Do I think I am Beautiful!!

The answer is no. I do not find myself attractive. This is what happened. I was sent to the grocery store by my mother. I saw my neighbor in the store and said hello and kept on with my shopping.

Well this past weekend, my mother said she ran into the neighbor and he told her, he found me completely beautiful. I gave her a look, and she asked me You don’t think you are beautiful. I said no.

Now those feelings go way back. From growing up the obese kid. The you have such a pretty face. I wanted a ass way before Kim Kardasian. My ass is more flat and wide.

I think I am alright looking. I don’t think I am ugly per-say, but I would never use the word beautiful. Others have found me attractive then I have found myself. How do you fix self esteem. I am sure most women would want to know that answers.

So this lead to a lecture by the man I am dating. How I should find myself beautiful blah blah blah. Why do men think things can be fixed like turning on a light. I hate being lectured. It isn’t productive.

I feel better about myself when I am smaller for sure. I am 50 pounds over my idea weight. A weight I was very comfortable at for years. I have to admit it is hard to get back there. Life has a lot going on. I know getting my weight together should be a priority. I am working on it!!!!

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