When I moved to Georgia I was running from Boston. I wanted a new life and to get as far away from my family as possible. I actually moved in with a cousin that moved to Georgia a few years before. We had a falling out. Family drama followed me to Georgia. Now looking back where there is family there is possible drama no matter what state you are in. I no longer talk to that cousin. It has been eight years and counting and I have to say I do not miss that relationship. It took me a long time to realize family does not get a pass. I had family members in my life that I wouldn’t even be friends with if I met them in the street. It seemed that they would do me wrong and use the word family as there get out of jail free card. That card was revoked.
Even thought I no longer had a relationship with that cousin. I had a few other cousins in Georgia that I was close to. One lived with me for several years. They have both have left Georgia and I started to feel lonely. That is how my dog came into my life.
My cousin has come to visit this weekend. I last saw him at a funeral last year. When he came in the door I realized how much I miss him. I am an only child. He is the closest thing to a brother I will ever have. He has always been in my corner as an older brother. This is funny because I am older by three months. I do not have a big family and we are not close in any real way. We do not have family reunions. We don’t converse on a regular basis. You only see our family at funeral. Usually it is funerals and weddings. My family does not have that many wedding sad to say but true.
Even thought my part of family I am close to is very small I miss them. Seeing him today just brought those feelings home. I really thought by now I would have my own family. I thought I would have a husband and children to fill my world. Life is not a predictable thing. Ten years ago when I left the city I was born and raised, I never thought I would miss the things I left.
My ex is back and I have to say I will be beyond a happy camper if it works out. I still have my plan B. I am going to a seminar at a woman’s clinic that has a small reproductive center. They are a fraction of the price of the big reproductive centers here. I need to keep my options open. I am hopeful about this possible relationship. I just no in life there are no guarantees.