Family Drama

What is a holiday without a good dose of family drama. Well I have to say I was not spared this holiday. Even thought I live over an 18 hour drive from my family. I was granted the family drama via the phone. First I got very emotional over some family business that I felt was not being taken seriously. Then I had two family members crying to me over the phone for different reasons. One accusing me of taking the other persons side.

All I could think is why are they calling me with this. I am not the most sensitive person. I know it and it isn’t a family secret. I guess I have a hard shell towards my family because I feel I am never heard and feelings never taken into consideration. So  it is hard for me to listen to the crying with much sympathy. I know that is horrible. I am no therapist, and I don’t want to be in the middle at all.

I love my family but I feel they can be very selfish. There feelings are the most important. Have you ever talked to someone and they seemed to spin it to how it affects them. There is always some come back with their pain and issues when you have something to say.

Then when you dish the same thing out to them all hell breaks loose. I got blasted for doing the exact same thing to a family member she does to me. She told me I was insensitive and mean. I said wow I took that out of your play book. I asked her did she remember doing the exact same thing to me. Why is ok for her to treat me like crap when she feels like it. When I treat her the same way there is an up roar of drama. That is my family what can I do. I can pick my friends I can’t pick the family I was born into.

I try to focus on my behavior and how I treat others. I am moody and I know it. When I don’t feel like being bothered I want to be left alone. I am not always in the mood for family B.S.

I have a right to take myself out of the equation. I have to protect my feelings I can’t worry about everyone else.  If I took all their dramas on to myself I would be on many drugs. God bless them, God change me!!

Life is always interesting!!

Well the new man in my life has surprised me.  He is more attentive then before. I hear from him daily, sometimes twice a day.  I couldn’t ask for more. I have to say the attention is nice.  We have been out several times. We also spent about six hours hanging out on Sunday. We still haven’t classified it as a relationship. Which I could care less about the classification I am just enjoying the moment.

The surprising thing about this whole situation is we are officially trying to get pregnant.  Certain people think I am crazy.  I don’t care what they think. We talked about it and he desires children and so do I.  Shit I was about to charge my credit cards to the max to have a baby.  Now I have a willing participant, which I happen to have known for ten years. Plus regular sex in my life would be great in my opinion. Which is a lot more fun than an doctor’s office.  The funny thing is this is my first time having unprotected sex. This should be interesting.

Now I could be asking for some major issues later. I can’t predict the future nor do I want to. I am going to take it one day at time.  A friend of mine feels I am doing this backwards. My answer to her is I been trying to do this the right way for over fifteen years. I have had no luck. So I am going to get what I want period. A beautiful relationship comes with it than yah me.

The hard part of this whole thing is Mr. Man job. It has him in and out of the state all the time. So timing could be a big issue. Wish me luck.


Can’t I have anything?

I joined this meet up group. I have been to one event.  I had planned to make there events part of my regular social calendar. I had a decent time minus one incident. I’m trying to forget that incident which had nothing to do with the group. So I wanted to relax this weekend and miss two events.

I went online to check out the pictures to see who showed up. My mouth dropped. My co-worker was a member. I guess that wouldn’t be a big deal if this was someone I could see myself socializing with. Also I’m private at work. I try not to mix professional and private. Correction I learned my lesson not to mix professional and private. That is an entire different story.

I share selectivity and only with certain people in the workplace.  The major issue is this person has a big mouth. There entire life story is all over the office. I’m not going to be chased out. I really enjoyed the people in the group. I am going to put on my big girl draws and deal with it. It isn’t high school a period in my life I have no desire to repeat.

I thought this city was big enough. I guess not!!!