I started a low carb diet. I tend to put more fat in the diet. I will use low-fat things as long as everything is low carb. This because urgent when I gained seven pounds in a week. Which I looked like a fool and totally embarrassed in front of the woman who takes the weight in weight watchers. Was I shocked I could gain that much weight in a week? NO!!!! I can get in my feelings a be a binge eater. I ate everything that week. From Chinese food to random take out, ice cream. I was having food orgasms that gave me a 7-pound weight gain in one week.
The come to Jesus moment. I cannot do the weight watchers diet. I cannot do food in moderation. It isn’t possible. I will never get to my goal weight not knowing who I am. Well, I continue weight watchers. YES!! It is at my job convenient and my job discounts the price. So the main reason I will continue to go is accountability. When I am accountable to myself that shit never works. I can lie to myself and get away with it every day. Sad but the truth.
So with my new Low carb diet, I have been weight myself every day.
July 28 251.6
July 31 247
Aug 1 246.5
Aug 2 246.2
Aug 3 245.2
Aug 5 245.6
Aug 6 244.4
Total weight loss 7.2. My goal is to lose 90 pounds. I want to get my skinny sexy back.
When you have a plan and none of it works out. I have several things I was trying to do before I laid my head on my pillow. I wanted to churn out all my videos for September. Have them scheduled and done. I wanted to work on this blog. I wanted to work on my book. Also, finish my latest adult coloring book distressing. Well, I got exactly one video edited. That shit didn’t’ go fast all. I have been distracted with Facebook and trying to get the video to look the way I want. Day dreaming of buying a house, so I sit on realtor websites. Yeah pretty much wasting time.
I have been trying to work on my time management. If I get all this done now, then I can pay full attention to my book that I need to do major reworking. Pray for a sister. Someone needs to get my mind straight.
Ava has door to door medical transportation to her program. It has not been going smoothly. I made sure to put in the prescription that she requires a female monitor. Which does not consistently happen. The company is run by Russians. They are friendly men that drive the van or car. Ava doesn’t seem distressed or pissed off. Which I have to go off her mannerisms because there is no verbal communication.
I have complained once due to them being late two days in a row. They have been on time as of late. I don’t want to piss off people that have my child or a regular basis. I am giving them some time to get it together. I want my baby safe. I don’t want her to be taken advantage of because of age and lack of language.
The list of shit I want to do is long as hell. I want to keep my Youtube channel alive. Then I have this blog. Which I haven’t monetized because I can’t figure how to. I do love the people who read my blog, so it is on my list to stay consistent. Making sure my daughter has all she needs. She gets a bath every night. Now that she is in school I have to wash all the daily germs off her. I have to do her hair every night. I don’t have time in the morning. Gel is my best friend when it comes to her hair. We sit on the bed with her in front of me. She has to have her tablet and a pacifier. I know she is 3 and a pacifier sounds crazy. If anyone questioned me about it I would say it is none of their business. My daughter has a mouthing issues that we haven’t totally figured out. So if she needs a pacifier to not put random shit in her mouth. She can have the pacifier. I noticed she is using it less and less. She tends to chew on them then suck on them.
Every day she comes home from school her hair looks like she is rolling around on the floor all day. If I can get two days out of her hair I am sooo lucky. Then I have to cook one of the four things she eats. Which also drives me crazy. I wish this child would eat other shit that doesn’t have to do with cheese.
When I spend time on the computer while she has her tablet and Netflick simultaneously. I work on my social media presence. Trying to drive subscribers to my Youtube channel. I have almost 1300. Not allot but better than the 200 I had over a year ago. When I work on my book, blog, editing video.
I am all into my adult color books. A hobby I don’t have time for. I also don’t have time for a nervous breakdown. So I make time. It is mindless de stressing activity. How I wish I didn’t have to work and my passions would be my life. I keep the lottery in business with my payments to the dream of financial freedom. I also have a friend husband looking out for a rich fuckable man that likes brown skin women.
All in all, I am still here doing my thing. 🙂
My book sucks. Now I think it is a great concept and story. The way I am telling it sucks. I have 100 pages of a beginning. I am not trying to teach myself how to write better. I am on Youtube listening to a video about fiction writing. I also gong to read a few books. I use to be a big reader. I have the concept and a shell of a book.
I discussed it with my editor and asked her to be honest with me. I am grateful that she wasn’t hurt full but clear. I was reading online and I a blog stated the difference between a good writer and a bad writer is commitment. So I am committed to d better. I have to time limits. I really wanted a finished product by September. That isn’t going to happen.
Time is not what my life is about. So I am not going to rush. I want a finished product I can be proud of. Even if it isn’t a best seller. I don’t want it to be a piece of shit. I was getting bored reading my own book. (NOT GOOD) If this is something I a want to do with my life. (IN MY DREAMS) The effort has to be there. Pray for my ass because I can talk a good game. I need some ACTION!!!
I thought I was almost done with my book. I paid for the editing. She is almost done. I love the work she has done. In rereading the chapters I realized I need to do more. I asked my editor what she thought and she confirmed my thoughts. It is kind of boring. I would rather take the time and make it a page turner and something I can be proud of. I think the story is good.
I wish I knew my passion for writing years ago. I would have taken classes and done the necessary back work. Now that time is not my friend. Life has so many things taking my time away. Sleep is a major one. I will go back to the lab and focus on this book being a page turner.
I took Ava first day of school/medical ABA. The transportation went smoothly. Then they sent us a new woman driver the next day. She was half an hour late to pick up Ava. They are having issues getting a female monitor. They have one in the morning. They seem to be coming back in the evening without one.
Now my new thing is that my child is safe. I don’t want to nit pick. They need to be on time. So on Day three late again. On day two the car seat I had for Ava wasn’t the greatest. She was climbing out of it while she was driving. This is where a monitor would have come in handy. Thank god the other little girl’s mom let the driver use her daughter’s car seat to get Ava home safely.
I thought all this was stressful as hell. I was going to go to Baby R Us and get another car seat with a harness. When I dropped off the car seat back to the mother who let Ava use it. She suggested I use the expensive car seat I have in my car until I get another one. I thought was a good idea because I really didn’t feel like looking for a car seat. I worked all day and tired as hell.
That car seat has not been moved in two years. Can I tell you it weighs a ton? So I was going to have my elderly mom carry that heavy ass car seat. Then the driver couldn’t figure out how to use it properly. They were 40 min late.
I went to Baby R Us on my lunch break and bought a new car seat. I also called the owner of the transportation company and complained. I hope everything works better. Three days in and all this foolishness.
This insurance for Ava school (ABA Program) I am calling it school. All this has been some bullshit. So I am sitting in parent orientation and they mention my cost would be 30.00 a day. My faced dropped. I told her I talked to that lady that name started with J. Yeah I had no idea what her name was. She said it would be 20.00 a day. I also have that secondary insurance which the autism center is in the final stages of being in network with. Then my charge would be zero.
Well, I called your insurance company and they said 30.00. Well, can you check again I stressed? Now I will go into debt for my baby. If it will get her to talk I will do whatever it is I have to. But that lady told me 20.00 and messing my money is like messing with my emotions. I will call now and email you what I find out. My mother and I picked up some food after the orientation. I checked my email and she said it was 30.00
I got home and found that lady email and went the hell off. You told me 20.00, where did this extra 10 come from. That is my problem with your insurance company the miss information. She wrote me back it will be 20.00 and cc the woman from the autism center.
Then the autism center emailed back I just called and your company is saying 30. It was a hot mess. It was clear I was getting upset and I told the lady at my insurance company what the hell is the price. Now she knows not to play with me. She called me and said it is 20, but for me, she will lower to 10.00. I was quiet as hell.
Can you email that as proof of this conversation. She said yes, which she did and I have no more words but GOD IS GOOD!!!!
This is the picture of Ava finishing her yogurt before she gets on the bus to school. My mother already cried twice. My anxiety is very high. This is the first time this child has been out of family eyes.
Everything went great. Another mother and I got our daughters to ride together. We don’t live far from each other. I have been calling all day checking on my baby. My friend who physically picks up her daughter said she saw Ava. Ava didn’t have a care in the world and was having a great time. I can’t wait to see her progress.
There is a house on my street that doesn’t mind making all other neighbors mad. They have parties which I could give a shit about. They will have a DJ and the music is blaring so loud you can hear it all the way down the street. This house is 8-10 houses away from me. I don’t think they own the house. So hopefully eventually their ass will move.
On the fourth of July, they had fireworks going for four hours. In the middle of the street. Cars had to go around there set up. They didn’t end the bullshit until close to 1 am. I had to go to work the next day. I have called the cops on them several times. When I get through I find out half the neighborhood calls the cops on them.
I don’t see the cops coming over here in a timely fashion. I might have to report this bullshit to the mayor office. I can’t believe people can be so rude. Don’t care who they are bothering. I am all for a good time, but damn!!!