Losing Friends

I noticed with age my friend pool seems to have depleted. Some friends I have out grown. Or our lives have went into to complete different directions. I use to try to keep in touch with people. When I started to realize I was making all the effort. I cut that shit out. Why am I begging to keep a friendship alive.

Well this weekend a long-standing friend of mine and I had a falling out. We have been friends for about 30 years. The friendship could be over completely. I have to say my feelings are not what I expected. I really could careless. It has been on my mind and I have been thinking about it a lot. I haven’t even mourn the friendship like others I have lost for various reason.

She is a very bossy and controlling type of friend. The funny think if I met her now I doubt we would be friends. She is a good person in the sence she is a caring individual. Anything she does she is doing because she thinks she is helping. I don’t feel she does anything out of malice.

I do feel as adults no one really wants unsolicited advice. I am under the impression no one is perfect. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Weather that be relationships, how they raise their children and how they live there life. So I might listen or make a comment but if you feel it isn’t right for you then so be it. It is your life. This friend makes a comment and expect you to do exactly what she says. Not happening in my world.

Well the argument stemmed on another long-standing friend and bossy controlling friend having issues. In bossy friends world she felt it was okay because she was upset, to tell our other friend that she needs to stand up to her husband. Blah Blah.

Regardless of the rest of situation in my opinion you don’t tell anyone what to do with their husband. That is very easy way to lose friends. I expressed my opinion to bossy that she needs to respect other people’s marriages. Well she went ripping crazy. Yelling, screaming and swearing. Telling me I need to choose my words wisely. I instantly thought to myself. Who the hell does this bitch think she is. I am damn near 40 years old. I say what I mean and mean what I say. She had to go quickly and I let her go. I still did not yell or scream or swear at this woman. I sent her a text message telling her she needs to decided if my opinion will be respected even if it disagrees with hers. If we can’t have a basic conversation without yelling screaming and swearing. Then don’t call me back.

I don’t have time for drama. I will miss our conversations, but I will not lose sleep because she isn’t in my life. The back of the hair was standing on my neck when she went off. I know she talks to her husband like that. She talks to her family life that. She has never talk to me like that. If that is the only way she can communicate then she is less one friend. Oh well life goes on. Sometimes you need to clean house. I need positive not negative. The situation that started the argument had nothing to do with me. But when I am disrespected for no damn reason it ended up about me.

Bad Christmas date!!

I met this guy at IHOP for our date. I was excited to have a Christmas morning date. Well the excitement ended when commented on what I ordered. He seemed like a control freak. Not to mention I thought I was on an episode of who the bleep did I marry.

 

In casual conversation he alluded to being a spy. Did he use the word spy. No, but he worked for the government in some capacity that seemed very secretive. Even thought he mention random things. I was told not to ask questions because he couldn’t talk about it. I am thinking to myself this guy can not be serious. Did I mention he had a few other suspicious employment. He kept going on and on. Did I mention he took his daughter on a stake out with a woman that sent to him by the government to be his date.

 

His main job is a fireman. I am sitting here wonder what type of woman falls for this crap. I got the feeling he had someone call him to get him out of the date. Thank god I wasn’t his type. I did not want to spend any extra time with this fool.  I have to chalk this up to one of the most crazy dates. Oh well, I got a free breakfast and a crazy story.

 

I am going to pray for anyone woman who encounters this man and believes his foolishness.

 

Ominous IHOP

Ominous IHOP (Photo credit: Mike Propst)

 

 

 

Christmas Vacation

I have been enjoying all my time off. I really haven’t done much but sleep. I did end up at the store a few times. I actually bought my roommates more than expected. I saw a few gifts in Walmart I felt they would really like. They were fairly cheap but I knew they would love it. I guess it is my way to get in the Christmas spirit. My family isn’t very big on Holiday‘s.

I am still waiting for this job to tell me something. I am ready to TTC. I am scared to death for many reasons. I am praying I am fertile and it all goes very quickly. I am scared to be pregnant. I guess I am scared of everything. In my fear I am beyond ready to start trying. I have a date tomorrow morning. A breakfast date. I will see if it happens. He hasn’t confirmed. He wanted to go to Waffle House. Which I agreed to at first. Now I had a change of heart. I am working towards my goal weight.

I actually have a new resolve to my weight loss journey. 2013 is going to be a great year. I decided I am going to make it exciting and get out of my comfort zone.

 

LIMBO

English: Limbo, near Honeygeo

I don’t know what my future holds. They haven’t said anything else about the promotion as of yet. So that is on hold. Which puts baby making on hold. I been tracking my ovulation over the past few months. I should have gotten the double line today. I did not. I don’t need any more problems. I am hoping the double line shows up tomorrow.

I received a Christmas gift from my mom. It was nice to have a box to open. I guess I could have waited but I didn’t. So sweet of her. We are not really a Holiday family. Everyone asks why I don’t go home for the Holidays. First off it is cold. Second my mother has never been big on the Holidays.

I need to bring my ass home. I haven’t been home in almost two years. That was for a funereal.  I wasn’t in a rush to visit because I thought I would be living there permanently in a few months. If this promotion comes through and I take it I will have to plan a visit home.

I picked my top three choices of sperm donors. I saw on a website where a woman had a donor party. She posted the top three choices and let people put them in the order they would choose. I thought that was cute and emailed my friends and family the profile information to see what order they would pick. It went pretty well until one friend told me she wouldn’t use two of them at all. Which is fine I didn’t mind her opinion. But it sounded like she expected me to drop them from my choices based on her opinion. Ahh NO!! I know more about these men than any man I have ever slept with. One friend made me laugh. She said damn I wish he could be the father of my child.

I made my choices I was sharing. I guess I could have kept it to myself. Other than that one person I enjoyed what others had to say.

I choose based on intelligence, weight, essay, eye color. I was content with my choices. One of my donors doesn’t even have a picture. Some think that is strange but to me it wasn’t a big deal. Does a baby picture really tell you what they are going to look like as adults.

I have seen very cute kids turn into not so attractive adults. So it wasn’t a major thing for me.

I started online dating again. Well I guess I never stopped. I just put the location back to Georgia. I got a lot of emails. Seems like I am fresh meat LOL!! I am not looking for a relationship. Male company would be nice. I have my plans and I am moving forward. No interruptions !! It is all stemming on this job. If that doesn’t work out back to plan A and I am leaving the south for good.

Boring Sunday!!

I am home on a Sunday afternoon. I am doing absolutely nothing. I need to get a hobby. My roommates are at church. My roommate mom is upstairs. I am down in the living room watching a corny romantic comedy that I have seen before. The dogs are enjoying my company. Lucky them!!

I changed my profile back to Georgia. I might be optimistic. They haven’t offered me the job. Well corrections they have offered me the job they haven’t met my salary terms. I am not excited for a promotions or the extra responsibilities. I am looking forward to ttc with less financial stress.

I have to say I am a little disappointed that my move is delayed. I was looking forward to going back to Boston. Get back in with family and friends I left. I wasn’t looking forward to the cold and snow at all. New experiences was on my agenda of excitement. I guess I have to make that happen here. There has been some stress where I am living. I am not going to go into that in this blog. I am hoping it calms down and there is more peace.

With this  job comes a comfort level at the job. I know the politics and how the place works.  I wouldn’t be the new person having morning sickness and needing days off.

I started acupuncture again. I went on Friday. I told her I was beginning my fertility treatments soon. I was relaxed after the treatment. I actually felt my ovaries pounding. Hopefully they are getting prepared for baby making. I couldn’t have planned all this in my life. The twist and turns is not predictable at all. I am praying I get the job with the salary I want, and get pregnant quickly.

Make Plans and god laughs!!!

My plans might be changing with the move to Boston. I  hopefully find out shortly.

I have a new boss. My old boss quit. I really liked my old boss. She was efficient and really helped me elevate my skills. She also was a micro manager, known to yell, scream and swear.

I think I am going to love this Boss. He is so laid back and grateful for all I do. It is nice to be appreciated. Not to say my old boss didn’t appreciate me. The old saying good work gets you more work. She did show her appreciation in that way. She also expressed it to me. New Boss expressed it with gift cards. They are two very different people.

Well new boss asked me why I didn’t take the promotion. Which old boss was begging me to take. The main reason was I was planning to leave and move to Boston to start TTC. The other reason was the lack of compensation. They never settled on an amount or even gave me an offer. I could tell I was not going to be impressed.

I felt I am majorly underpaid and I knew how much the prior person in that position made. Which was a great deal more than I do. So what they did was lower the title and I am sure if they got an internal hire the pay would be nothing to write home about.

They would have to make major leaps for me to jump. When I inquired about the compensation after turning down the job four times, she said I should take it because I want it, not for the money. I think someone had me twisted. She didn’t get far with that at all, as you see I am still not in that position.  Not to mention old Boss was very demanding and I knew her requirements would be great. So I was not taking that job for less than I expected. They kept trying to convince me by the title. The title would help my career in the future. Clearly they don’t know me to well. I could careless about the title. PAY ME!!! SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

Well new Boss asked my I didn’t take the position. He feels we work well together and I would be great in the position. At this point I have nothing to lose and I told him exactly why I didn’t take the position. I feel I am underpaid and they were not going to offer me what I wanted to take the job. He was the first one not to ask then why are you still here?

When I had complaints I got that answer. One lady was shocked when I  said maybe I should take that under advisement and find a new job. Her face was mortified like she just convinced one of the companies good employees to quit. She back tracked when I gave her that smart ass answer. Only a few know of my plans to move home. One of my co-workers figured it out. (Long Story). I have recruiters calling all the time. I am sick of my profession and also had plans to leave the state so that is why I am still here. Not the answer I give when asked!!

So my new plan is. If they give me what I want salary wise. I am staying in Georgia for a while longer. I discussed it with my roommates and they are fine with me staying. I will begin TTC in the state of Georgia. Have the baby here and move to Boston when I am on maternity leave. If the pay is not what I want I am out the door to Boston in February hopefully.

It is nice to be appreciated. I actually love that I am respected in this company. Even thought I am not paid. It is probably why I been here almost five years.  Five years might not seem like much, but my usually length at any company is two years. Either being let go or moving on myself.

So will I be TTC in GEORGIA or MASSACHUSETTS. My family is cool with the delay and wanted me to take the job without the major salary increase. Accept my aunt she told me don’t accept less.

Another monkey wrench in the situation. I won on my scratch ticket. It is a major ticket. I haven’t scratched the amount. I am going to wait until Christmas. My present to myself. If it is a big number I am on my way to Massachusetts working on TTC and my new career. Even with the job offer. I am out of here!!!

On a brighter note I got my mother a new refrigerator and dryer from Home Depot. My aunt (mom twin sister) went and looked at the choices I selected online in the store. I know I partially did it because I will be moving in and felt they needed to be purchased. I also like hearing my mother happy with her new appliances. She told me she bragged to her friends that I bought them for Christmas. I like knowing that my mom is happy and proud of me!!!  Happy Holidays!!!