Two Year old!!

My baby girl is about to be two in a month. I can’t believe how much time has passed. I also can’t believe I been in Boston this long. She has got the terrible two’s in the worst way. When she is done with anything she throws it on the floor. Nana feels she can do no wrong. She is spoiled beyond belief. I spent almost 300 bucks on shoes, clothes, pajamas, toys and books for her birthday.

I am not going to through a party this year. I am not up for that stress. Not to be funny she doesn’t have friends. I am her best friend. When she is 3 and a half, I will be putting her in preschool. Her birthday is so late she will be 3 and half before she starts. I am not wishing time away, but I can’t wait until she goes to school. I think it is so cute when you see the first day pictures on Facebook. I will have to have her school clothes ready. I can’t wait to hear about what she learns and does at school.

Right now I am enjoying my baby. God blessed me with this child. I was so depressed that I would never be a mother. I had to go to a therapist because I thought it wouldn’t happen. She is my light and my breath.

I want her to have everything and do everything her heart desires. I feel prayer brought her to me and prayer will make all mine and her dreams come true.

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Two in a Million TLC TV show!!

I turned onto this show by accident. I never saw a commercial, I was flipping the channel. I swear I cried so much in one hour. These two boys had a disease called Schwartz Jampel syndrome type 1. They lived in different countries. The disease is so rare they know no one like them. The boy in the UK came to the U.S. to meet his new BFF. OMG it really made me think of how blessed I am. I swear I felt for these boys, I felt for there parents. It was hard all the way around.

When you think life is hard. I can think of how this 7 and 9 year old live there life every day. To have no one like themselves. Have to struggle through crazy surgeries. They didn’t say it, but I had a feeling these children were not going to live long.

The parents bonded as much as the children. They felt a bond of dealing with the same situations. The pain they felt for there children, and what they had to go through. It was such a great show. It pulled on the heart strings. In the end you were happy these boys found each other. TLC made it possible, I commend them. There is not that many reality show that I feel do great things. Thank you TLC for your contribution.

Lazy Mom!

Supermom will never be my title. I wish I could put myself in that category. There are many things I wish I could do better. I know I am being hard on myself. So this morning Ava woke up at her usual 5:30am. With it being Saturday. We weren’t going anywhere until after her afternoon nap. I turned on the TV to her shows and laid in the bed while she tumbled over my head until 8am. Which is an hour after her usual breakfast time.

Then my mother woke up and said you can have a nap. There is a god I thought. It took me a half an hour to fall asleep. That hour and a half went so quick. My mother works on Saturdays. She dropped Ava in my bed and said here you go. I did the same-thing, turned on the TV and got another hour of her bouncing on me kicking me and other cruel things she can do to her mom, while she watches her shows. I got up about 12:30pm to give her lunch. Also late. I made something quick and Ava wasn’t having it she tried to throw all the food on the floor. She is crying and I am yelling. It struck me, she is tired her nap is usually at 11:30am. Even thought I been sleep she has been up since 5:30am.

This is truly not one of my best Mommy moments. I am sure I will have more. The reason I am tired is because earlier this week. She woke up in the middle of the night and thought we were having a party and wanted to play. I haven’t been able to catch up from that. Then last night, she had a night terror. Screaming in her sleep. I am glad I been through that before with her or I would be terrified. Your kids is screaming from the top of her lungs. It is almost like a monster is chasing her or something. The whole time her eyes are closed and she is sleep. I pat her back until she calms down. Well that was at 3am last night. So yes we have sleeping issues in this house.

Then my mother is cleaning all the time. She has some OCD issues about cleaning. I am actually not complaining. Who doesn’t like a clean house. She will be up several nights a week cleaning. This house is not that messy WTF. Hey it is her thing, I am going to leave it alone. I use to clean once a week. To much going on during the week to clean. There are Pros and Cons from living at home with my mom. The nap is one of the biggest pros in the world. I need that extra sleep.One of my internet friends in the sisterhood lost her mother. I was so heart broken for her. I love my mom so much. Even thought we have had issues over the years I don’t want her to go anywhere. I feel for her in such a big way. I am praying for her in a big way. I was lazy before I was a mom. Now being a mom, I miss my lazy freedom.

Two years old!!!

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I can’t believe it.  She is my breath that gives me life

.  She gave me purposes and laughter.  She has brought our family closer. Having this child was the best decision of my life.  Even with our present and future struggles god has blessed me to be her mommy.

The plan!

The man and I have a plan to live together. The sooner the better in my mind. With all the bitching I do about my mom. I could be going into the gates of hell living with The Man. We argue and pretty much don’t agree on much. Which I know sounds crazy. Also living with someone can be the demise of a relationship.

As long as I can get him on my program. I think we will be fine. My mother literally cleans everyday. That is because she is home with Ava everyday. Growing up that is not how this house was run at all. There was five of us here. We were all coming and going all week. We would clean on Saturday’s. Everyone had a job to do. My lazy butt in my adulthood translated that Saturday’s to Sunday’s. I clean and do all the laundry to be ready for the next week.

It worked for me. I like going into the week with a clean house. There is no time to do that everyday. Also growing my up my Nana had a rule, no one is allowed to visit unless the house is clean. I totally agree, and carried that rule to my adulthood. Now with not cleaning all week. If someone was coming over on a Wed for what ever reason. I can get my house looking decent in 30 minutes. To get a perspective of how bad I let the house get.

The issues with The Man, I will be doing a lot. He works for himself and is always on his hustle. If I can get this fatigue crap out of my life I know I can handle it. This plan also includes the second baby. With Ava issues I now am totally on board to giving birth again. I have a friend going through the same thing with her child. She had two kids. Her husband stated that they should have more kids just in case there daughter needs a lot of help as an adult. I am praying that, is not the case for my daughter. I would be lying if I wasn’t  a big factor of me having a second baby. We are in the beginning stages of what she is going through and hopefully we can reverse it.  I know I am being cryptic, I am not ready to put it out there.  I might never explain or maybe I will change my mind. I am keeping it close to the vest with only a few close friends and family know the whole situation. I need to make lemonade our or my lemons.