friends. I had the opportunity to break the drought last night but I’ve been fighting to change my pattern so I decided to keep my pants on. Yet every now and then, I want my bed warm with someone else besides me. If I wasn’t busy with the little one, I’d be looking. Glad you got your groove on, and a little jealous 🙂

    • Yeah I don’t regret it. I did put an end to it. I know right short lived. But I rater be alone and be open to a relationship than just a man who’s only interest is sex.

  2. Hi, I just found your blog and am starting to catch up on older posts. I can relate to what you say about living in the moment and time flying by, then waking up one day and realizing some of your options are narrowing. I have tried several times to become an SMC and for various reasons am on a break right now. Anyway, congrats on breaking your drought! 🙂 I nominated you for a “Versatile Blogger Award,” so come check it out on my blog if you would like!

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