Living the dream

I am sitting here watching the HBO series Girls. Out of sheer board-um. I really don’t get it. Sex in the City was more my scene. I guess I really don’t understand this generation. I have many books in my brain. Procrastination is hard to get over in my life. I have all these projects in my brain there never seem to get completed.

Ava is sleep and I enjoying the peace. I love my baby, but I do miss my quality time. I took a long hot shower and it was great. I needed that deeply.

I know as soon as January comes hopefully a job will be on the horizon. My mind does think about having baby number two. Until I see on a daily basis how it is hard to have baby #1 so hard.


Feeling some type of way.

I emailed  my ex. When I get lonely I start looking  up the ghost  of Christmas passed. My baby is sleeping  right next to me.  I am typing  this on my tablet because  turning on a computer  right now just seems like to much trouble. 
He is married. Which annoyed  me.  In a way I am glad he is happy.  On another hand I want a husband.  Not him,  since all we did was fight and he never  seemed to get himself  together. He was sent tall and the sex was great.  That isn’t  the recipe  for long term. He was the biggest  asshole.  We tried to date twice and both times ended badly.  I actually  deleted his number, I emailed him. I also tried  to look up another  ex with no luck.  I guess  that is for the best.  I am feeling blue.  The plumber still likes me but he has a lot going  on. Which  I don’t think I want to be involved  in.
God has answered  my prayers  in  a lot of ways.  I am 208. L
osing 30 pounds has put a big smile  on my face. 43 more pounds  and I will be a cutie pie.  At least  I will be feeling like the old me. Confident  especially with my body. Granted I don’t  have a hard body but I feel  so much better when I am not carrying  a bunch of excess weight.
The plumber might be my next known donor.
On a good note I won on another  scratch ticket. I haven’t  scratch  how much.  I wanted  to fantasy for a while  it was the top prize. I am enjoying  the fantasy then scratching it and finding  out it’s a free ticket.


I didn’t get the job. Which I assume was god plan. I was very disappointed. My mother and I have made a decision that if I do not have a job by February I am going to go for a temp to perm or a temp. To have money coming in.

I did hit on a scratch ticket for $500.00. Which I scratched because my Aunt and I were arguing. When I scratch them and they are losers I usually put them a side a look at them again later. I don’t want to throw out a winner by accident. Which is exactly what would have happened. I had a winner in what I thought was a stack of loser. I haven’t scratched how much yet. I want to live in the fantasy that it is 10 million dollars. Which I have been planning in my head what I would do with the money.

Working is not on that list at all. I know my fantasy is better than my reality. My reality is pretty great also. Every day when I wake up with my daughter in my bed. Which was not the plan. I wanted her in her own bed. Hey I tried. LOL When we are cuddling in the morning I feel so blessed that she is mine. God is real and gave me the best gift of my life.

Life and more drama!

Bathroom is bare bones and I see why house construction is such a crazy productions. Especially when you have so many people in the mix. It is going be funny that this house get totally done over and I get married and leave.

I would love to be the master of my own domain. My baby is clingy and spoiled and cute as hell. She loves her mommy. She wants me all to herself with no interruption.

I haven’t been doing much at all. I am waiting to find out if I got this job. Which would be a nice change of pace. Scary also in the same breath. With Ava being with my mother every day. Spending less time with my baby would be an adjustment.

The plumber is still flirting with me and talking about having two more babies. I really feel this motherhood thing is no joke. I would do one more and that is it. Remember when I wanted twins. That is not something I wish for at all. All I want is healthy children.

My friend said her son is talking. He is only two months older than Ava. It makes me wonder if Ava is behind. I really don’t want to compare her to other children. I also do not want to not notice things I should notice. When I looked it up online they said they might not talk until a year or older. The doctor didn’t seem concern.

Later this week I have to take Ava to get her second flu shot. I guess infants get two shots instead of one. I found a house I want in my fantasy world. Never know fantasy might come true. Ava proves that.

Interview Madness

I had a three-hour interview today. I can’t believe I was in there that long. I am not sure how to take it. Who I impressed and who I didn’t. I am not sure. I am nervous about the overtime expected. It sounds like a great learning opportunity. The recruiter asked me would I take an offer. I believe I would. They where jeans everyday. Most people in the building had blue jeans on.

My baby is teething. Also I cancelled my picture session due to the weather tomorrow. Our bathroom renovation has been delayed. Such is life, I am rolling with the punches. I am giving it all over to god. Nothing I can do at the moment but wait and see. They are interviewing a lot of other people. I haven’t worked in seven months so feeling a little intimidated.

Another Job interview!

When I left the job interview on Tuesday a recruiter called me about another position. I told him I didn’t want to meet him unless he had a job. I am sick of wasting my time. He said he had a position and he wanted to get me in front of them immediately. This job fits my resume perfectly. I am praying it is a great fit. I was supposed to meet him on Monday by 11:30am.  Well the company wants to meet me. Of course he wasn’t going to send me on n sight unseen. I couldn’t do an earlier time. My mother works very late on Sunday night. So we had a Skype interview.

Which went great until the lights went out. The electrician was doing some work. I immediately called him back and he said it was OK. So now I have an interview on Monday with the actual company.

On a baby note. She is teething. Which includes a lot of slobber. She also pee again while having her naked time. Everyone is right the diaper rash looks like it is doing better. I need to be consistent.

I am praying this job doesn’t have a whole lot of overtime. I want to fit right in do the job and go home. I know I am jumping. Right now I just want to do well on my interview. Thanks for all the positive comments.

Choices, Choices!!

I had an interview yesterday. I didn’t get the job. I found out a few hours later after interview. After meeting the manager I really didn’t want to work for this woman. Granted if she offered me the job. I would have considered it. I am gluten for punishment.

She said three times in the interview she has high standards. We would be working closely. She doesn’t mind change which sounded like a blatant lie. She works to 9 or ten o’clock at night but don’t expect her employees too. I guess I did great except for one portion. That is god doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.

God doing for me what I could not do for myself. My bills are paid for the month of December so I am good for now. Not broke but would love a windfall of money. I guess I live in my fantasy world. Which has always kept me entertained. I always said my fantasy life is so much better then my reality.

The plumber came over today. He kept telling me what to do. Not something I care for, but it’s not like I did it. I told him he needs to take me on a date. I told him I wanted to go to the Zoo. Ava and I want to go tot he Zoo. We will see what happens.

Another recruiter called me and had a job I am very much interested in. More up my alley. It also pays more then the woman with high standards. Keep me in your prayers!!

Does Lighting strike twice!

My last job situation was great. I am praying for that to happen again. My interview is tomorrow. I am meeting the hiring manager. If she likes me I will meet the director at a later date. I wish it was all at once. I am glad they are still interested in me. The recruiter told them they need to jump because I have other interviews. Which is true I am waiting for another interview to be set up. Life is about to change in a big way.

Back to the reality of life. I am not independently wealthy so I have to work. I have a plan to get out of debt in two years or less. I want to aggressively pay off my bills so I can be on a cash basis. I am sick of owing people.

I went to Walmart and picked up baby food that was more interesting than the basic green beans, and sweet peas and bananas. I went on the Beechnut website and found they have macaroni and cheese, Chicken and rice, Squash and mango. I want my child to like a variety of food. So I splurged on different foods. I don’t want a picky eater. I already have a high maintenance child.

I need to get her out of my bed. That is going to be a long process. My child has me wrapped. It is hard when they don’t understand. Even thought I am getting the impression she knows a lot. She cries harder when I get in the room. She knows when she ramps it up I will get weak. Not all the time, but I do cave more than I thought I would.

I am 212 pounds. Which means I have lost 26 pounds since I moved to Boston. Not the massive weight loss I wanted. I do appreciate having a weight loss. I have 47 more pounds to get to the 165 I desire to be.



My interview for tomorrow isn’t happening. My recruiter claimed the director didn’t come in to give them a time. I don’t know how I feel about that. I have no choice but to deal with it. We will see what happens. Then another company might be interviewing me. I haven’t heard great reviews about this company, and how they treat their employees. They are going to pay me very well. I haven’t been at a job for six months. It feels like ten years. I wanted to go to the gym tonight but my mother was tired so that isn’t going to happen. It is six pm and she is already asleep. I am waiting for Ava to go to sleep to take a very long shower.

I am ready to work. Or be independently wealthy. I did when 100 bucks on a scratch ticket. Not the million I was looking for, but I will take it.

I bought Ava new convertible car-seat. My mom said why didn’t I buy the more expensive one. She always offers to pay for things. My mother is on a fixed income. I don’t want her money. My father agreed to buy the car-seat. He is also on a fixed income but he hasn’t bought anything for the baby. I did not want to go crazy with the price of the car seat. I am a reasonable person, and I really hate feeling like a burden to anyone.

The plumber and I talked and I told him I didn’t understand why he was interested in me. We are so different. Just like a man I got no answers to that statement. I swear every man who ever has entered in my life don’t know how to use their words. Women want explanations, but I always get half ass answers to direct questions. When they say men are from Mars women are from Venus it so true.