Big two year old!

We had the two year old doctors appointment. I love this doctor. She is very caring and understanding. Of course I came with all my questions. Basically Ava is in good health. She told me about other children she dealt with that weren’t talking at two. They are now talking at three. I am praying for my little late talker to start using some words.

So Ava is in the 95% for height and 85% for weight. So she told me she is as tall as a three year old. I thought lord have mercy she will will be the tallest kid in the class like her mother. Her donor was 6’2 and I am six foot. I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything different. I have a big baby.

She had an ear infection which I went to urgent care last week so she was already taking the pink stuff. No shots this time, but she had to give blood. I am so glad I upgraded to this new clinic. It took this man a few seconds to find her vein. Not like the other man I had to cuss out for digging in my child’s hand looking for a vein. We had a great doctors appointment and the therapist she is working with say she is doing great. One day at a time, I want my daughter to live all her dreams. I was talking to someone else and they confirmed I am doing all the right things. Sometimes I have no idea if I am doing enough. Single working mothers guilt. She is a happy toddler so if that means anything we are doing great.


Found an EX on Facebook!

I hesitated to look up this name on Facebook. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see how he was doing. If I had another Ex married I would have to admit I would be a little crushed. I will begin with the story of how I met this man.

We will call him Bobby to protect his identify. I had just came back from visiting Atlanta. I had an email me in my inbox from a guy online. He happened to be in Atlanta. I was thinking damn I just left. I am not going back anytime soon. I was saving up to move but that wasn’t going to be for a year.

I started talking to this guy on the phone. Telephone love was real strong and I was into it. He said everything I wanted to hear and I was falling for every word. These calls were not free it was at a time when long distance cost.

I set up a trip to the ATL. Purely for this man. I stayed in a hotel instead of with my family, because I wanted some privacy with my new man. I rented a car and was off. Well his ass came over we had sex and he disappeared. I called he wouldn’t answer the phone. I called from a pay phone he answered said some bullshit and hung up on me. I being young and lonely in a hotel room started that nasty cry and eventually called a friend in Boston. She built me back up and said don’t let him win and go and have fun.

I called a girl I went to college with that I knew had moved to Atlanta. I dusted myself off got dressed and went out with her and her friends. I didn’t get back to five am in the next day. I was supposed to be leaving the room and it wasn’t the best motel. Actually Asshole pick it out which I will call him, because at this stage of my life I forgot his name completely. It was close to him that is why he picked the place.

I went to the office to pay for an additional day. I was supposed to hang at six flags with my family, but I was so tired that was not going to happen. I run to the office. I looked a hot mess hadn’t even washed my face or brushed my teeth.

I walk in the office. The guy was behind the desk and he was talking to another guy. So the guy behind the desk was hitting on me. I decided to work a discount since he clearly liked me. He gave me a little discount. The other guy was staring also. Here comes Bobby. Bobby wasn’t your standard handsome. Bobby had a thug boy kind of swag. I was feeling it. He asked me if I had eaten breakfast. I just dragged my ass out of bed about ten minutes before. He asked if he could buy me breakfast. I was down. I drove myself trying to be safe. Not even thinking I flew to another state to see a possible serial killer.

I went back to my room brushed my teeth and got myself together. We went to breakfast and hung out the whole day. I drove his car, which was a stick, we went shopping and he went with me to drop my car off at the airport and said bye to me at the gate. He said he would visit me in Boston. I thought it was bullshit.

To my surprised he did visit. I really didn’t believe it until he was at Logan international airport when I picked him up. We had a ball. We went to place in Boston. At the time my family had a summer home on Cape Cod. We spent a night there. This was a fun filled weekend. I was in love. Now I had plans to move in with him when I got to Atlanta.

Bobby backstory. He was in construction and traveled for work. He was staying in that hotel for work but was originally from another state in the south. So he was supposed to get an apartment and when I moved to Atlanta we would be together.

When he left Boston everything was good for a few months. Then a month before I was about to leave I couldn’t find him. Yet he got ghost, I had no idea what happened. I went back to plan A moved to Atlanta and in with my cousin. A year later, I got a letter from prison. I still to this day  have no idea what he got locked up for. He has sense been out and moved back home to where he was from. We have communicated on and off for 15 years more off then on. Just writing this I realize how crazy my life was. I have many more crazy stories.

Oh can you believe Asshole hit me up online three years later, not realizing who I was. When I realized  who he was I almost fell out. Life is stranger then fiction.


Library Fail

I finally got my tired ass out of the bed. I work up and got us both dressed and went to blocks at the Library. Saturday is the day my mom will watch her for a few hours and I can get a nap. A nap I have come to worship. What the hell am I going to do if I have a second baby. I am going to have and wait and see on that. More and more coffee I guess. Ava is doing so much better with the stairs. Other then getting distracted half way up and wanting to do something else. I notices she has more of an issue with our stairs because they are steep and narrow. She did great going up the library stairs. I was so tired I had her shoes on the wrong feet. I know, I know my ass is always so sleepy. I just drank some coffee to start working on my projects and it is 10:30pm. I know I am going to suffer tomorrow, but I will feel like I accomplished something.

So I correct her shoes before I go in there embarrassed. The place is empty. WTF, I woke up and didn’t get my nap and there is one kid here. I asked the librarian how many kids usually show up. She says 25-30 usually but it is a nice day so they probably all went to the park. She had a nasty tone while she was explaining this. So we played with the blocks for about an hour. She had a blowout diaper which I had to handle in the bathroom. When you have a toddler she makes nothing easy. Got her cleaned up and it was time to go home. She can make a mess at home with no kids.

The whole point was to get her around children. Clearly this is not the happening place. They had a lot of stuff, but I wasn’t into the toys. I wanted her to have more social interaction. Since we were out early we hit up the grocery store and came home. The man came over and we hung out. Ava woke up with gas pains and he handled it. Which she cried until she farted and burped then she was good to go. I fell asleep on his lap while I got a back rub.It is the little things that matters to me. That back rub was like he brought me over a dozen roses. Ava was jealous and wanted me to rub her shoulders. Then she wanted to lay on me. I think she was feeling left out. She wanted him to know she is number one. Which she is, but mama needs some attention sometimes.

Beyonce Formation

I am not a big Beyonce fan. I am actually not a fan at all. I respect that she is great at what she does. I do not own any of her music. Except for now. I have been watching her 2016 Superbowl half time show with Bruno Mars. I love watching great dance routines.

After watching it over and over again. I put the Formation song on my phone. I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it This lyric keeps sticking in my head. I have many dreams, I need to grind and own it.  I need to embrace this everyday. There is so many things I want to do. I know there seems to be a lot of things in my way. One of the biggest things in my way is myself. I have to prioritize my goals. Which goes with prioritizing my sleep. With a toddler that doesn’t want to sleep through the night and wants to party at 2am. It is hard to get the sleep I need.

I wish I could sleep an entire weekend. I have many years before that will ever be possible again. One of my goals is keeping this blog up to date. Meaning not neglect it for months. Which seemed to be happening a lot. Thank you to all of you who have kept up with this blog and been there for me in prayer. I am praying for all of you and what you desire out of life.