Single motherhood isn’t easy!!!

I am pretty much a stay at home mom. I have a new respect for women who stay at home. I could never work from home. I know it sounds good. I am not motivated in the house. I went to one of my meetings. This woman said she was a stay at home mom with a au pair and a husband. I was instantly jealous. My mother is great, but she is not my employee. So I can’t tell her what to do. Which makes it a whole different dynamic. My mother does what she feels like doing. Which I totally appreciate, but telling someone to do what exactly what I need. Not what they feel you need. Would feel great right now.

I am not adjusting very well to Boston. City living feels so tight. The streets are tight, driveway is tight. Even thought I lived in an apartment complex. I didn’t live in the city of Atlanta. So I didn’t feel so squished on a daily  basis.

My baby sleeps like she has two full-time jobs. Which I am grateful. Yesterday she didn’t have her naps. Which my mother did not make me aware. Which I found out how a overtired three-month old acts like in Wal-mart. A damn fool is the words I would use. She had a crazy melt down. Now I need to watch out and make sure this child has her sleep.

I was getting my hair did. Which my stylist who is a gay boy. Gay men do great hair. He convinced me to dye it honey blonde. Granted all he said was that color would look good on you. That is all I needed to know. As I was sitting there with the cap on. I was thinking what the hell am I doing. As I am watching my hair change under the cap.

I am getting use to it. It is dramatically different. I felt I needed some different in my life. He also didn’t cause much pain while doing my hair. Which was great because it was a hot mess when I got there.

I have completed absolutely nothing today. I need to do better than this. Ava and I will be making our way to the park to walk tomorrow. I am getting to use to only going out with my mother and the baby. I need to go it alone. I have been thinking about having another one. I want a husband and a nanny. You never know dreams do come true. I still have my scratch tickets going. They just say Massachusetts instead of Georgia. If I win I am kicking out the tenants down stairs. Re model the whole house. Or find a suburb that makes me feel less cramped. Anything is possible.

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