The grass isn’t greener

I need to stay out of other people’s closets. I swear when I am not in a good place I look at everyone’s life. Their grass looks greener. I know they have problems and issues like every human being. When I am down on my life I have my nose pressed against the window of others lives.

When I was younger I swore god didn’t like me, or I wouldn’t have been in my family. I wouldn’t have all these issues and problems if god liked me. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Which I agree. All the issues and drama I have survived has made me who I am.

I know no one is issue or problem less. I am not the fly on the wall in their lives. I am working on focussing on my life. I went home last night and played my Sims game for about two hours. I haven’t done that in months. It was relaxing and stress free. I am going to start exercising tonight because I am focussed on losing this thirty pounds and being healthy.

Yesterday the bartender text me to invite me over. When did text replace calling?

He is a jack of all trades kind of guy. Massage, personal training and a few others. I told him I didn’t know if he wanted sex, a relationship or a client. He said all three would be nice. I told him I don’t pay anyone I am in a relationship or having sex with. I guess he found that amusing. I can’t say I found it funny. I was being sarcastic.

He kept pounding home me coming to his house. Did I mention he lives 45 min away with no traffic. Also that it usually takes me over an hour to get home from work in Atlanta traffic. I told him even if I just wanted sex he would have to come to me. I guess he saw that as an invitation. He invited himself to my house. He doesn’t get it at all. I am not interested in being his booty call. Which is exactly what is would be. When I was at his job he had no interest in me or my life. He asked a lot of sexual based questions.

He needs to bark up another tree. I told him why doesn’t he try asking me on a real date. He proceeds to tell me he is broke. A walk in the park would be a nice date I countered. That went on deaf ears. He doesn’t want that at all. He wants to get to my house. He needs to find him someone young in the mind. It is beyond obvious what he is trying to do. He will never know where I live and I don’t have time for his crap. He doesn’t want a relationship he wants an encounter and putting the words relationship on it for appearances.

Positive thinking take 2. My second day to turn negatives into positives wish me luck. The bartender is a good start. He finds me attractive which is a plus. It is a plus for my ego not a plus for him to get the candy!!

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