14DPO (I am not smiling!!!)

I was reluctant to test this morning. I knew enough time had passed. I didn’t want any bad news. Well I looked at that test in all kinds of light. It screamed at me, Negative. I know I still could be pregnant. I can’t scream fail until I see my period shows up.

This process is some new kind of torture. I emailed Mr. Known Donor and he is still willing. I feel like I always need to check with him. I don’t want him to flake out on me. I am going out-of-town for a wedding next month. I pray it doesn’t interfere with my insemination dates. I have no idea if or when my period will show up. So I can’t calculate for the days I am going out-of-town.

I have one more first response I am going to test again in a few days. I am going to try to wait until the end of the week. I could be surprised.

I have another therapist appointment tonight. I am going to ask her about these coping skills. I need a few of them now.



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