I was talking to a friend. She turned her life upside down to live her dream. In school to be a therapist. She read me up and down. Which I guess is easier since I am not a patient she is trying to pry information out of. I am a friend that she knows my deep dark secrets.
She said I need to start living my life with no regrets. I would have to agree. I been regretting moving here instead of making the best of it. It is hard to deal with my families personalities. They are high drama. I am highly sensitive to there drama which makes it ten times worse. I don’t think I am making it better. I think I am adding gasoline to the fire with my responses.
I am also sick of the unsolicited advice from people. About my life and my daughter. Do you ever feel like you want to complain with no solutions presented to you. Meaning my complaints always come with some B.S. answer from someone else. My life is mine to live. I hate when folks act like they have all the answers for my life. Now granted my friend who is going to be a therapist gave me things to think about to improve my life. Not like the other person which is total judgement. There is a big difference. I know now not to complain to this person.
Things has there ups and downs. Are they perfect right now. Hell no!! They are livable. They are not comfortable. I cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater. I can’t make rash decisions based off my feelings. I have a child to think of.
I have my confidants. The women who understand me and get me. There advice is always the nourishment I need and value. I need to continue to talk to them.
Not to say this person is not a good person she is. We are not on the same page and a lot of times do not see things the same way. Which is totally fine. When she thinks she is helping her approach rubs me the wrong way. I might be sensitive which could totally be the case. I am going to have to come to a happy medium. I hope it comes soon. I do not need any more stress in my life.
So the plumber is still around. Well he thinks he is. With his random calls. I am so over this dude and his issues. I would love to meet someone interested in me. Who I can date without complications. It would be a great distraction. I am going to get on my knees and pray for that.
Today i am getting myself together. No more excuses. I am going to get my budget together. I am going to work on me, and what I need to do. My procrastination is hurting my progress in life. There is more to life then going to work and coming home.
I gained ten pounds in a month. I been eating my ass off. My mother is not helping. She wants me to be thin, but everyday she is has the statement. What are you going to eat. I will say something in the house. Well lets order out. This has turned into a very bad habit. Also eating garbage on the way home. I am not sure how all this has happened. I do have an idea. It creeps up on you.
Any who I am trying to decided if I should look for another job. I have only been here four months. The benefits are horrible. I have never had benefits this bad in my entire history of working. Looking for a new job is so stressful. I am really not in the mood to put the effort in. I have to buy that book about changing my career.
Ava has been sick with an ear infection. She had a fever for two and half days. After the Tylenol wasn’t’ doing it. I took her in. It took two days of penicillin and now she is back to normal. I have to give it to her for eight more days. It is hard to say a baby sick.
I been getting a little concerned because she doesn’t say any words. I need to stop comparing her to other babies. It is hard not to. I love my little munchkin. So if she is behind I am all good with that. She is perfect to me.
We went to the Franklin Park Zoo. It was a lot of fun for me. Ava enjoyed the traveling around the park. It was a great weekend of adventures and not sitting in the house. My workload has been calming down. Even though I am not in love with the job. Less stress for the moment does feel good.
On the dating front the Indian dude is out. He talked about sex and it has been less then a week. Not my cup of tea. So he got kicked to the curb quickly. I finally cleaned up my room. Waiting for my mother to finish panting so we can get the house totally ready for a toddler.
My mother is the worst painter in the world. I can’t tell her that. It is her house. So whatever she wants to do, I don’t care. I still want to live alone. I am keeping it in my prayers. I need to dig myself out of this debt. Which I am doing slowly. I have only been working for five months. Why do I have no patients!!!!!
It wasn’t horrible. I was covering someones work and had to work for this crazy manager. That has come to an end. I was doing a dance. I took a moment of silence for the people who has to work under his annoying ass. I thank god I don’t have to deal with him anymore.
This Indian guy has hit me up online. I noticed Indian men are very persistent. Which is nice and annoying at the same time. I told him I would try and meet him next weekend. We will see how it goes. Hopefully get coffee in the mall.
I have four scratch tickets I haven’t scratched yet. I feel like the thrill is in the fantasy of what if. I know I am crazy and could be sitting on a bunch of money. Wouldn’t that be nice.
My baby has the biggest smile when I get home. My heart melts for this little girl. I so want another baby so she can have a sibling. I am an only child. My cousin was my brother and I love him to death. I hated pregnancy and giving birth. I actually love that she is more independent. But I want her to have a sister. If it is a boy that is fine to. Another girl would be my choice.
I will be working on my resume this weekend. I also need to order the book suggested by someone on here. To how to change my career. I need to get on that also.
A lot on my to do list. I need to get off my lazy ass and do it!!! Like Nike say JUST DO IT!!!
I usually don’t complain. Who the hell cares about my complaints. I thought I would share here.. I hate what I do for a living. It is a paycheck. Which I really appreciate. I am shocked I have done this mind numbing bullshit for all these years. If I could have a do over. I would have choose something else to do with my life.
I love my child but it is hard to find things a one year old who is not really walking to do. I was thinking the zoo tomorrow. Then my mother told me it was going to rain. Maybe Sunday.
I am so tired I feel like I am going to pass out. My mother, Ava and I went to BJ’s and Ava and I went to the regular grocery store after work today. So we can free up some weekend time. I literally feel like I could sleep for a year. I never feel totally rested.
I am getting fat. I left my program and been eating my ass off ever since. I want to give a sincere effort to doing it on my own. But I been starting tomorrow for about three weeks.
I need some sex in my life. The stress relief and being desired would help a whole lot in my world. I haven’t heard from the plumber in weeks. Not sure what is going on with him. I am not sure I am ready to stick my toe in the dating world.
My ex got married. I want people to be happy. But why the hell, do I always seem to find out when my ex’s get married. Granted if I gave him a chance I probably could have been his wife. Not sure if that was in the cards. There is a long story there. That had to do with Lying. I think that says it all.
I can’t find my ex boyfriend from college. I am dying to know what is up with him. I have no idea how to get in touch with him. People don’t use home phones any more. His email address is getting no response and he deleted his page on Facebook. I might be shit out of luck.
I hate Boston. The small closets, tight streets congested everywhere. I missed my family and I am getting my fill of them too.
I know I am complaining which I had to get it off my chest. There is a lot of good in my life also. It is hard to stay focused on it sometimes.