30 Week update

I had my 30 week appointment. I am doing great. I didn’t gain any weight in the last two weeks. They were happy about that. They confirmed I don’t have gestational Diabetes. I did get an update on my Carpel Tunnel. If it gets worse they will send me to physical therapy. If it continues to get worse they will take me out of work.

I have to also call my insurance and make sure they cover the hospital pediatrician. I thought that was crazy. When I pre-registered at the hospital they had that in bold print on one of the forms. All the paper work is crazy. From insurance to FMLA information to fill out. I talked to a SMC friend. I meet her at the one meeting I went to two years ago. I bonded with her and she bonded with another woman. Both of those women have had their babies. I am the last one in the line of success among our little group.  It really made me realize anything is possible.

My heart goes out to any woman who wants a child and for whatever reason can’t have one. My choice of being a SMC will not be an easy one. What I am learning is everyone has advice. But you need to pay attention to yourself and what works for you. Especially baby gear. Like a whip warmer. Some mothers say they never use it. It is a waste. A warm whip is not what you want your kid to get use to. When you are out they will be cold and the kids will freak out. Then other mothers, I used it all the time. So everyone has their opinions of what they do and don’t do.

My biggest pet peeve is someone telling me what kind of mother I will be. Will I be strict, or let my kid get away with everything. I don’t have those answers myself. It aggravates when people inform me of what I am going to do with my child. I have certain morals and values that I know isn’t align with these people who are making the statements. I see how some kids act in front of people and I am appalled. Then I hear people say when they had kids they started to understand what those people with bad kids are going through. All this remains to be seen in my life.


Getting the House together!!

I have too much crap. I don’t know why I have so much crap. I cleaned the house. I haven’t scrub the kitchen or bathroom. I have gotten most of the stuff off my couch. Where my aunt is going to sleep when she comes into town. I have gone through mounds of paper work. Ripping up paper and putting then in a trash bag. I put some Olive Oil and old potatoes in the bag. Trying to avoid identity theft. I can’t shred. I have broken so many shredders. I put to many pieces of paper in, because I am impatient and soon after it doesn’t work anymore. Not perfect, but a lot of progress on the apartment.

I got a brace from Walgreen for my pregnancy induced carpel tunnel. I didn’t realize I got the wrong one. I got a left-handed one which I put on my right hand. My co-worker informed me. I felt like an idiot. I will be returning it tomorrow. I have to say even with the wrong hand, my wrist is feeling so much better.

I am not sure what is going to make me feel ready for my child to come in my life. I know people who had children without all the crap I bought. Or as much money as I have. I am fearful, I am missing something or will do something wrong.

A friend told me I should align people to bring me food for the first few weeks. I heard that before from a few different sources. I feel uncomfortable asking for help. I know it is crazy. Some people have no problem calling a friend and saying can you do this and that. I am not one of those people. I don’t know if it is something I will get over in a matter or weeks. Can I do it myself. I think it is possible. Will it be easier with help? I am sure it will be. I am praying she comes out the regular way and then I can drive. Which makes a big difference. I can ask someone to watch her for an hour or two while I run my errands. Like go grocery shopping. I doubt I will starve to death under either circumstances. I pushed back my mother arrival another week. I want her to be here to help. Not watch me if I haven’t had the baby yet.

My fridge stopped working again. Maintenance came at 10pm last night to fix it. I think this guy is the head of maintenance. He got me the my new toilet. He even said he would come back during the day to make sure it is still working. I have a few things to do tonight. Cook, continue to clean and get some rest. I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. I hope I haven’t gained too much weight. We will see!!! TEAM Healthy baby!!!

Gestational Diabetes!

God gives you what you can handle. Thank you god I don’t have gestational diabetes. I am dealing with enough at the moment. My wrist hurts in a major way. Pregnancy carpal tunnel. My babies shower is coming up on April 5th. I haven’t been the center of attention for anything in a long time. I have to say twenty years. I never liked being the center of attention. Some people love it. I have never developed a taste for that. I like to fly under the radar.

My baby cousin finished basic training in the Marines. He is a man now. I always thought of him as my child. Even though our relationship didn’t begin until he was ten. I would take him to the movies and he would spend the night at my house. He would tell me his dreams and aspirations. He was so special to me. His teenage years turned out to be very tense and they had moved back to Boston by then.

He called me from his mothers phone. I was shocked to hear from him. I told him I was pregnant. He said I heard in a not so excited voice. I said I won’t forget you, you were my first baby. He said you better not. Oh so cute that he appreciated the part I played in his life. Made my heart melt.

I went to two consignment sales. I swear those Methodist church are unbelievable great. There was a mob of people at both. I got several things that weren’t on my registry but I wanted to buy after my baby shower. A car seat canopy, A bottle drying rack that looked like grass, Car bottle warmer,Diaper Genie. I got each of those things for five buck a piece. I also bought the cutest socks. I will add pictures of a sample of everything below. They have everything. I refuse to buy anything I can’t wash or clean myself. Certain things I want new like bottles. I been to so many now and have to say you can’t beat the deals. Especially with all this baby crap so expensive. They are practically giving some of this stuff away. Which make perfect sense. Why not make some money on stuff you will never use again. The Car Seat Canopy retails for 19.95, Car bottle warmer 14.99, Bottle drying rack 19.95,Diaper Genie 29.95. For a grand total of 84.84 plus shipping. I paid 20 buck. Consignmentmommies.com is the place to be.31j5N3r7QCL._AA160_15016446_201312301513 15223490_201403041228_243x243_pad 40649905 download (1) download (2)

I been working on my resume. Which I hate doing. I updated it and sent it to several people for opinions. My cousin came back with some great ones. Which I fixed several of her suggestions. It is great we are both in the same field. I want to put on my resume I want a job with great pay, low stress, and no overtime. That would be great. I know I am living in a fantasy world. A friend of mine keeps reminding me of my blessing. I thank her for that because when I want to complain I really need to think of all the great things that has happened in my life.

Dentist appointment!!

I feel like I have a lot of appointments. My entire job history I am at work so much they have to force me to take my vacation. Sometimes I feel like just cut me a check. That would make me happier than a vacation. I do not give vacation days back. It is a benefit that is part of my payment working for a company. My employee feels it no big deal not to use his vacation days. I demanded he take it.

I have a dentist appointment today. I am going to make it. I have no idea when I will see a dentist again. Meaning in three months I should be a new mom. Moving to Boston getting insurance starting a new job. I don’t see in any of that a possible dentist appointment on the horizon.

I have great teeth and awful gums. I been going to the dentist every three months for about five years now. I know they are so much better than before. Even my hygienist commented on it. I think it is the Arm & Hammer tooth paste I use. Since I incorporated that, my teeth and gums have been doing great. My aunt tried it and said it didn’t work for her. Well I found the perfect fit for me.

I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep until it was time to get up. I can’t wait to see my little girl. But I want my body back. I feel trapped in the body from hell. My fingers are so swollen in the morning it is crazy. It is so painful to move them. I believe I am getting carpel tunnel in my right wrist. Which I found out is another pregnancy symptom. When my bladder gets fill it hurts. I am waddling to the bathroom as quickly as possible. I told my cousin who has had three babies she never told me any of this shit. She lived with me during part of her third pregnancy. She laughs and said it will be over soon. I can’t believe I only have a few months.

I will have to admit I am scared of giving birth. No one has made giving birth sound appealing. Even the ones who thought it was a great experience. I didn’t like their stories either. Yes the outcome is your child. But I would love to jump to that instead of the countless hours of pain and pushing. I also am not interested in a C-section. Mainly being a SMC I need to be able to get around. Not depend on people to help me. I know I do have people who will come over to do just that. I still have a major issue with asking for help. No I haven’t fix that about myself yet.

Thank god I have aggressive friends in my life that just run me over and say the are going to help. I know it takes a village.

I also had a baby shower gift stolen. Yes I think it was dropped at my door and someone took it. Their big prize was crib sheets and bottles. I had to have Amazon re send the stuff. Which are now in my leasing office which I will pick up today. The joys of living in an apartment. That and three flights of stairs!!

Work Stress!!

My job situation has been smooth for the last couple years. With a few bumps in the road. Now the issue of maternity leave and who is going to cover me is becoming a big issue. It doesn’t help that my boss quit. I guess I really shouldn’t care. But I don’t want to leave my company in a lurch. I think I am crazy. So I have to train some high level person from our corporate office. Which having someone sitting at my desk for several days. Is going to be awful.

I don’t need anymore stress. I am tired all the damn time. I can’t sit for only a half an hour at a time. I went to healthy baby weekend. It was so much information I did not need to know. All I needed to know was when to go to the hospital and not get sent home. When can I get an epidural. All the video and breathing is not me at all. I am glad my old roommate went with me. Because the whole thing was partner based.

There were two other couples. The men did not seem that interested in the whole thing. This one guy seemed very concerned about his sex life after his baby comes out. He wanted to know when she can start her kegal exercises after birth. Also he didn’t want her to have an episiotomy and can he tell the doctor that.  The lady said you can but he won’t ask your permission. He didn’t seem to happy about that.

I am praying for an easy birth. There is no turning back now.

I am also praying work does not go crazy. I am not in the mood for any extra drama at work. This high level person coming in has a reputation of not being easy to work with. I am thinking oh great and that person will be sitting with me for four days. I have my therapist appointment tonight. I kind of wish I could go home and go to sleep.  I do need some perspective. It might be just what I need!!!

A smile on my face!!!

I am a pretty basic person. Not into decorating. It takes all in me to keep things clean.

I have to say I always like Hello Kitty. Not in a way I own anything Hello Kitty. I know some people go over board. But for my daughter that is what I wanted. So I have a friend that was going to buy me the Hello Kitty Crib set and my aunt was buying the Hello Kitty Travel system. Can I say I was beyond excited. Well when it came time to buy them they were all sold out. I was disappointed, which I quickly got over being the adult I am.
Well my aunt found the stroller I wanted at a certain Walmart and I will be picking it up today. Also my friend looked online and the crib set was finally available. Can I say score!!!!14239604_201402271708 Slide1

I am also shocked how many people from out-of-town might come to my baby shower. I am not the person who likes people to go out their way for me. I know I have issues. I have several coming from Boston and now one coming from Chicago. I feel so loved.

I told one of my favorite cousins about the baby. I know I am seven months pregnant and I knew it was going to be an awkward conversation. I usually don’t sensor information or lie. I am an open book. In this situation I lied. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation about how my baby got here. She did ask very personal questions. Which under any other circumstance I have no problem answering. Just not in this situation.

I am so damn tired. I woke up at three am to go pee and couldn’t go back to sleep until 4:30am. I did not want to get out of the bed. I waited until the last possible minute. Now I want to fall asleep on my desk. I don’t know how I am going to do with sleep deprivation with an infant. It is scary, because I am having a hard time functioning now.

Living the dream!!

Having a baby alone was not my original dream. It was my plan B dream. I am feeling so huge these days. Women at work are making comments about how big I am. Thank god I have one work friend that says I am just fine. According to my pregnancy app I have 14 weeks.  In seven more days I will be 7 months. It is fun and scary at the same time. My old roommate is going to the third trimester class with me. They are so great to me. I am also having a baby shower as of April 5th. The lovely friends in my life.
I feel the baby more sporadically. I am nervous about being a mother. I am hoping everything comes naturally to me.

I am working on a new plan of how to get my baby, me and our crap to Boston in one piece.  My cousin has volunteered to help and bring in reinforcement. She is dependable her reinforcements is what I am not so sure about. It will cut the price in half. Which is what I need to happen. I am still going to get an estimate from a moving company.

Still playing the lottery. So many of my prayers have been answered why not that one LOLOL!!!