Yes I can’t believe it. Then I can believe it. I don’t want to believe it. I am so big. I am trying again. I feel like is the bullshit I tell myself over and over again. It is so hard not to eat my feelings. I don’t drink, I no longer smokes, I don’t do drugs. I do gamble. Food is my thing. I eat for no reason. Or a bunch of reason I tell myself. The man bought me a FITBIT which I half use. I have a new plan to start again. Please pray for me. I need to get this weight off and get my SEXY BACK!!!. That fighting weight I enjoyed. I looked super hot at a size 8. A size 16 isn’t horrible but not where I feel at my best.