Still no Aunt Flow!!!

I have a feeling her ass is showing up. I have a few cramps which I pray are pregnancy symptoms. I have a pad on to have basis covered. With all this trying to have a baby I have no idea when her ass will get here. I always try to be prepared at work. I am self-conscious of those kind of accidents.

So I had a therapist appointment yesterday. I asked her if it was crazy to date during this TTC process. She said not at all. I was shocked. I know the world is changing. It just hard for me to wrap my head around a man being interested knowing you are trying to get knocked up by someone else. I always felt they were territorial. Who know? I know I don’t. Life is stranger than fiction.

She also told me I need to get out of my comfort zone. My aunt and my ex roommate informed me, I have no idea when men are looking at me. My ex roommate said I walk around like I am married with kids and have no interested in no one else. Which is so far from my true feelings. I just don’t see myself as that attractive. I know men find me attractive, but I don’t see it. Especially when I gain weight.

Hey I know most women have self-esteem issues. Mine is about my looks and confidence.

Yesterday I am in friends cube. I would say co-worker but we really don’t work together. He is the gay guy at work. It is fun to have a gay guy friend. I know this is so stereo typical. He is not the stereo typical gay guy. He is not the high maintenance type. He is a lot of fun and says outlandish things. So I am hanging out in his cube chit chatting. My work crush was in the cube over. He is about 6’1, and I saw him look over at me. Then when he was walking by my friend engaged him in some work conversation. We are all in the cube, my friend in his chair. Me leaning on the desk and work crush standing by the entrance. This is the longest conversation I ever heard this man have. He is another person where I work that I barely have contact with. He is so country.  He has that southern drawl. I have to say it was a big turn on. So I am staring at him as he is speaking. Even thought the conversation has nothing to do with me. So he takes a look at me our eyes meet and he turned away and seemed a little embarrassed. So they finished and he walked away.

Immediately my friend, DID YOU SEE THAT. He saw the look also. Now of course we are trying to interrupt what that means.

Okay I had to bring this up in therapy. She said I should go for it. After the look I surely thought about it more. So me and the friend and ex roommate who use to work here came up with a plan to make that happen. Let him know I am interested by way of my work friend. All this seems so high school in away. I never see this man unless we are in the break-room usually with others. I have no reason to talk to him work wise. He is service so he is out of office most of the day. Also I will be straight embarrassed if I did it myself and he gives me the hell no look. I will roll up and die.

So here is to possibilities. You make plans and god laughs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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