Making it another day!

I am sick but not as sick. So hard to explain. I went shopping for maternity clothes. I was very disappointed. There isn’t much in the sections and they are expensive. We ended up at the thrift shop in the plus size section. I am going to get some maternity tank tops and figure it out. I also need some additional maternity pants which I think I can find online. I am still comfortable in my regular pants. I am afraid one day I am going to pop and not be prepared. I am not ashamed to where my one pair of pants for several days.

A guy from college got in touch with me via Facebook to meet. He was in town. I felt like he was squeezing me in. He couldn’t tell me ahead of time he was coming into town. The fact that he doesn’t have my phone number and contacting me through Facebook says a lot. I feel fat, have pimples on my face and tired as hell. It wasn’t going to happen. I have to say I been feeling lonely lately.

My aunt wants to come visit. She has her own agenda. I told her if she thinks I am driving her around town, then that is a hell no. When she is here I usually try my best to do what she wants. My therapist told me I am not responsible to take someone everywhere they want to go when they visit. I told her this and she agreed a few months ago. No she is back saying when do you want me to visit. I have no energy to entertain anyone. I am freaking tired. I lay in the bed all day on the weekends. I have to push myself to do everything. So unless she wants to sit in the house I suggest she does not come and visit me. My aunt doesn’t like hearing the word no. She told me I was mean. She wants to go to this hairdresser her daughter in law had at her wedding. I am not the hair chick. So I don’t get why this is so important. Also not my problem. She can keep asking I am going to tell her the same answer. I am not taking you to some hairdresser 40 minutes away from my house to wait or come back for you. It is freaking hair. I say this as my hair has been looking beyond crazy these days. I am going to have to figure out what the hell I am going to do with it one of these days. As least as possible is what I feel at the moment.

So if I don’t care about my own hair. I damn sure don’t care about hers. Sorry I have no time to worry about anyone else. Me and pumpkin as my mom calls the baby. My main and only concern. If your mad be mad. I have to say I don’t care and I mean I really don’t care.

 

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2 thoughts on “Making it another day!

  1. Hey,

    Best of luck, I’m sure the tiredness will pass soon. I’d give anything to be in your shoes right now.

    In fact you’ve inspired me to try the known donor route again as I can see it didn’t take you that long to get pregnant. Well fingers crossed I’m the same (all the gory details are on my blog). I’ll keep you posted 🙂

    • Thank you. I wish you much baby dust. I was convinced in my soul I didn’t have the fertility issues they were talking about. I am still nervous. First trimester and all. I wish you much success and if you have any questions for me. Which I don’t answer all on blog leave me your email address.

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