I never want to get to excited. I hate being disappointed. It comes from a mother who made a lot of promises and wouldn’t follow through. She would tell me we are going to the park on Saturday. Saturday would come and she would be in the bed. Screaming leave her alone as a begged to go the park. I would be looking forward to it from the moment it left her lips. Then when she didn’t follow through I would scream over and over you promised and cry. So from childhood trauma I hate disappointment.
Well Doctor Dude said he will be showing up in Georgia to see me sometime soon. He will let me know in a few weeks. I am excited. I don’t want to be excited. If it falls through my disappointment will be great. I have talked to this man on and off for over three years.
My next issue is will I let him stay with me or not. I haven’t decided. I have let people stay with me I have known a lot less. I do not believe he is a serial killer. I have confirmed all the things he has told me about himself. I will wait until a plan is in place to make a decision.
I asked him when he going to make an honest dog of Mr. Shitty paints. He needs a daddy to call his own. Our little inside joke. He knows I want a baby. He is clear if I had money he would be put on the back burner to my baby dreams.
I met a new guy online yesterday. Met being we talked on the phone for the first time. It was a good convo, we will see what happens. I can’t wait until Friday. I need the weekend tor rest my mind. I am going bowling with the girls on Saturday. Woo hoo a social life!! Just what I needed. Something to make me feel less of a hermit!!