So damn tired!!

I am so tired I don’t know how I am thinking straight. Ava is feeling a lot better. This rash on her face keeps coming and going. She has a doctors appointment on Monday. I have a list of questions to ask. I been leaving work at five pm when everyone else is staying late. I get to work an hour and half early every day. I rather do my overtime in the morning. The job is okay but I can’t help but think it isn’t what I want to do with the rest of my life.

My cousin said I should fly back to Atlanta to make baby number two. Even if that was possible I think we would be looking for a different sperm donor. I don’t care that my children have different donors. It would be nice to be full sibling but not a requirement for me.

I have so many project I have no energy to do at the moment. I did let a stranger in on Ava inception and my single mother by choice status. She opened up and I opened back. I want to be a resource to women who feel alone. She said she was suffering in silence and I was the first person she met who had a baby on her own.

I told her a few things to get her started if she wanted. I am not pressuring anyone. It is hard to do it alone you really need to be committed. I have no complaints today other then I still dream about the lottery. If money came into my life I would be working on baby #2. Right now I am happy with my little Diva Ava!!!


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