Being a Single Sucks!!!

20140528_160326I got an estimate for my cross-country move. $3,600 I was not happy about the amount. My father thinks I should get rid of my stuff. It is my stuff. I am not a hoarder, and I want my stuff.  The summer is peak time for moving. Also it is an 18 hour drive. Plus they need to move it down three flights and up two flights.

I have financial insecurity. I always have been worried about my finances. I have been fiscally responsible most of my life.

There are not a lot of men in my family. To enlist them to move my crap. I only have my 70-year-old father. I don’t want him to be involved in this move production. If he was a lot younger I would have pushed for his help. I remember I had to move and my ex moved all the furniture his self. I would love a man by my side that could handle it like that.

Or it would be nice for someone else to put their input into the best way to handle this. I have to say I am always afraid to make a mistake. I talked to a friend and she had a good point. So what if I make a mistake. What would be the worst thing that could happen. I am my own worst critic. I need to stop being so hard on myself. My mother is coming June 14-29.  I am going to do the most of the packing when she gets here. Those two weeks will be getting things together time. It seems like I was so close to getting out of debt. I feel like I am getting right back into it.

Would I replace debt for my child. Hell no!! I really need to think about that when I try to complain.

I went to my apartment complex and found out I had some boxes. The old management sucked and these boxes looked like they been sitting there forever. A friend sent me a baby shower gift. I texted her to thank her. She thought I had the box a long time ago. I told her I sent thank you cards to everyone who had my back. Not because of gift. The encouragement from good friends helped me to get Ava.

Miss Ava wanted more body contact to get to sleep today. I was trying to make her bottles and sandwich for myself. I was starving. It took a minutes to continue that process and get her to calm down and go to sleep.20140528_165453

I have some great friends. During this whole process I have been feeling so loved. Plus my Ava was so worth everything I did. I was very resentful of all the money I paid to the fertility clinic to not have a baby in the end. 7K on a credit card. If I didn’t do that, I know I would have second guessed myself in the route I did take.

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4 thoughts on “Being a Single Sucks!!!

  1. Hey there! I tried to comment yesterday but it gave me an error message. Sounds like you are doing so great as a new mom! Poor thing on the diaper change – it will get better as she gets older and you can engage with her more. Sorry about moving costs – that sucks! But glad you’re mom is coming to help get organized and move forward. Sending good luck.

  2. Hi congratulations on beautiful baby Ava lovely name. I also have dopa responsive dystonia and this is how I first found your blog. I have concerns about the medication during pregnancy did you find this to be a problem in the end. Good on you for having your baby on your own you can’t control meeting a partner but luckily for women you don’t have to let this stop you fromissing out on becoming a mother. I’m trying to conceive at the moment. Cheers Brooke

    • There is good news and bad news. I will start with the bad. There are no studies to give you 100% answer that the medicine won’t harm your baby. The good news is people have had healthy babies taking the medicine. My baby is healthy and people have contacted me through my blog and told me there great experiences. You do need to see your neurologist and ask all the question. but don’t be surprised if they don’t have a lot of answers.

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