39 is here!!

I will be 39 years old on Thursday. I have no plans for my birthday. I will be at work and it will just be another day. I am shocked how close to 40 I am. I will be 26 weeks pregnant by tomorrow. My mother keeps asking me what I want for my birthday. I have no wants other than a money windfall. I don’t see any gifts that I desire for my birthday.  I have been blessed with a stomach full of my best gift ever. I been shopping for her like I have no sense. Granted at consignment sales. So I don’t feel to bad about it.

I need to do my taxes. I am thinking about completely fixing my car if I get enough back. One less thing to worry about. I am going to work on it this up coming weekend. It will be pretty simple. I really need to tally all the medical expenses of the last year. Once I get that together I am sure my taxes will take less than an hour. I use Turbo tax.

I am waiting for the nurse to call me back. My hands are swelling at night. I wake up and my hands hurt. Until I move them around then after about five minutes they are back to normal. I need to know if this is normal. I don’t want it to be a sign something is wrong and I ignore it. I am also very stiff when I sit for to long. Which is difficult because all I do at my job is sit at a computer.

My stomach is sticking out a lot. I am also not eating a very good diet. It has been so hard to get on track. I have 14 more weeks. I finally sent out my baby shower invitations. A few people already received them. I only purchased 40 and I only have once left. Which is for me to put in the baby book. I was shocked I used them all. Half were sent out-of-town for people I doubt will be coming. My aunt is coming and that is about it. Everyone keeps asking about my mother. She will be coming for three to four weeks once the baby is born. It doesn’t make sense to spend more money on another plane ticket. She will be a big help when she gets here.

My apartment is tight quarters so I hope we don’t kill each other in those few weeks. I can’t take any time off when my aunt gets here. I am saving all my time for maternity leave. We will have to make due. It is all coming together and my anxiety is still there, but working on them. It is so funny that people keep minimizing my anxiety. When I mention it I get stop worry about that focus on the baby. Okay to tell my mind to just stop doing something does not work. I wish it did, Life would be a whole lot easier. I know they are trying to help, but that is not how anxiety works. Shit if all the doctor had to say is stop doing that. This world would be a whole different kind of place!!!


2 thoughts on “39 is here!!

  1. Happy Belated Birthday! Yes you have the best gift in your tummy. I admire you’re thinking through the details if your move etc.

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