My baby can hear!!!

Ava had her hearing test today. It is so interesting how they conduct that test on a toddler. They have sounds and spinning Disney characters. We discovered Ava and I can hear. Nana is going deaf. She said I can’t hear anything. Over the year and half I been home, I can tell my mother is getting to be hard of hearing.

All Ava’s test came back normal. I talked to the guy giving the test. I asked him do he diagnose a lot of babies with hearing issues. He said yes, he had to fit a two month old with hearing aids. OMG, Thank you my baby can hear. I can’t imagine what those parents go through. He said he is seeing a lot more of hearing issues with babies. With modern medicine a lot of preemies babies are living that would have died in the past. They can have a lot of issues such as hearing and site.

My new boss started this week. Can I tell you this woman is gorgeous. I seen her and my mouth fell open. I told my co-worker, who hadn’t met her yet. When she met her, she said she is beautiful. She is really nice and sweet and has given us a bunch a compliments. I hope work stays so effortless. She also told me she thought I was 10 years younger then what I am. You know I was smiling. I look a lot younger then that when I lose weight. I digress on that issue. I am a food addict, plan and simple!!!



I am so happy it is Friday. Even though I had Monday off, it felt like the longest week ever. I am in my room while Ava does her intervention. When I am in the room I feel she is distracted and the instructor and I do to much talking. I jump in late in the hour to get any information I need.

Life has been pretty dry. Still working on the weight loss which I feel will be a lifetime battle. I was talking to my cousin and she said she felt happy in the Gym. I have to say I am jealous, I wish I had an outlet. The Gym was never my thing.

I can see how depression can set in. Single motherhood can be very isolating. I am not the extrovert. I did have my own little circle. Which are in Georgia and I don’t have a circle here. I miss them so much. I do not regret anything I have done to date. All the ups and downs I am going through. Emotionally, physically and spiritually are worth it to see my daughters face everyday.

I am addicted to that little girl being in my life. She brightens my day. Even when I am frustrated and she won’t go to bed.

I want another one. Sometimes I feel if I say it enough it will happen. LOL If I had infinite amounts of money I would be working on it right now. Granted I don’t have it in me to do this alone again. You really get no break at all. I go to work then come home and it mommy time. There is no time off for mommy. Where as my friend can give her kid to her husband and head out the door. Feeling no guilt. Where that is not the case for me at all. #MOMMYPROBLEMS.

Weight loss struggles

I am having a hard time keeping to my low carb high fat diet. I am addicted to food. Especially high carb food. I find myself having a few binge session. The beautiful thing is I can always start again. Which is what begins tomorrow. I am supposed to go to a five year old birthday party tomorrow. Is it bad that I don’t want to go. I am not in the mood. I am tired and really have to go. I missed her other child’s birthday party. I will go and stay a few hours.

I am going to enjoy this long weekend. I have Monday off for MLK day. Which I have had many jobs where I didn’t get that day off. I would say I could sleep in. LOL My child will not let that happen. I am going to try my best to get some rest. #Mommyproblems.

Tired as hell!!

Okay, I can not figure out what makes my daughter wake up in the middle of the night. What makes her sleep through the night. If I new the formula you know I would be on it like I was getting paid. My payment being sleep.

I have been in the powerball crazy like everyone else. My aunt told me she wouldn’t want all that money. I told her she is alone in that thought. Granted I don’t necessarily need that large sum of money. I sure wouldn’t turn it away if it came my way.

My youth seems to be passing me by. David Bowie died. I can’t believe he is gone. Granted I haven’t thought about him in years. I can remember watching his video’s on MTV. My music is officially old school music. When did that happen. These kids are so so young.

I have no complaints except lack of sleep. Things are good and I am appreciating it today!!!

Living life!!!

WHY do I like a man that frustrates the hell out of me. Or is that his job. He sure acts like he is getting paid.
Today is Ava speech therapy.  We are finally getting back to it now that the holidays are over. I know the results are not going to be instant. But I can keep hope alive. My mom is still not convinced we need all this. I feel we definitely do need it. It is also free, I have no reason to turn it down. All I see Are benefits in the long run.
I like my new job. Which is a blessing.  I have been in many situations where I couldn’t say that. The things we have to put up with to pay our bills. 
I am trying to figure out the formula for this low carb high fat diet.
Ok one version says count your calories. The other says you don’t have to. You can have almond as a snack in moderation. I took those almonds to the teenth power. Clearly no moderation for me. I messed up a few times. So starting again today.
I will go grocery shopping tonight.  Between the diet doctor website, the insulin resistance book and youtube. I think I have a good grocery list.
I also need to stop being the lazy ass I am and log my food. Myfitnesspal works and very simple. My laziness knows no bound. I did get on the treadmill on Tuesday for 15 minutes. That all my out of shape ass could take. Then Wednesday Dave and I went to pick up a freezer from my father. Thursday my late day at work. So two days no treadmill. My plan is to get on it today. As I said plan. I have the plan I need action steps.

Paper Horder

I have papers everywhere. I need to really get it together. I decided once my busy bee goes to bed I will work on it. She is not the one to give me time to do much. As I am typing this she is playing with the mouse. I bought this child all these toys and most of the time she could careless about them.

I took my before pictures. I wanted to see the big difference when I hit my goal. I looked at those pictures in disgust. I know you are supposed to love the skin you are in. But come on, I am not feeling mine. Just being honest. My weight is fluctuating on that scale. So I am going to weight myself once a month.
I can get addicted to a scale in a minute. Which I feel is not healthy at all. I also need to keep logging my food. Which I have I am still very lazy about it. All these things will help my success. I need to stop being lazy. I am also very tired. I am going to make a doctor’s appointment soon and see what I can do about it.

Five pounds down!!

I am praying this is not a fluke. I am nervous to claim the results. It has been less then a week. I have been doing the Low Carb, High Fat diet. Five pound weight loss.

This way of life goes against every diet book I have taken and read. Also the program I was in for a lot of years. I bought a new scale and will be doing updates once a week. I was also going to make video’s about it on my YouTube channel. Which I would have done today. If my child didn’t wake up at 4am. I have been off all day. It is 11pm and I have several things I need to accomplish.

Of course we played the power ball. How can you resist 300+ million dollars. I tried to fantasize with my mother about what we would do with the winnings. Of course she says win the money first. Does she not understand the fun part of playing. The fantasy part is my thing. Of course I do feel a big win is in my future. Do I need 300 million dollars. NO!! Would I turn it away if I won it. Hell no!! I would give a good amount away.

So we will see tomorrow what state won. Or does it rollover to the next time. Ava acted a fool in the mall today. Cried from the moment we got there to the moment we left. I felt she was tired, with us being off schedule. I had to go to Stride Rite to get her foot measured. I realized she had been wearing those shoes for a long time. They were not as easy to get on as they use to be. So of course she needs new ones. I ordered them. She will have them sometime next week. It wasn’t an emergency being she doesn’t really the house much during the week.

Today was a good day. Not much going on, and I am thankful for no snow. If you were in Boston last year during the blizzard you would totally understand that statement.