I had clear skin most of my life. You wouldn’t know it looking at me now. The first sign of skin madness was when I took the DHEA. That jacked me up and I didn’t know what to do. I was so embarrassed. I found makeup to cover it up. I am not the makeup girl, but I was getting pretty good at it. Until I lost interest in putting it on every morning. Now that I am pregnant pimples are showing up in clusters on my face. I have no energy to put makeup on them. I have put some pimple cream that seems to help them before the blow up my face. The red dots are still there. It is like I have a pimple rash. If one person says that is what you asked for being pregnant I will scream. So I am no complaining about my pimples even though they are bothering me. It might be the fast food I have been eating. I am trying to eat healthy. My stomach doesn’t feel right with most things I put into my body.
Still nervous and haven’t started my daily praying yet. I am going to get on that tonight. I have been so tired, after I wash dishes and eat I am in the bed. My motivation to do anything is zero. I am also trying not to stress about my financial situation. God has always worked everything out for me. I am so sick of owing people money. I guess it is life. I have a scratch ticket I know is a winner that I haven’t scratched yet. It could be a free ticket which is five bucks. Or enough money to make my ass stop whining about money for a good while. Here is to Lottery money. Life is stranger than fiction. My father knows a guy who won a million dollars from a convenience store he buys scratch tickets from all the time. So shit, you never know. The top prize isn’t retire money but it is pay off bills and have a nice saving money. Which my plan would be to move back to Boston and be a student with a part-time job if I scratch to victory of top prize. So nice to fantasize. I say always dream. My dream of pregnancy has come true. I am scared shitless that something is going to go wrong. But looking back three years ago. I wanted it, but all I could think is I can’t afford it and it is not going to happen. Now my life is turned around and it is happening. As I said Life is stranger than fiction. I couldn’t have scripted my life at this point. I have a lot fears. Which I am going to talk to my therapist about my next appointment. Other than that all is good in the hood. I can’t wait to get off work. I want a hamburger big time. Or a big salad from Golden Corral. We will see which way I go when I get off work.