I learned something yesterday!

I was sick as a dog yesterday. My throat was hurting the day I walked into to work. I swear my job can be a cesspool of germs. Someone is always coughing or yakking. Well I knew I picked up something because my throat was on fire. I made it through the day, doped myself up with over counter drugs and went to bed. I woke up the next day worse. When I walked Mr. Shitty paints and felt like I was going to pass out, I knew I would not be going to work.

It really made me think deeply about having children by myself. I could barely function. How would I have been able to take care of a child in that condition. I am still sick now. I was having issues taking care of my dog. Now I am firm if I go down this road I am going to have to move home. I am not the type to ask for help. I don’t have that big of a social circle. I also feel I might put myself out more than I would get back. Now I can’t say that for sure. You never know until something happens who really has your back. I know being an introvert doesn’t help with single motherhood.

I have been prone to being used over the years. That is why I don’t have many close friends. I know my mom and dad would have no problem filling in if I was sick. This would be there grandchild. The grandchild they have been waiting for.

Boston is not top on my list of places to live. After yesterday it might be my only choice.

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3 thoughts on “I learned something yesterday!

  1. Being sick is hard as hell, and those are the times when you think what have I done, but you make it, you always do. You’ll find strenght you didn’t know you had.

  2. I just wanted to say I sooo relate to your words about being introverted and it being hard to ask for help. Then when you do reach out, because it was hard, it feels so crappy when people don’t respond. I had that experience yesterday with my brother – he knows I’m going through a rough time with this break-up, yet when I called in the afternoon asking him to give a call when he could, he texted around 10pm. If it were me and he were in a similar position, I would be picking up the phone to support him in a difficult time. But I know the introverted thing affects the situation because if I weren’t, I’d be out a lot more and have a larger circle of friends. It takes more energy for us introverts to rally, even when we need to. Sending care.
    p.s. I do agree that you never know what reserves you have or who will help you until you are in the situation. But I can see being near family would guarantee a lot more help. . .

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