I use to be so close to my past friends. My aunt said I would marry them. Having a non Brady childhood and a lot of drama. I clung to my friends for dear life. For understanding and love that I felt I wasn’t getting at home. Growing up in the inner city all my friends had similar problems.
I felt my friends were family not just friends. With age I realized friendships fades with time. It doesn’t matter what you been through. I realized several of the people I had in my life, I had a one-sided relationship. I was doing all the work and putting them on pedestals and not getting anything in return.
About five years ago I decided to stop the BS. I removed myself out of the situation with certain people. Recently one of these people have contacted. I wasn’t bubbling over with joy to hear from her. Five years had passed. She sent me an email like we are great friends and haven’t talked in a little while. I told her where to go because I wanted her to understand why I was replying to her email like she was a stranger. To me she is a stranger.
I am not some crazy person who expects to talk to someone everyday I use to call every two or three months. She didn’t have time to talk. Only when she had something to share. Then I realized this chick hasn’t dialed my number in over a year. Literally I did all the calling to her. Then she didn’t even return my calls when I called her. I had enough. Actually she wasn’t the only one. So it took her five years to notice she hasn’t done her part.
The email dialogue continue and ended on a bad note yesterday. Well today I get an apology email. I accepted her apology. I still do not desire to pick up where we left off. I am not the same person and refuse to be put back in the box of lackey friend.
My friends in my life now are tangible Some are long distance and some are local. When I talk to them I feel the care and concern for me and my life. I have gotten rid of the access baggage.
With the acceptance of the apology she is sending get to know each other email. I might stop responding! I just not feeling it.
- So I Call You Friend (mypoeticoutlook.wordpress.com)