Ava picture is in the beginning. #fatheringautism great YouTube channel all about autism awareness
Ava picture is in the beginning. #fatheringautism great YouTube channel all about autism awareness
I was given some invitations. I bowed out. The first was a Halloween party. At the tune of 30 bucks. Which did not include parking. I am not a big fan of dressing up. I considered it for a min. Then that went out the window. The second was speed dating. I was really considering that offer. This event cost 25.00.
I went to a few stores looking for an outfit. I found nothing. I am not a shopper. I actually hate shopping. I wasn’t in the mood today to find something that made me look cute. Then I thought about it 25.00 to get in. Then a new outfit cost. After considering my budget I decided I really didn’t want to go. So now I am home on a Saturday night with no plans.
I did join Planet Fitness. At the tune of 10 dollars a month. I also met my friend at the gym who is a member. Coming in with her I got to join for five bucks. Can’t beat that.
On my first day of gym membership I walked on the Treadmill for an hour. I am not totally cheap. I did stop by Best Buy to purchase a MP3 player. I purchased a SanDisk at the tune of 50bucks. I had to upgrade from my clunky CD player. Who new CD players are old school. I am so not the tech girl. I have boycotted technology for so long. I guess I have no choice but to get with it.
It worked great for my first day at planet fitness. I have already been put on notice there are a lot of cute guys that are members. To bad I do not have cute workout clothes. When did clothes you sweat in are supposed to be cute. I am so behind the times.
I am going back tomorrow with my not so cute workout clothes. I need to drop twenty pounds. To tone up the flab wouldn’t hurt. I own a treadmill but getting out the house works a whole lot better.
I came home and have not done much at all. I swear my life is boring. It wasn’t that exciting when I was single. Over the past few years my Friday nights have not been that interesting. The boyfriend is out-of-town. Nothing unusual about that. My dog is asleep as usual. I swear this dog takes a pile of sleeping pills every day. How much can an animal sleep.
I am using my remote to patrol the channels like cable is some how going to be interesting. I pay all this money for nothing. Time to downgrade the channels again. I have to say after I left work I had a smile on my face. I swear when I get there in the morning I can’t wait until five. When I am in the parking lot I feel like I just attained freedom. Which last until my alarm clock wakes me up the next day.
I often dream what a life of leisure be like? Would I turn into a fat couch potatoes? Would I make my life interesting with random activities? Like taking classes like Zomba, photography, swimming. If I ever got the opportunity I hope to be the activity person.
I would bring out my bucket list and do everything I want to complete before I die. I have another scratch ticket. I won but have not scratched the amount. Could it be a free ticket or my ticket to employment freedom. I decided to scratch it on Monday morning. Which I will have to call in sick because I would be on my way to the lottery office.
Did I admit I am not quitting until the check clears. LOL!!! Anything is possible.
I swear I been thinking about all the choices I made in my life. One choice put my life on the track it is at present. If I could re write history what would I change? Where would I be now? Mysteries of the world that will never be answered. I have seen a few movies with changing the past as the plot. They never seem to end up happy and want the past change right back.
I do believe I learned from my past experiences. I still wish I did many things differently. Will I be happy with the future out come? Who the hell knows. Hindsight is 20/20.
I told my father I was working on having a baby. He was excited. He was the last family member who this would affect. I don’t know why I waited to tell him. My dad is an easy-going guy. He told me after I graduated college he didn’t care what I did after that point. It sounds bad, but my dad has a GED and was beyond proud that I had a college degree. So I guess at that point there wasn’t anything possible that I could do to disappoint him.
He still wants me to move back home. I miss Boston but it isn’t calling me as much as it use to. My mission of this baby is calling more than anything. My father and I talked about the twin thing. With my mom being a twin. Also my fathers aunt having two sets of twins. YES I am nervous about that. It also keeps coming up!!!
Hopefully children will get my parents to visit more. Once in ten years they step into this state to see me. Very pathetic I might add. They rather I come home than they make it down here. Very selfish in my opinion. Well they are old I can’t change them. I just have to work with it.
I knew I should have saved that last entry. I lost my post for today and had to do it again. Well I had no side effects today Yeppie!!!. I had a headache after I took it last night but that went away and I have been good. I just want that BFP. It is funny that pills that were under ten bucks might give me a baby. I been reading all the success stories online. I would have never heard of it, if I didn’t read a whole lot of blogs. Thanks for people sharing I am on my way to baby success.
Also that lottery ticket I was waiting to scratch. Well I won a free ticket. The fantasy was worth a lot more than the ticket!!!
The boyfriend said he doesn’t understand why I blog. As he said putting all your business out there. This is a man who isn’t into any kind of social media. I respect his privacy but hey I have joined the new generation. I like sharing and receiving comments and possible helping someone else. He is very old school which is fine. I have agreed never to put anything of him online and all is good with us.
He is not the only one I know adverse to the internet. I guess I have always been an open book. Also not many people know I have a blog. I only share the link with people I would tell these things to anyway. Also I love the comments I get from strangers. Especially strangers in other countries I would have never connected with any other way. Most of us share that desire to have children bond. A bond he just doesn’t understand.
I took my first dose at 6pm yesterday. At first no effect. I did wake up sweaty. I was wondering to myself, did I have a hot flash while I was sleeping. I never had one that I know of to compare it to. I have a slight headache this morning. It is nothing I am using drugs to fix so I guess I am alright. I also took 50mg of DHEA this morning. All in all if I am having side effects they are not that major. I am hoping it continues that way. I spent so much of my life not trying to have a child. Now all that I am doing to have one. It is funny how things change!!!
I had another trip of relaxation and a back rub from heaven. My friends came with me. They have enough workers there that none of us had to wait. I also got my same guy. My session went very long which I never usually worried about. I had guests with me and didn’t want them waiting too long.
Well they were waiting. My appointment was it usual great experience. I couldn’t get a gage how they felt about their appointment. They seemed to enjoy the experience. My friend joked that my guy must like me because I was in there for two hours. I enjoyed every minute of it. Coming here is a lot of self-love. I have decided even after a baby I will continue to come. I wish I could afford to come every week. I am presently relaxed and rejuvenated for my reproductive journey.
AF showed up today. So I took 200mg of Soy Isoflavones. I will take it for the next four days. Now I am going to begin charting my ovulation again and hopefully boyfriend in town when needed.
It will all work out, I am staying positive. Now I have to figure out how to take these other supplements. So more research tonight and praying for a successful month.
Nothing to do today. Boyfriend is out-of-town and possible will be here tonight. I was invited to a fight party, to be honest I am not into boxing. I use to go to these events to meet men. Now that I have a man, I will have to be honest about my motives. So no fight party for me. I do have a girls day at acupuncture to look forward to tomorrow. All in all I am boring. It is kind of pitiful how boring I really am. The funny thing is I have a ton of projects I could be working. I am boring and lazy. I am glad I know myself. Boyfriend and I went to see Colombiana last weekend. Pretty decent movie. Boyfriend didn’t fall asleep, so the movie had to be decent. It was a nice date night considering we don’t have many due to his job.
Life is pretty good. I have great friends. Especially the ones who got me through my diarrhea of the mouth yesterday. I broke my year streak of not saying anything I regret. Well I am starting the clock over again today. Keep my eyes on my own plate and stop worrying about other people. I still haven’t figure out what mg to take of this supplements and win. I need to work all that out this weekend. AF should be here on Sunday. If not AF first thing is a pregnancy test.
So I am at a stand still with my TTC.
I talk to much. I swear I let my mouth get the best of me. I don’t think I said anything to out the way. I just wish I shut my mouth. Do you ever have that moment when you wish you could do a take back. That is what I wished, oh well I got to live with it. A small part that I wish I could take back is I mention to my boss I have a boyfriend. Which I have kept secret for a long while. It was something I didn’t want the entire office to know.
I still don’t want to be part of the office gossip so I told her this was not meant for the entire office. She asked me if we were getting married. Here is the question again. The one I just state in my previous blog drives me up a wall. I just came out with I am not sure about the marriage but I will have a baby. I through her off with that one.
It turned into an interesting convo and she saw my point. She said if I came into the office pregnant she would fall out. I should have kept my mouth shut and now I hope nothing I said will bite me in the ass. What she doesn’t know is getting pregnant is exactly what I am planning to happen. Hopefully sooner than later.
This would be the perfect time for my lottery ticket to be a winner. Than I would not be working and I wouldn’t care what I said. I still haven’t checked the amount. I will do it this Sunday. 🙂
I swear I been waiting for Friday since I walked into work on Monday. I don’t have big plans for the weekend. I just want to rest and chill. I convinced a few friends to hit up the acupuncture with me. They are going for different reason. We all know I am going for my reproductive success. I think one of my friends is going for her back and the other for general health. It is funny my acupunturist said to me ” China is over populated they must be doing something right.” I thought that was hilarious but also true.
I had to console a friend recently. I do not believe doctors know everything. Her baby success is possible no matter what a doctor says. They do not know everything. I remember with my neurological condition I was told the doctors practice medicine. Meaning they don’t always have the answer they are just practicing. Which I think is true or their wouldn’t be that easy out called unexplained infertility. Sometimes reading stories online can be so depressing. I also wonder if people share more sob stories than success stories?
I bought all these supplements I need to figure out how and when I am going to take them. I read DHEA can give you insomnia. That is something I don’t need. Before I take anything I going to do a pregnancy test. The deed was done a few days after my ovulation, but hey you never know. I don’t want to take anything that could hurt a baby if there is one. 🙂 wishful thinking but you never know.
As you can see I been doing a whole lot better with updating my blog. I started to notice I tune into a lot of blogs. I get disappointed when I don’t get that next nugget of their lives. I hate reality TV but I love you tube and my blogs that I ready daily. I feel reality TV is staged and rehearsed. Nothing eventful is going on in my life these days.
I know a child will bring a lot of excitement. I talk to my co workers about her sons daily and they are just too much. How I would love to be enlightened and shocked by my child. Boyfriend and I are doing greatly lately. I am going to stay optimistic that we have gotten on a good road. I want the GPS to stay on the right track and not revert back to us arguing.
The few people who know about this relationship keep asking me if we will get married. That is not the first thing on my mind. I actually don’t want to hear the question anymore. I am no longer worried about marriage. I have several friends in marriages that are not that great. I will say I wouldn’t mind being married. If it doesn’t happen I am cool with that too. I will not beg or threaten a man to do something he does not want to do.
As far as the baby thing. I was willing to go into debt to pay for insemination and all the above to have a baby. So I don’t care that I am working on the baby before any marriage proposal. I told my friend you know how much this man sperm would be if I bought it from a sperm bank? He has a BA in Engineering and a Masters in Math. He also wants to see his child. We are talking 600 bucks easily per vile. I am making out like a bandit and having fun at the same time. Do I have feeling for this man? Yes! If he asked me to marry him what would my answer be? It would be YES!!!!
If he doesn’t ask and I end up with a baby looking at me with his eyes and my smile than I will be equally blessed. It is funny some of these women act like I am turning away a husband. He hasn’t asked end of subject!!!