I been feeling like a lump on a log. I haven’t been working on my projects at all. My daughter goes to sleep early like six o’clock. She starts off in the pack n play and ends up in my bed. I turn around and go to sleep early myself. I need to work on things that engage my mind. I been working on classes for my profession. Also these blogs I want to keep up on. There is another blog I have ignored for a few years. I need to practice my writing and get my life together. I know single mothers do a lot in their life.
When I put my mind to something I usually get it done. I want to be productive and feel like I am working on accomplishing my dreams.
Tomorrow I have an interview with another recruiter. Hopefully getting closer to getting a job. The money tree hasn’t blessed me with the funds to not work. I am still keeping hope alive on that front. My child like her mother sleeps a lot. I love to sleep which I been told is a sign of depression. Which I have to worry about going to a deep dark place in my head. I need to make my mind up to be happy. I know that is easier said then done. I have a lot of blessing and every time I am depressed I feel I am turning my back on my blessings.
I know I have many future blessing. I need to work toward them. I posted my weight on Facebook. I plan to be at my goal weight of 165 eventually. I got a lot of support for getting under 200 pounds. My cousin said he couldn’t do it he is very private. I told him we are different people. I am not really the be in the spotlight type of person, but if I can help someone I would. Not to say he wouldn’t. For me it doesn’t have to be someone I know intimately. Which are most of my friends on Facebook.
I just watch the marathon of 16 and pregnant where are they now. I felt bad for most of those girls. It was awful how stagnant a lot of their lives were. Some didn’t finish high school. Working low paying service jobs. A lot of their baby daddies not stepping up. All of it was very depressing and makes me feel great about my life choices.
I am watching my child sleep while I am typing on this eight year old laptop. I really need a new one, but don’t see the point while this one is still working. When I get a job I know I am going to be in the hustle of life. I am blessed I got to be home with my daughter for eight months. I never planned for this, so it was meant to happen. Still not totally broke yet, and waiting to file my taxes this year to get some cash. When the weather breaks and Ava is older we are going to be doing a lot. I plan for Saturday’s to be her day that we do something geared towards her. I still want more kids. I know I sound crazy, but I don’t want her to be an only child if I can help it. We will see how it goes.