Can’t stop eating!@#@ WTF

I left my weight loss program. Due to timing and not having a  baby sister that doesn’t complain. Yes I am talking about my mother. I have been eating my ass off.

I am officially 207.5. Which pisses me off. The funny thing is when I got pregnant I was 216. I am officially under my pre pregnancy weight. I was 195 at one point. Which makes a tremendous difference in clothes.

My daughter will be one tomorrow. I can not believe this time flew like this. I am not happy with my life, but happy with my child. If that makes since. I eat over my feeling and I have a whole of that lately.

I have have ass gotten this party together. I left work early today to get party favors for the few kids that will be there. I am not really decorating. My aunt bought the cake and balloons. I am buying each person one soda each. They do not have refills at this place. So I am going to order five pizza and some fries. We have the backroom. I am going to try and take pictures and video portions of the event.

I wish there was a non addictive happy pill. With all the smart people in the world. Can we come up with that. All this and I want another baby. I always wanted more then one. Granted I love that she is out of the infant stage. I hated be pregnant and giving birth. I still want more then one. I don’t know how I am going to work that out. I am going to have to pray for strength in a lot of things. Food and overeating. Being tired and lazy. More lazy then tired. Trying to find my niche in the world. Having another baby. God does listen to me. I need to work on my relationship. With my belief system. I have gotten a lot of things I wanted. Two years ago I was crying about getting pregnant. Now I am celebrating my daughters first birthday. If that isn’t god I don’t know what is.

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