Addicted to Food!!!

WTF, why can’t I stop eating. I say this knowing the exact answer. My face and stomach is getting bigger. I know I need to stop eating and exercise. I remember talking to this lady about weight loss. She said it is very easy eat less exercise more.

Today was my Office Christmas Party. I ate so much I feel they should have rolled me out of the office. I talked to Dave and he said he would come over and watch Ava so I could get on the Treadmill. Yes, I have a treadmill in my house. After my mom watches Ava all day, she is done. So it would be nice if he could come over and do that. He works for himself so I am not sure how consistent he will be. I will take whatever he can do.

I know I need my program. I have no time for it. I know I am not being the best Mom I can be with all this weight.

Things are good in my life. I really have no complaints except chronic fatigue. I am also stressed with Ava not talking. I am trying to handle it one day at a time. My mind wonders to what did I do wrong. How did I hurt my baby. I know it isn’t rational. I move it out of my brain quickly. I have set up a hearing test, and a delay doctor test.

Tonight is my late night. Of course Ava had a late nap, and is sitting up in her crib, like you know I am not tired. I on the other hand feel like I am about to collapse. I need a shower, find out what outfit is not to tight for tomorrow.

Her speech therapist will be here tomorrow. Granted her first meeting she was so sick and not interested. I am praying for a better experience. For me and her. I am paying attention to what she does. So I can repeat it when she is not around.

One more day until the weekend. Waiting for that, I need a nap in a major way.

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