Know donor conversation

I have to say other than the scheduling issues. My known donor and I are great. It is interesting the conversation I am having with other folks concerning him. Like some want a possible love connection. Another person asked if he would show up to the hospital. All of that is a big no. He did me a favor and that is it. It is different if I bought sperm online. Because he is an actual person. To me it is not different, in I don’t have a relationship with frozen sperm, and I don’t want any relationship with him. I went into this with my eyes open. I think we always want to play out some weird fantasy in our heads. I am not into the fantasy. I didn’t do all this if I believed in the fantasy anymore.

He is a nice guy that did me  a favor. End of subject. A friend wanted to know why he would do this. I have to say I was curios in the beginning. I asked him once he gave me a random answer. I didn’t go any further with the questioning. I am not his interrogator. He wants to help me than thank you god. That is all I was worried about. He can keep his motivation to himself. Not a problem on my end.

It is a strange arrangement. One I never would have imagined I would be in. Two people know at work. The whole story. I been at this job almost six years and I consider them great friends. Always supportive. They seem to get he did me a favor period.  I am not saying anything bad about him. From what I know he seems like a really nice guy. The point is he told me straight up he is not looking to be a father right now. We have not connected on any type of relationship plane. Which works for me because my plan is to leave this state. All in all I appreciate this man in a way he will never understand. I was thinking about after everything is said and done. I have my baby or babies in my arms. To buy him a present. I know it might seem weird. Not to me. I couldn’t get my lousy ex to do this. He played with my mind for six months. I asked other men. I got a your selfish speech from one of them.

The relationship with my known donor is a mutual understanding. When I had the miscarriage he felt sympathy for me and told me so. When I told him I made it 5 weeks and 5 days he said congrats. What else can I expect. He told me what the deal was from the beginning. There is no love connection here and I wouldn’t want one.

So thank you known donor whatever your reasons were!!!

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