When will my stars align!!!

Ok so this was a missed month and I guess I have to suck it up. He is in another part of the state somewhere. I am beyond disappointed. I know I have to put my big girl draws on and work it out. He has to work and keep his job. I do understand that believe me I do. As I go to my job everyday and need my paycheck to keep a roof over my head.

I believe he didn’t want to disappoint me. I just didn’t get the reaction I wanted. Actually I didn’t know what reaction I expected. “We have next month” so casually was not what I wanted. Am I pushing this on him? A question I have asked him and he said “no he wants children”. I guess he just not going to share my semi depression because he missed the big O this month.

I know there is nothing he can do. I get that. I just don’t know what to do with my feelings around the situation. Second month of finding the O and no boyfriend. My friend said I should work on the relationship. I get that!!! I do. My focus is both actually. 

I feel like I am in a long distance situation. In his defence he told me how his job would affect a relationship. I signed up eyes open. I don’t know what to do? I know I am overacting but I am ready for things to work out in my favor.

I am also concerned if this relationship isn’t working, and I am pushing this baby thing so much that I am not seeing it.

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