Regrets

I have many regrets. I hate this saying but it is what it is. Not much I can do about the past now.

I was chatting with an old friend last night. This guy I actually met online ten years ago. We went on a our first date ten years ago. He was handsome and had the sexist eyes. They looked through you. He was shorter than me and thin. I have no idea how we got on the subject but he said he had a 29 inch waist. I remember him saying it ten years ago. That is when my interest when down the drain. I was wearing a size 16 at the time. Fear, doubt and insecurities. I thought I could never take my clothes off in front of this man.

So the friend zone is where we both went. He turned into my computer guy. He is a nerd when it comes to computers. Always available to help my virus infected laptop issues. I would always take him out to dinner after his kind service for the technology illiterate.

Over the years I grew more and more attracted to him. I dare not say anything in fear of rejection. How could I ever speak to him again if rejects me. So I kept my mouth shut until yesterday.

We were talking on IM. The only reason I brought it up was due to his non single status now. He has a girlfriend and they live together. It all started with me asking him how long  have we known each other. Then it lead down the road of why didn’t I say anything. He wanted to date me. Shocked was on my face. He is not the aggressive kind of guy. He in my opinion never gave me any hints that he was interested.

I can put that in my regret book. I wished him the best with the girlfriend. He deserves a good woman. Realizing a man wanted you that you wanted and nothing was done about it. Hard to take!!! As I told him everything happens for a reason. Life goes on.

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4 thoughts on “Regrets

  1. Sorry to hear about the missed dating opportunity with this man. Who knows what the future holds but sounds like he’s not available for now. I know what you mean about regrets – it’s hard not to have them. I, too, like to take the attitude that everything happens for a reason. . . Hope you have a good Thanksgiving. I’ve had a lot of those with friends too, since I usually go to Oregon for Christmas but not Thanksgiving, but this year I’m going to Sacramento of all places to spend it with the bf’s family. Should be interesting.

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