Donor Unknown: Adventures in the Sperm Trade

Half Siblings

Image via Wikipedia

Anyone who reads my blog knows I have obsessive issues. I am obsessed with all things SMBC (single mother by choice). Well I tend to read the comments people leave on blogs I follow. I found a new blog yesterday. Which I found from someone else’s blog roll. Well in one of  her comments someone mentioned a documentary called Donor Unknown. It was a documentary about anonymous donor 150 from California cryo bank. I had to watch this documentary.

I started an online search. All the places I found it, the video was no longer available. I did find a UK website that had the movie. My country was not allowed to watch it. Wow never had that happen before. I did watch a few clips of the movie on YouTube. Now I really wanted to watch it. I finally found it on Amazon.com streaming. To rent and stream to my computer was 2.99. I thought it was worth it and put my credit card down.

This movie blew my mind with the information. The reason this all transpired was through the sibling registry. The half siblings of donor 150 were getting together. It was nice to see the bond they created with each other. They keep in touch and a few of them call each other brother and sisters. It was unbelievable how much they looked like each other. I believe through the course of the film they found about 13 siblings. If anymore join the sibling registry I guess they will be a part of this clan.

It seemed like these children were all made up of lesbian relationships. I didn’t see any single mothers mentioned. Well when these siblings met each other some kind of way an article in the New York Times was done. Well donor 150 saw the article and came forward. He met his offspring and it was very nice of him.

Now this part horrified me. The man seemed very off. He was living in his RV in California. You couldn’t really pin point what he did for money. He had a screw driver in his gear shift of his RV to move the gears. Some of the kids seemed a little put off that he was their donor.

He showed pictures of him back in the day when he was donating. Can I tell you this man was gorgeous? He had a body to die for and was a former chip and dale dancer. He also in lighted me on this cryo bank stuff. He said he would donate two to three times a week. The money he made paid his rent for eight years. I thought to myself, damn is he serious.

Now he is a recluse with two dogs and helps pigeons and lives in a RV. He seemed like a very nice guy. He was just crazy or disconnected from reality. He had all these conspiracy theories about the world. Granted some of them could be true. I don’t think our government tells us everything. He was obsessed with them that made him seem crazy.

One of his offspring went to visit her paternal grandfather in a nursing home. Since donor 150 didn’t seem to have a relationship with any of his family I am sure his father enjoyed the visit. It looked like he did in the picture she had.

Also the woman who first started the sibling registry was featured. She showed where one donor had over fifty offspring on her website. She also said when these cryo banks tell you they limit the number of pregnancy they are not telling the truth. That would mean, they have to keep track of each pregnancy. She claims they are not really keeping track. There is nothing forcing you to report back to them a pregnancy. All in all I will give this movie an A+. I do feel some of these kids gained something from meeting donor #150. Others seems like they could have done well without the experience.

Lottery Update

I had an awful day yesterday at work. I couldn’t get anything right. I brought something to my boss three times wrong. She didn’t torture me. Every time I went into that office I wanted to crumble.

So lottery tickets needed to be scratched. In my world they are for bad days. Sunday I had scratched two and realized I won but didn’t know how much. I was enjoying the fantasy until yesterday. I needed to know if my frown was going to turn upside down. Well thirty bucks was nice but not enough to change my disposition.

I then scratched another one that I had on my dresser. I won again. I thought I would let that one simmer so I can fantasy at work for a few more days. At least to get my through the weekend.

I told a few friends I found my sperm donor if I had the cash to purchase his DNA. I am obsessed with the donor websites. I love some of my friends. They wanted to know his stats like I was dating him. It was so cute!!! I keep struggling with anonymous and open ID. To me there are pros and cons to each. I am just not sure where I stand on the issue. Other than the fact open donor cost more. A friend of mine went anonymous and she was firm in her reasonings. I guess I don’t have to decide now unless that lottery ticket tells me something good.

I know I need to start saving. It is hard because I never feel like I have anything extra. It is budget time. I hate working on a budget. My life is so drab as it is and a budget makes it worse. I could get out of debt and charge my baby making. The getting out of debt isn’t about to happen overnight either. I wish I had this thought about five years ago. I as actually out of debt than. I swear hindsight is 20/20.

I did have a highlight to the weekend. I bought a Wii off a friend for 50 bucks. I set it up and haven’t really played yet. I have streamed movies to my TV which is cool.

I was watching some news show and the Octomom was on there. I swear she makes all SMBC look bad. She is a hot mess and crazy to boot. I always thought her elevator didn’t go all the way to the top. She was washing one of her kids in the sink because her bathroom was messed up. I guess you do what you have to do. I feel sorry for those children. I do not feel bad for her lunatic self. I heard they took away the licence of the man who put all those eggs in her. I don’t know if I agree with that. He gave her a service that she requested. Ocotomom agreed with taking his licences away. All of it is crazy to me. He shouldn’t have done it but we all know money played a big part in this. She wanted it he got paid end of story.

 

Interesting Days off!

These four days off were very interesting. My neighbor townhouse was broken into. They kicked in the front door which scared the shit out of me. They also were so bold to do it at 6:30pm. It happened earlier in the week. Then I got a call on Friday night about a friend’s house being broken into. The alarm company called her and she called me. I have her key and alarm code. I waited a few minutes and went over there. The cop was actually driving away from her house. I stopped him and waited outside while he went through her house to make sure it was safe. She was out-of-town visiting her grandmother. She lives five minutes from my house. With the economy and Atlanta screwing us over our neighborhood has just gone to shit.

I live in a suburb of Atlanta Georgia. Atlanta decided to tear down all their low income housing and give the people they were displacing housing vouchers. Our county was one of the victims of these people. Also the county near the airport. So they just put the crap on us and we have to deal with these displaced people moving next door. Also the economy doesn’t help the situation. No jobs, no money, more crime.

The cop agreed with me about Atlanta (Futon County) screwing us over. Then he proceeded to tell me there is a rapist on the loose. Following women home from the grocery store. That really put fear in me. The cop left and I waited for my friend’s cousin to secure her back door that was kicked in. I started to think I have no one to help me in the middle of the night in a crisis.

The whole experience has just made me afraid. I didn’t sleep well that night at all. I went to Home Depot and order a security door for the front of my house. It should be here in ten days. I also decided I am getting a gun. I am going to find a gun safety class. I told a few people and they all want to join  me in this class. In the U.S. we have the right to bear arms. If someone comes through my door they are going to have something waiting for them. I don’t have children so I don’t feel that bad about having a gun in the house. I was talking to my friend who lives in my subdivision about our crappy neighborhood. The truth of the matter is break ins are happening all over the place. There is really no place to go to avoid the possibility.

On a brighter note, I went out this weekend. I enjoyed sometime with my meetup group at a bar. I met this guy who I thought was really cute. He had two kids and is a single father. All of that made him more attractive. I pushed the issue to exchange numbers. We did talk that same night. I not getting the vibe he is into me other than friends, which is fine. I am not going to force it. He seems really into his children and not pressed for a relationship. Or he is not pressed to get to know me. One or the other which I am cool with either way. I desire a man who is into me. I am not going to beg for attention. At this point I am going to go with he isn’t interested. If I happen to get invited on a date I will be pleasantly surprised.

I did meet a new guy at a bar. He was working as a bartender that night. He invited me to hang out at his job. So I met him at work and we talked while it was slow. I stayed a few hours and went home. He is just looking for sex. Which was obvious with all the sexual questions. He had no questions concerning me or my character. I had no intention of talking to this man again. He did call later that night asking to come over. I told him no thanks. He then said he is pursuing me and the ball is in my court. I wanted to say you are pursuing what is in between my legs not me. I have no time for men that have that as there only focus.

My weekend has been interesting to say the least. I guess I don’t mind when my weekend is dull. Some of these things I would have been alright to not have experienced.

What I am Thankful For!!

thankful tree

Image by jenosale via Flickr

Today is Thanksgiving and I stayed home and slept all day. It wasn’t a bad day or eventful at all. Me and Mr. Shitty pants were very comfortable on the couch. The only time I left the house was for a meeting in the morning. Also when Mr. Shitty pants made me walk him around the entire subdivision. My dog has me under totally control. He can’t seem to use the bathroom unless we walk a distance. He also tries to direct where we go with pulling on the leash. I feel like he five-pound ass is walking me.  My day included sleeping, watching T.V. and fantasizing about my future children. Since I am not sharing a meal with a group of people, and what I am thankful for. I thought my blog would be just as good.

1) My health I am a healthy even though I smoked for a number of years.

2) My family I was not close to my family at all growing up. Now I have a relationship with several of my family members that I am great full for. A cousin that always felt like my sister. My brother who is really my cousin and I we have gotten allot closer. I have a better relationship with both of my parents. My aunt who is my mother’s twin sister and I have become very close over the years. All the reason I think about moving home.

3) My job I appreciate having this job. I might complain on occasion, OK a whole lot. I do thank god I can pay my bills and keep a roof over my head.

4)My Friends– I have really great people in my life. Even thought I am an introvert they are still there for me.

I am blessed and Thankful for everything!!! I know I complain and seem ungrateful. I am working on appreciating my blessings everyday.

Blast from the past 2

Cropped version of Image:Lucille Ball - YankAr...

Image via Wikipedia

Parts of my history are things I want to remember and things I want to forget. All these things made me the person I am today. I was thinking about my college boyfriend. I wanted this man so bad and he didn’t know I existed. My school had twenties thousand students. We had many different dorm locations. He moved into the cluster of dorms I was living in. He was a RA(Resident Adviser). This man had my attention from the first time we met. He had a thick accent, which I thought was so sexy. I believed he was Jamaican, tall, dark and handsome. I later found out he was from Panama and Spanish was his first language.

I will admit I stalked him. I didn’t know any better I was young. I was trying to force him to be my boyfriend. He blew me off so many times. The last and finally time I went off on him. I told him I was sick of him blowing me off and I was not going to call his ass anymore. I guess he didn’t realize he had hurt my feeling. He invited me to his dorm room that night. A relationship began from that day. I was infatuated with this man. We dated about two semester. He was graduating and I was going to be a junior. I felt I had met my soul mate. We were even born on the same day. How perfect was that!!!

The summer came and I bought a calling card. Long distance wasn’t included like it is now. I knew my mother would flip if I made a lot of long distance calls on her phone. He lived in Connecticut and I in Massachusetts. We were two and half hours away from each other. The summer consisted of us arguing. I felt like Lucille ball in the show I Love Lucy. When Ricky is yelling at her in Spanish and she has no idea what he is talking about. I even took Spanish as an elective because I was dating him. Which turned into the only D on my transcript. Your would think I would have a knack for languages. My grandmother spoke fluent Portuguese. Clearly it didn’t translate in my genetics.

He claimed he was moving to Atlanta GA. So pretty much our relationship was over. He never moved. Then I move there a few years later. Two years after I graduated he tried to start the relationship over. He offered to drive to Boston to take me out. I blew him off. I was still pissed he kicked me to the curb so easily. We stayed in touch for years. Every six months we would find each other via the phone. Until he told me he was getting married. I have to say I was a little bitter.

When Facebook first became popular he added me as a friend. He has now dropped me from his friend list. Since I am not on Facebook often, I have no idea when he kicked me off as a friend. I still think of him from time to time. The first man I could see as my husband. He couldn’t see me as his wife. A little girls dreams at the time!!! My fairytale delusions!!!

Regrets

I have many regrets. I hate this saying but it is what it is. Not much I can do about the past now.

I was chatting with an old friend last night. This guy I actually met online ten years ago. We went on a our first date ten years ago. He was handsome and had the sexist eyes. They looked through you. He was shorter than me and thin. I have no idea how we got on the subject but he said he had a 29 inch waist. I remember him saying it ten years ago. That is when my interest when down the drain. I was wearing a size 16 at the time. Fear, doubt and insecurities. I thought I could never take my clothes off in front of this man.

So the friend zone is where we both went. He turned into my computer guy. He is a nerd when it comes to computers. Always available to help my virus infected laptop issues. I would always take him out to dinner after his kind service for the technology illiterate.

Over the years I grew more and more attracted to him. I dare not say anything in fear of rejection. How could I ever speak to him again if rejects me. So I kept my mouth shut until yesterday.

We were talking on IM. The only reason I brought it up was due to his non single status now. He has a girlfriend and they live together. It all started with me asking him how long  have we known each other. Then it lead down the road of why didn’t I say anything. He wanted to date me. Shocked was on my face. He is not the aggressive kind of guy. He in my opinion never gave me any hints that he was interested.

I can put that in my regret book. I wished him the best with the girlfriend. He deserves a good woman. Realizing a man wanted you that you wanted and nothing was done about it. Hard to take!!! As I told him everything happens for a reason. Life goes on.

No Thanksgiving Plans

I have written before how the holidays are not my thing. My grandmother died when I was 18. After she was put in the grave I could careless about Holidays. I thought my interest would pick up when I have kids. I never given birth so the interests in holidays has stayed the same.

Usually a friend will look at my situation as pitiful and request my present at their house. I do appreciate all the invitations I received over the years. I have sat at many non family members Thanksgiving and Christmas table.

I don’t feel like going anywhere this year. I just want to enjoy my day off. I am trying to decided if I am going to head to Wal-Mart at 10pm to get that 100 dollar Wii. I wanted a Wii for a long time. The problem is will I lose interest in it. I will be so excited because it is a new toy and than six months later it hasn’t been touched.

Did I also mention I hate crowds. I have never been shopping on black Friday. I don’t like being around a bunch of people. It isn’t a phobia, more like an annoyance. The 100 buck Wii is also the base equipment. I would have to add to it with equipment and games. More and more this sounds like it isn’t going to happen. I don’t think I want it that much.

Wow that was quick I officially talked myself out of the Wii. I do play computer games. I am addicted to the Sims 3. Yes I play the Sims. I haven’t played in over a month. Due to my cousin had the game to and a we would do challenges against each other. When her game was destroyed by a computer virus I put it down.

You have to understand the sims is a virtual reality game. Which was really created for pre teens. I found out that computer hackers all over the world have created mods to make a very PG game, R or X- rated game. It is my own personal soap opera.  Example: One of our challenges was to create a single guy and see how many kids he can produce across the town. This was not a challenge I created it. I found it on a Sims website. Where they showed a family tree with over 100 offspring.

I haven’t been motivated to sit in front of a computer and play a fictional life. I been feeling I need to pay more attending to my life. Not to say I won’t play my game again. I haven’t been in the mood recently.

Who knows maybe I will turn it on during the Thanksgiving break.

To good to be true!!

Image:Wilsonnflfootball.jpg, modified to have ...

Image via Wikipedia

Reality is stranger than fiction. The NFL guy fizzled big time. He wasn’t interested in me. More in a possible single friend I might have that was more his type. Gee did I really need that information. I swear excitement in my life comes and goes so quickly. I told him I wasn’t a pimp.

Dating sucks so bad. It is making my ex look good. Not really, but damn if this is what is out there. I am so sick of this process it is ridiculous. All this to say I do have a date on Friday. I know right, I am insane. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Well this guy asked me out several times. We haven’t met due to his last-minute requests to meet up. I told him I needed more time than that. Well he works as a bartender. I am going to meet him during his shift this Friday. We will see how that goes. I also signed up to go out with my meet up group on Saturday. I do believe getting out the house is the best thing for me these days.

Life beats on regardless of happiness or sadness. I am scratching my ticket this weekend. Some money would turn my frown upside down.

Surprised!!!

I have clubbed in the Atlanta area for years. Granted I have taken a break for a long while. Usually I meet men out and about. It never really translates into anything. Eventually I delete them from my cell phone. Well I have heard from four guys from Saturday night. This is a strange occurence.

The Navy guy I actually called to see if he was alright. He was pretty drunk and I was concerned. We chatted for a while which was cool. I had taken a few pictures with him. I added him to my Facebook. He didn’t really seem that interested in me via the phone. It sounded like we could be good friends. Or Facebook friends which is fine with me.

Two other guys asked me how I was doing via text message. Yes, people do not want to hear your voice anymore. Text message is the new way to converse. I am not a big texter. I exchanged a few text with each of them. One lives out-of-state. The other one lives near me but I wasn’t to sure about him. Time will tell!! Everything in the dark always comes to the light.

Now the real surprise is Coach. I emailed him. He emailed me. We talked on IM (instant message) this morning. Could there be something there??? It is funny how my life took on some excitement. He is on the ball of keeping in touch. We will see how this plays out. I have never been the groupie type. 

I mentioned that New England Patriot that wanted to sleep with me in the last post. Further explanation: I was at a cookout. I had no idea who he was. I have never been interested in sports. He let me know he played for the team. Which I wasnt impressed because sports never held my interests. He proceed to ask me when we could sleep together even thought he was married. I thought to myself this guy has a nerve and a big ass ego. I had to deflate it. I was not interested in him or his offer. So that was my one bout with someone with some fame. I am not going to sell my soul to the devil.

So if Coach is interested I have no problem going on a date. My life picked up all in one night. The night I was determined to stay home and be depressed. I owe thanks to ( My friend) for making me go out!!!

She has been my homegirl for years. She kicked me in the booty on Saturdaym, about wasting my time being depressed. It is great to have good friends who don’t put up with your BULL SHIT!!!!

A Great Night Out

I had a great time. It didn’t start that way. I went to the party and everyone looked around my mother’s age. I was pissed. I just left a parking garage that look like the perfect place to get raped. I didn’t want to park there. I drove around for a while and realized I had no choice, if I wanted to make it before ten pm. Tickets were half off if you got there before ten. The elevator in the parking garage was so slow I used the stairs. Seven floors down with my new not broken in boots.

This was not starting off great. My feet were going to hurt and I haven’t danced to one song. I finally made it, and walked around to see what the attendees looked like. I was not impressed. I felt I should have stayed home with Mr. Shitty paints and watched a movie. I took a seat. I paid ten dollars to park and ten dollars to get into this place I was staying awhile. My friend wasn’t showing up to after eleven so I had sometime to hang out by myself. I sat in a lounge chair and people watched to kill time. This guy walked up to me. He was very handsome and very drunk. We chatted a bit and he informed me he was in town for the football game. He was in the navy stationed in South Carolina. We exchanged numbers and I sent him to his hotel room. He was beyond drunk and needed to go to bed. I didn’t know if he would even remember me in the morning.

A hour past and the party started to fill in with a younger generation. It was funny in the beginning I felt the crowd was to old. With in an hour the crowd was younger than my generation. Late twenties early thirties. I wasn’t complaining after the shift of age range. I started having a great time. I danced, met more guys received compliments. All in all a great night. If the past has any reflection to the future I probably will not hear from any of these guys. Not a biggie I enjoyed the compliments and attention. I have no complaints if nothing comes from it.

I did meet an older man. He was handsome and in his late forties. I flirted and he flirted. I told him about this social group I am apart of. I thought he could come to one of our events if he was interested. He gave me his card. I put the card in my purse and never thought about it again until this morning. I took the card out of my purse to email him the information. The card said assistant head coach to a NFL team. I was shocked. I had never had anyone so high-profile hitting on me before. Well actually that isn’t a true. Years ago a New England patriot wanted to sleep with me. I was about 21 when that happened. I am not into sports at all. I have no idea who one person is to another on major team.

I shoot him an email and we will see what happens. I had a very eventful night. A great way to relieve my depression!!!