Life Choices

Moving day is tomorrow. I don’t want to do the work but excited about having my own space.

I love my dog, but he is not coming with me. He is home. I know he will miss me and I will him. I won’t miss walking him in the cold and rain. Does that make me a bad person??? I more of a cat person. I had him for seven years. I love my five-pound pain in the ass. Now he has brother dog and seems happier. He was board and lonely when it was just him and I. Now he plays and runs and has a good time. I have to admit I do feel guilty. I am going to have to work through that.

I am starting to get bitter about a few things.

1)My weight

2) no sex life

3) Paying to have a baby and other just have sex!!

I knew I was going to go through a lot of emotions. They have always been there. They are just multiplying by the day. Every time I think about the price of having a baby, I get upset.

I have literally never tried getting pregnant. Even when I had the ex in the picture, he was never around when I was ovulating.

I could be fertile mertile for all I know. I have protected my eggs from sperm for a number years. Hindsight is a MF!! I could have tried to get knocked up years ago. I had no idea I would have been in this position.

I have to admit I still want to find an easy way. Will it happen?? I have no damn idea. I am keeping hope alive. The war is not lost until that first insemination. Which will probably be in April.

I still think about my ex. Yes the man I cursed to high hell. We talked yesterday!! I asked him why I have been obsessed with him for over 11 years? That is why I need not judge anyone. I have issues like everyone else!!!

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