More than you can handle!!!

The saying God won’t give you more than you can handle. I do feel he has a sense of humor. Life is not how expected at all. I mean all of it. Life has surely been stranger than fiction.

My life has been blessed in a lot of ways. I know I say it a lot on this blog. I need to remind myself of a regular basis. I was talking to the Ava speech therapist. Her cousin son has just been diagnosed. She had to tell her mother he doesn’t have cancer. Yes that is how some people come at you. Like your kid is dying.

I have had a lot of heart to hearts with a lot of parents of autistic kids. We all have different stories and similar stories.

I thought I would be married. On my third child by now. I remember when my ex 20 years ago asked if I wanted to have a baby with him. In my opinion he just wanted to have sex with no condom.

Looking back, I should have did it. Hind-site is 20/20. If I would have went down that road. Many great women would have never entered my life.

There is no do overs for life. I enjoyed my life. I am still living every moment of it. Taking every challenge with head held high.  Praying to god for the strength to get through. So far so good.

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Ava Special Needs

Well I went public. My blog is not inline with my YouTube channel. To be honest folks, I write a lot of these in advance. Then schedule them out to keep them going. It is all my life just not in real time. Sometimes!!! Unless I had a hard day and just needed to write.

This works for me to keep my blog alive weekly. Instead of letting it go for months with the lack of time in my life.

So Ava is autistic. I few of you guys figured it out. I am not embarrassed or ashamed. That is not the reason I didn’t answer anyone’s questions. I was going through a lot. Had to get a lot in place for my child. Had to work on her, and all her needs.

I had no idea what the word meant. I have cousin with autism. I really thought it was just hard to socialize and make friends. OMG it means a whole lot more than that. My closest friends and family has really been my comfort. When I was sitting in the doctors face. She approved my child for 25 hours a week of services. She said if there is no progress we will be having a different conversation the next time.

Well it has been a year. A lot of progress has been made in some areas. Not in all, but which can bother me at times. The therapist love to say we need to meet them where they are at. I met a mom and I have to steel what she said. I need to meet her where she needs to go not where she is at.

Early intervention think I am super mom. I feel I fall short from that title in many ways. I work a full time job. I have an hours worth of commute each way. I do go out my way to email them. Set goals I want to see happen. Sit down and talk to them when I can.

Tonight I wrote a proposal try and get parents evening and weekend training classes. I have not taken early childhood, speech or ABA classes. I need help in those areas so I can help my child.

I have already picked out her preschool. Please pray we get in. I have had a one on one with the assistant principal. I have things I want to work on implementing and goals I want her to reach. My baby is my pries possession. She will be doing testing for preschool hopefully this month. To start immediately when she turns 3 and the services end. Which in Massachusetts is 3.

Ok I know some will go into vaccines. I met a woman that delayed the vaccines and her daughter still got it. I did beat myself up for not doing a delayed schedule. Or some kind of way this is my fault. I had to let that go. None of that talk will help my daughter.

She will have challenges and I will be there to help her through everyone . …

2017 Goals

I have many things I want to accomplish in this year. First I need to get over my procrastination. Yes, it is my major downfall.

Ava will start school this year. I have a lot to do where she is concerned. I want to finish my book. Which I am not so impressed with my work so far. I am my own worst critic.

Getting out of debt is a major one this year. I need to knock out a major portion of this debt I accumulated.

Keep growing my YouTube channel. Which has been it own challenge in itself. I really don’t have the time to put into this channel. I do what I can and it will have to be enough for now.

I am making an effort in a few ways. I got to 1000 subscribers. Now my next goal is 1,500.

Dating is on the agenda for 2017. Not top on the list but it is there.

Losing 100 pounds. Yes I said a 100. I have to stop eating my feeling. Something I feel that is all I can do. I don’t always feel I have someone who understands me.

My friends have there lives to live. I know they are there. They listen but they don’t have solutions like I don’t really have solutions for that life. It is all advice. Which I listen to and see if it fits into my thought process.

Increase my spirituality. I use to have blind faith. I see it creeping away. I need to do something to change that.

 

Dating Sites

I put myself out there again. I have no idea how I am going to fit this in. The warden being my mom is totally against internet dating. Since she is my only official babysitter at the moment, not sure how I am going to swing this.

I am going to ask her godmother to help out. That is if a prospect shows up. I really would just like someone to talk to. Not just looking for dick in my life. I want something deeper and interesting.

I have been thinking about the plumber. I also refuse to go back to that mess at the moment. I can’t say what I would do in a desperate moment. I don’t see it being that deep anytime soon.

I am working on saying positive. Dating can be so disheartening.