This needs to happen

They lady next door wasn’t interested. She directed me to her realtor daughter who might have someone interested. I need major positive vibes my way. I could careless who buys it. Just get it off my hands. If things worked easily It wouldn’t be my life.

So many things on my mind. I am ready to get this one-off my mind!! Home ownership was very overrated in my case. I am sure a lot of people feel that way. So trying to do the right thing and short sale instead of foreclosed seems like a big ass struggle. I have half the battle the bank. But if they came in any where close to what my buyer was willing to pay I wouldn’t be complaining my ass off on this blog.  I would be worried about packing and moving.

I know god is working for me in the background. Patients is not my thing. I am going to try my best and have some blind faith all will work out. I have had baby brain for about a week. I keep thinking about having a baby. I have to stay off Facebook. All people with their new baby pictures are making me jealous.

My friend also informed me today I look like a 13-year-old with all this acne I have. I have never had bad skin. This issue is due to the DHEA I am taking for my own AMH results. It is supposed to help with my egg quality. The bad skin is a side effect. Yah me!!! I will live!!

Susan G. Komen for the Cure Charity or Politicians?

Supporters of Planned Parenthood

You better watch who you give your money to these days. Now it isn’t about women’s health it is about who is in office. Why does it matter what a person’s political agenda is for me to get my health taken care of?

Well I always have been a fan of Susan G. Komen. Whenever someone asked for my donation I jumped at the chance. I also make sure to contribute whenever I see the pink flag. Breast cancer is a major issue. My cousin is in remission presently.

Then they pull their grant money from Planned Parenthood because they do abortions. Wow that shows how much they care about women. Or do they care about someone’s political agenda.

Senior manager for public policy, Karen Handel, who had been quoted as saying: “I am staunchly and unequivocally pro-life … Let me be clear: since I am pro-life, I do not support the mission of Planned Parenthood.”

This women needs to do her job and not push her politics on people!! Did I mention she had an unsuccessful run for political position!!

Sounds like, they hired someone who cares more about her political agenda than women. I think her ass needs to be fired. Who let her push that decision through the ranks? What are their Republican lobbyist deciding where charity money is spent?

Now they do an about-face. They change their decision. Why because I am sure there funding was going to go south with that crap they pulled.

They were going to take 650K from Planned Parenthood. How about in two days Planned Parenthood raised 400K from the outrage of their decision.

Way to go American public. I was so proud when I heard about that. Women do not play when it comes to their health. The studies on disease and medical attention, are  disproportional given to men’s issues. The reason we need these charities in the first place.

That woman who made the decision to make women’s health a political issues need to be a politician not a promoting a charity.

I am glad they got their ass handed to them. They need to know their money comes from who they serve. When they made the decision they forgot who this charity was for? Why do we contribute this money?

I have to say I will think twice the next time a person asks for a donation. Which  is a DAMN SHAME!!!

Friday Depression

Well I am no longer in a relationship. He broke up with me via text message. No I am not making this up. He is so sorry that he couldn’t even face me on the phone. Then they wonder why we want to have children by ourselves. We had a text message battle on Friday. Yes I did mention he was a punk to do this via text message. I swear I hate this man. I only had few situations in my life where I experienced hate. This is one I can add to the list. Fuck him and I am glad I know what type of person he is now. He is just sorry in my book. If he came to me like a man and discussed this with me. I would be upset but would have had to accept it. No he couldn’t do that. So I hate him. He better never contact me again. I know he feels bad. I got text message at 12am asking if I was asleep. I just looked at my phone and thought seriously.

What is killing me about this is we have known each other for ten years. We have been friends longer than anything else. Well I decided not to dwell. My girl and I are going bowling and play pool. I am still in a bad place. I am going out with my girl who is less pressure. Not worrying about men at all. I have been asked on a few dates. Yeah I know  I work quick. Well I jumped on my Yahoo IM and started talking to folks I haven’t talked to in months. I got three offers of sperm for my baby journey.

It is funny how men are offering me their seed. One offered and I was beyond shocked. I thought he loved the bachelor life. He said he wasn’t getting any younger and didn’t have kids. He is sexy also. He is another long story from my past. Well actually not a long story but a story I need to keep to myself.  Our relationship was not the brightest moment in my history. Case closed on that LOL. I have to regroup and think about my next step. I decided I am jumping back into dating. I am going to save for my possible sperm purchase. I told a friend from home if a lump some of money comes into my life. I am going straight to getting pregnant and not worry about bullshit relationships. Right now I am going to have to save for that.

Either way god is on my side. I am going to keep taking my supplements for egg quality and move forward. One guy I lusted after years ago. He was so my type. I will not go into why we never got together. Well he is retired from the military and already has children. I told him he could father my children and give me the medical insurance for my babies through the military and we would be even. We had a big laugh on that one. LOL I am crazy!! I know it. If you can’t laugh at yourself then you are taking life to seriously.

It will all work out.

Lottery update

Scratchcards sold in Berlin, Germany

Image via Wikipedia

The scratch ticket I held on to was a winner. It wasn’t what I dreamed. A free ticket which equals a winner so I broke even. How can you beat that. Of course I scratched another one in the same manner. I won again!!! I still have no idea how much. I am leaving that for next Monday. When I wake up and don’t feel like going to work.  I want to have something to look forward to.

My co-worker thinks I am beyond crazy. He is a true gambler. He offered me 50 bucks for my ticket.  I had to give him one of his sayings he gave me. I might be hungry but I am not starving. How would I look selling a winning ticket that could possible be worth  5 million dollars for 50 bucks.  I am sure he is going to sell me a pet rock next.

I told the boyfriend again when I win we are going straight to RE for some IVF. Clearly I am not patient. I am ready for my mother’s day card. 🙂

Today is a sad day. My uncle funeral. I could not afford to go home. Another round of guilt for living so far from home.

Coming Clean

I have other blogs and a face book account.  I still feel I haven’t been able to expressing my inner me. The frightened thought of who will be affected by my anonymity being lost.  The thoughts going through my mind does need to be expressed. I have been through a lot in my 35 years and feel that more than a few will relate to my life.  Now I am coming clean. Clean with my emotions feelings and struggles.  Clean with all the dirty little secrets and skeletons in the closet you want no one to know.  Clean with all the good bad and ugly in my world.  This will be my day to day blog. My writing will be from the past, presence and future. The past that I cannot change and have to work on letting go. The present I need to have the courage to change. The future I have to believe will be good. If anyone has any comments feel free to express them.