So damn tired!!

I will be 40 on Friday. I have no big plans. I started a new job and the benefits more than sucks. I know I need not worry about things. But damn the deductible is unbelievable high. this is some straight bullshit. I asked the recruiter about the benefits. She gave me the premium information. I needed to know what the damn insurance covered. I might have considered not taking the job.

The truth is I needed a job. I was on my last few thousand of dollars. I am happy to have a job, but the benefits make me want to keep looking. I am turning 40 and my plan is to go to sleep early on my birthday. I am so tired it is unbelievable I am up typint this.

I really need to work on somethings. Living my dreams take sacrifice. My sleep is being sacrificed. I need to know how to function on less sleep. I have aspirations to do many things. I have to fit that in with a full-time job.

The plumber wants a baby from me. I told him I would consider it if I didn’t have to work. I am serious if he can make that happen I would get pregnant again. I know I am crazy. Crazy is as crazy does!!!


Boston Blizzard Bullshit

All this snow is some major bullshit. I can’t believe I moved home and my first winter is this crazy. I am so thankful my mother has a snow blower. Even though I am not a fan of manual labor. It would have been ten times worst without that machine. I also know what ever car I get from this point on will have four-wheel drive. I need it for just in case.

My aunt didn’t get her car out last storm. Now this one the guy she called said he couldn’t help, because the last storm snow would have been ice. The guy she use to use would use a shovel. No one is moving this shit with a shovel if they can help it. Well that guy was sick and in the hospital so he wasn’t even an option.

She yelled at me on the phone and I was just trying to help. I called her son pissed off and told him about his mother. I told him to call her right now. She is too old to be out there shovel. What did I think he would do from Virginia. Not sure I wanted him to be on my side and put her butt into action to find someone on the phone.

Well he got to texting his friends. One of his friends was going to come over in the morning and dig her out with a shovel. Then another friend had a company he used. Well she ended up using the company. They came over did everything for 60 bucks. She said they were professional and nice. All this from her getting an attitude with me. Me bitching to her son. Her son getting into action in another state. God works in mysterious ways. I know the next time I get to a ATM I am getting some money to leave in the house. Just in case we ever need to use them. I told my mother to call them and ask if I can put their information on Facebook. I know other people could use their services.

I picked the worst time to start a job. We will see what happens on Tuesday. I am hoping the driving situation is a whole lot better. God thank you for your helping hand today!!! Shit I need to say thanks a whole lot more often than I do!!!

2nd week of work!!

Another Monday and I might be at home again. The storm is bringing more damn snow. I can’t not wait until the spring. There is no place to put this snow. I have a work laptop. My boss sent me a text message and stated she wanted me to answer emails. Also not to get behind. I am not sure what I would get behind with. I have been there four days and honestly have no idea what comes next.

I am tired beyond belief and still need to make bottles. I should have did it earlier, but I didn’t feel like washing dishes first. I know a lazy ass answer, but it is the truth. My mother is cleaning the kitchen right now. Instead of going to sleep which my eyes are barely staying open. I have to put Ava in the Pack N Play and make sure she has something to eat.

I feel like I could sleep for a week. I did a budget and I see myself out of debt by April 2016. If I stick to the course of action. I am a planner. This a action I wanted to take for years.

First week of work!!

I picked the worst of the year to take my ass to work. Snow storms, blizzards and freezing ass cold wind chills. This is crazy as hell. Yesterday my feet felt like ice pops. I was watching the news and they said it was going to be 12 below. I couldn’t take public the MBTA to work. Public transportation was crap. Delays and crowds. I couldn’t do it. I woke up and knew I wasn’t going to make it to work in the crazy cold. I got all the ice off the car and drove to work. I used my GPS because my cell phone seems to lose while driving. I really need a new cell phone. I have a Samsung S3. That has been acting crazy. I want to upgrade, but I refuse to get the Samsung S5 when I know the S6 will be coming.Then they are going to be giving the S5 for free.

I missed my baby so much. I cried in my work bathroom. The first day he missed me to. By the second and third day she was over it. Nana and her Ava were fine and in a routine. That is right Nana got her on a schedule in three days that I couldn’t get done in nine months.

I wake her up at 5am. She is usually in the bed with me. So when I turn on the light she starts rubbing her eyes and waking up. I change her diaper and put her in the pack n play. I go make breakfast and a bottle. After She finish the bottle I put her in her high chair that is in my room and she plays and watches the sprout network. After I leave my mother feeds her breakfast at 7:30am Cereal and baby food fruit. Then at 8:30-9:00am she goes to sleep for an hour and half. My mother said she is not getting played anymore. She let her cry herself to sleep on the second day. After that she goes to sleep on her own. Then she feeds her a bottle and later lunch (two baby foods) and she falls asleep again for a hour and half somewhere in the afternoon. By five she is feeding her dinner(Two Baby Foods) Now she is asleep and it I 9:30. Now my mother demands I commit to the schedule on non work days. I want to sleep in tomorrow. I guess I can try. She did put in the work. I know she is enjoying staying home with her granddaughter. So I love that she loves it.

Working mother!!

Ok my day started with commuter rail not coming. They send a bus to get us to the station. My hands frezzing. Thank god for hand warmers. I am about to buy stock in that company. Half way to work and I got a call there was a delay until noon. Thank god someone let me in the building.

I got myself together in the bathroom. Found out I have a laptop they want me to take home on a regular basis to do work. Not that we get to work from home one day a week or anything. That would be to good to be true. No, it is to do work that you couldn’t get done. I don’t know I am going to hang with that mess. At least I wont be staying late. They also do not have flex time either. It’s a paycheck and I am grateful.

Even thought I would rather be rich, I am grateful. With bringing my laptop home there will not be much staying late for me. I also need to do a lot on the weekend. Make my lunches for the week. Get my clothes ready for the week. I didn’t have much time with my baby with all the things I had to do. I swear if I didn’t have debt I would have a part time job right now.

I can’t cry over spilled milk. It won’t stop the bills coming in the mail.

Postponed start date!

I was supposed to start work today. Due to the snow my new boss contacted me yesterday to say it would be better if I start on Tuesday because of the weather. My mother asked if they are going to pay me. I doubt it due to not even filling out a W-2 yet. It would be nice if they did.

I got my hair done yesterday. It took forever and a day. I had to go to the grocery store. My mother was annoyed when I called her. She didn’t plan on watching the baby all day. I didn’t say anything and thought to myself she is crazy. She is the one who wanted me to get my hair done. hair done

I bought a scratch ticket in hopes to win so I can move out and get a nanny. When I got home my mom pretty much apologized and she was in a bad mood. Which had nothing to do with me. I went from 0-100 in my mind and it really wasn’t that serious. I really need to calm the hell down. I also haven’t had to shovel, my mother has done everything. I am blessed in so many ways but can be so short tempered myself. My lazy ass would rather pay someone then do shovel myself. I am not the manual labor type. But you got to do what you got to do.

I been online and a few men are interested in me. I really have no idea when I am going to fit that in. I am going to have to work on her god mother babysitting. My mother kept her part time job on Saturdays. So it might be possible I can meet these men for some coffee on a Saturday afternoon.

I still miss my own place. When you been on your own it is freaking hard to go back home. It is all for a reason or many reason. I need to stop complaining. Life is good. I got a job right on time. My child is healthy. She doesn’t have to go to daycare. Things are damn good, why do I always find a reason to complain. I really need to work on that.