Well I figured out Ava is very sensitive to sugar. It wakes her up in the middle of the night like she wants to go dancing. Well Nana aka my mother doesn’t want to follow my rules. She said she is fine and gave Ava her favorite Yogurt. Which is her calcium but has to much sugar in it for the evening. We had a little screaming match. She always give me an answer like I heard you but I am not doing a damn thing you say.
Ok, fine I yelled she wakes up up I am bringing her to you. You do that anyways she said. Which I do, but only when I have to work the next day. This was Friday night. Like clock work I heard little feet heading to my bed. What time was it you ask, 3AM. I brought her ass right to my mom’s room. Then went the hell back to bed.
By eight in the morning she dropped Ava back off to me. When I talked to her later, she said she won’t do that again. I thought I hope the fuck not.
I schedule out my blog so this might be a little old to the actual date written. I am hoping by the time this post I will make some substantial difference in my weight. I reached a weight I couldn’t believe.
Today I started again. I have said this over and over, but I made it to the end of the day. I stayed below my calorie count. I even worked out to Hip Hop abs with my daughter. We are going to have to work out together.
She kept dragging out toys in the living room as I am bouncing around. I had to take a break to change a diaper. I re-winded the tape I didn’t cheat.I made it through the end of the night and I want to binge. I am sipping on a diet Ginger ale. Eventually I will get rid of the sodas. For tonight this soda is preventing me from going to the kitchen to look for a snack.
I want to lose 50 by birthday, 80 pounds in total. That is my long term goal. Right now I am working on going to sleep with nothing extra to eat. Pray for me. Hopefully by the time you read this I will be down ten pounds. I want to see the scale going down instead of up.
I joined a dating site for single parents. I should have vetted this site more before putting down my credit card. The lack of time in my life I didn’t do enough research. Then I signed up for six months for a better deal like an idiot. One month should have been it. Every guy on there looks crazy. Some look like they are on drugs. I have never been on a site with so many undesirables in my life. That is including Plenty of Fish. I canceled immediately I would be totally rip shit if they renewed this shit ass site on me and I wasn’t paying attention. So I have to suck up the six months. I am going to try and give it a chance. I have a six months to so that.
I wanted a man with kids. So he can understand my plight. I am not the pickiest person but damn, who the hell are these dudes. I read the profiles like hell naw not me, can’t do it. I don’t care if my ass got to 300 pounds I couldn’t do it.
I might be harsh but I wish I could give you an example. You would see where I was coming from.
Meal prep for the work week.#gettingmysexyback # weightlossgoals This took me two hours. Tired as hell but ready to handle business
I feel like my mom with the VCR back in the say. I am not a wiz with social media. I actually don’t have time to figure it out. I try my best, and I know I could do so much better with knowledge.
These kids got this shit on lock. They grew up in this age making it all easier. I have a message and I am trying to figure out how to get it out. Not easy and something I actually fell into. This blog started from a asshole ex. Granted his NEW title is asshole, it wasn’t when he made the suggestion. Well he knows writing is my thing. Which I have never been consistency at in my life. Because I lack discipline in all matters of my life.
He started this blog for me. Granted I wish he picked Google because I could get some absence. I have no idea how to move it over. Also I have so much going on don’t feel like even going there. If I had time I would create my own website.
I think god is going to bless me with all I ask. I am going to keep asking until that happens. What could it hurt.
I am feeling my life is in disarray. My room has crap all over the place. Partly because I have a two year old who likes to touch everything. She drags my shit all through this little ass room. Then I have a cat who loves me and I hate. Hate might be a strong word. Strongly don’t like. In my old age, I realize I am not an animal person.
I need to clean this sometime today. I also have a bunch of scratch tickets on my desk I haven’t scratched. I know it is crazy. My possible millions that are scattered all over a desk. I keep collecting and not scratching.
I decided even if I win, I wouldn’t leave my mom’s house until she is three. I would totally get on trying for baby number two. I know I stay in my fantasy world on occasion. Some folks think I am crazy. I think why the hell not. My fantasy life is so grand and prolific. I will never give it up. It keeps my mind business at work. Even thought I love my job it is boring as hell. I think hell would be more entertaining. So I have to explain, I love my job, I don’t like what I do.
I like my job because there is not stress or drama. I am a union employee (first time in my life) They can’t make me stay late. (LOVE THAT). My boss is so sweet and nice. I am appreciates and they think I am great and do well with my job.
The fact that my profession is not exciting or gives me happiness to do the rest my life. Pales in comparison to the other things I mentioned. I need to pay bills. Most people are not giggling happy to go to work.
When I did this job in corporate it came with deadlines and crazy bosses. I had a few good ones but a bunch of crazies. That want you to sleep at the job to get bullshit done. I have a great work ethic, but not in love with what I do.
All this to say my day dream game is on point. I can go into a whole different world while doing my work. It keeps me motivated try it, you will never go back.
Hey the positive people dream it , it will come. I am going to clean this hot mess of a room. Wish me luck!!!