Missing Sex!!

Yes a relationship would be nice. Relationships that worked in my life was always hard to come by. Sex in my life was not that difficult. I use to have a few regulars. I get so real with you guys online. Hey I have no point to hide. Well the need for sex has always been there. Even when I went a long time without it. I have dated for a number of years. Had many short and mid length relationships. I would never call anyone long. Except for an ex that has come in and out of my life for 12 years. But there was no consistency there so I would not use that in terms of a long-term thing. I think he gave me a call when some other woman broke his heart. Not that he would ever admit that. On some occasions depending on my emotional state at the time I would let him back in. Then eventually kick him out again for the same exact bullshit each time. I know insanity.

He was supposed to be my child’s father. Thank god I dodge that bullet. I feel what happened was meant to happen.

I am trying to type with Ava on my lap and it is a losing battle. Now back to sex, good sex is always hard to come by. A good casual situation is even harder. I think I have had two casual situations that somewhat worked for short periods of time. They worked because I had no interested in them as long-term. Why did I keep them around. You got it purely for the sex. I find those two situations very unique. I know a lot of men who want to have sex with me. I am not bragging more saying men want sex. A relationship is something totally different. To have a casual situation that would work for me. There is a respect factor. Yes I know it sounds strange. But I demand respect. If you think you are going to treat me like a two dollar whore and I am going to lay down for you. You got the wrong woman.

Over the years I figured out which man just want to use me  and run. I have been caught out there with my feelings hurt because I thought a guy was better than what he was. That is when I took a three-year break from dating. To regroup and get myself together. Sometimes a break is needed in a big way. That was my break. Then I had another break when I decided I wanted to have a baby. So I do miss a guy being interested in me. Now the plumber who is hitting on me is nice. Not the guy I want but the attention is great.

He wanted me to call him. I am not feeding into that. I haven’t called. Being in this new city. I know I was born here, but knew in the since of my relationship. I clearly have no casual situation to jump into. Which I wish I did. I really never thought I would come back to this place. I should have kept up with some folks.

This is so bad, but my ex boyfriend from college dropped me as his Facebook friend years ago. I have no idea why. We didn’t really talk on Facebook other than when he first added me. Maybe his wife had him do it. Well that was 8 plus years ago. I think, or at least five. Maybe he isn’t married anymore. I wouldn’t mind meeting him some where. We were hot and heavy in that department in college and I didn’t leave disappointed. A girl can dream!!!


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