Let me start with I love Ava Autism Center. I really like what they do and how devoted they are to the children. That being said I know my child. I know I need to trust in the process. As I said prior that food therapist shut me up in a big way.
I went to the center for training. The BCBA said he doesn’t think Ava can differentiate between pictures. I told him I disagree. The prior ABA noted she can distinguish between 50 photos. Now I never got the vibe she could do 50 pictures. They did show me things I was impressed with. The problem is Ava doesn’t have a lot of things that drive her.
Meaning candy, food, etc. She is big on the tablet, hugs, and people touching her. She also likes the song. So he said will she take a consolation prize. Meaning she wants you to sing a particular song and you sing another song will she care. I said no she will not. Which is something I love about my child? For the most part, she is happy and low key. She is not that rigid that if she gets something different, she will fall out. Now with the tablet yes that is full-fledged on the floor kicking and screaming.
I asked him where is the book from the prior ABA. He gave it to me I handed it to Ava. She flipped through the book and picked the tablet. I said to see if she didn’t discriminate she would have chosen anything. Then I took the tablet picture out the book and handed it to her again. She flipped through it and picked nothing. So if she couldn’t discriminate she would have chosen anything.
He saw my point. I picked out the six pictures of things Ava like. The rest she didn’t care about. So hopefully we made some headway. I feel they do not push the children. They cry that is it. My child is smart. I cry, and they will leave me alone and not make me do anything.
I am going to stay wholly involved at every turn. I am fully aware we need to work together. I feel Ava is brilliant. The fact that Ava has no words is the roadblock to us knowing her abilities.
I started letting her figure it out. Instead of assuming she can’t do it. The first example is the carseat. My dad bought her a Carseat that can grow with her. It is big and bulky and now having almost 4 year old I would have gotten the smaller verision. So this carseat never leaves my car. I would always pick her and put he in the carseat. Now I say get in her seat.
Now she goes and attempts to get in her carseat. I help on occasion, but I give her time to figure it out.
I feel there is a wall in front of my daughter. I can see her through a window and that is how we communicate. I need to find the key to the door that separtes us.
I took Ava first day of school/medical ABA. The transportation went smoothly. Then they sent us a new woman driver the next day. She was half an hour late to pick up Ava. They are having issues getting a female monitor. They have one in the morning. They seem to be coming back in the evening without one.
Now my new thing is that my child is safe. I don’t want to nit pick. They need to be on time. So on Day three late again. On day two the car seat I had for Ava wasn’t the greatest. She was climbing out of it while she was driving. This is where a monitor would have come in handy. Thank god the other little girl’s mom let the driver use her daughter’s car seat to get Ava home safely.
I thought all this was stressful as hell. I was going to go to Baby R Us and get another car seat with a harness. When I dropped off the car seat back to the mother who let Ava use it. She suggested I use the expensive car seat I have in my car until I get another one. I thought was a good idea because I really didn’t feel like looking for a car seat. I worked all day and tired as hell.
That car seat has not been moved in two years. Can I tell you it weighs a ton? So I was going to have my elderly mom carry that heavy ass car seat. Then the driver couldn’t figure out how to use it properly. They were 40 min late.
I went to Baby R Us on my lunch break and bought a new car seat. I also called the owner of the transportation company and complained. I hope everything works better. Three days in and all this foolishness.
This insurance for Ava school (ABA Program) I am calling it school. All this has been some bullshit. So I am sitting in parent orientation and they mention my cost would be 30.00 a day. My faced dropped. I told her I talked to that lady that name started with J. Yeah I had no idea what her name was. She said it would be 20.00 a day. I also have that secondary insurance which the autism center is in the final stages of being in network with. Then my charge would be zero.
Well, I called your insurance company and they said 30.00. Well, can you check again I stressed? Now I will go into debt for my baby. If it will get her to talk I will do whatever it is I have to. But that lady told me 20.00 and messing my money is like messing with my emotions. I will call now and email you what I find out. My mother and I picked up some food after the orientation. I checked my email and she said it was 30.00
I got home and found that lady email and went the hell off. You told me 20.00, where did this extra 10 come from. That is my problem with your insurance company the miss information. She wrote me back it will be 20.00 and cc the woman from the autism center.
Then the autism center emailed back I just called and your company is saying 30. It was a hot mess. It was clear I was getting upset and I told the lady at my insurance company what the hell is the price. Now she knows not to play with me. She called me and said it is 20, but for me, she will lower to 10.00. I was quiet as hell.
Can you email that as proof of this conversation. She said yes, which she did and I have no more words but GOD IS GOOD!!!!
I was hit with a blow. My insurance doesn’t want to pay for the ABA center. In this place call the Untied States with it bullshit for profit insurance companies. Thank god for the woman who works at this place. She told me another family with my same insurance company didn’t want to fight it. WTF, I told her I pay a lot of damn money for my insurance fight those bastards. There is a mandate in Massachusetts to pay for autism therapies. They are saying they will pay for home, not center.
She played the single mother card. Told them I am at work paying for their insurance how the hell can I be home for her therapy. I thought to go girl!!, God is putting these Angels in my life to bless my baby with the things she needs. She got them to concede and they allowed the payment for the initial evaluation.
The insurance company called me and try to talk me out of the center by saying it will be 30 bucks a day. The lady at the center said don’t listen to that bullshit. They don’t have an in-network option so it will not be 30 bucks a day. They are riding the line of legality. The autism center said they have no problem sending a letter from legal.
Also with a mother love I called and harrassed for my secondary insurance for Ava disability to be approved by the state. I should have done it a lot earlier. God on my side it all came through they same day of the bad news of my insurance company being a bunch of assholes.
So even if it was 30 bucks a day. It should be covered by my secondary insurance. The secondary insurance will also pay for transportation for Ava to the center every day. They gave me a premium for this insurance. Which was not outrageous. I would have squeezed it out of my budget even if I had to charge it.
I was approved for premium assistance and it was covered. I told the woman at premium assistance she was my angel. They had a 90-day backlog. This woman did mine in one day. Yes, one damn day. God was so on my side. So no money out of my pocket and my baby get what she needs. We still have a few hurdles before she actually starts. Every hurdle can stop her going to Autism center in its tracks. So far we are still on the road to success. Please pray for my baby. I have been asking for prayers from everyone. I don’t care who you worship or pray to. Send one up for my baby.
The end of the Early intervention. All her therapist came to my house when I was at work of course. I bought a cake for everyone. Which said Ava graduation. No one took a picture for me. When I talked to my mom they already ate it.
When I called them I thought they would have my baby talking in no time. Little did I know when I called them I would be going down the rabbit hole of diagnosis, therapist, Autism, ABA, advocacy, and stress. My life has taken a turned I can’t say I was prepared for. I gained 50 pounds eating out of stress and worry for my baby future.
Even though she has made massive improvements. She still has not spoken a word. Which is the reason I called them in the first place? Advocacy for my child is my number one priority. EI told me they have parents that tell them not to come back when they suggest they get a diagnosis of autism. I pray for those babies that someone will help them.
I took her diagnosis very personal. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? What did I not pay attention to? Ill prepared for any of this. I had many nights crying in my pillow. Until I met other autism parents, I realized I am not a freak. A lot of these mothers are crying and eating the pain away. With the crying and eating they still get up and take care of their kids and advocate for their success. The tears of the mother are the prayers to god to spare their baby from any struggles or pain. Life is not paved in gold for anyone. We all have problems and things we have to deal with. I wouldn’t advise anyone to gain 50 pounds. If those 50 pounds keeps from a complete breakdown then eat dammit. I am sorry food got me through. I am working on getting it off now. But I am glad I ate than drank. Thank god for that!!!
Well I went public. My blog is not inline with my YouTube channel. To be honest folks, I write a lot of these in advance. Then schedule them out to keep them going. It is all my life just not in real time. Sometimes!!! Unless I had a hard day and just needed to write.
This works for me to keep my blog alive weekly. Instead of letting it go for months with the lack of time in my life.
So Ava is autistic. I few of you guys figured it out. I am not embarrassed or ashamed. That is not the reason I didn’t answer anyone’s questions. I was going through a lot. Had to get a lot in place for my child. Had to work on her, and all her needs.
I had no idea what the word meant. I have cousin with autism. I really thought it was just hard to socialize and make friends. OMG it means a whole lot more than that. My closest friends and family has really been my comfort. When I was sitting in the doctors face. She approved my child for 25 hours a week of services. She said if there is no progress we will be having a different conversation the next time.
Well it has been a year. A lot of progress has been made in some areas. Not in all, but which can bother me at times. The therapist love to say we need to meet them where they are at. I met a mom and I have to steel what she said. I need to meet her where she needs to go not where she is at.
Early intervention think I am super mom. I feel I fall short from that title in many ways. I work a full time job. I have an hours worth of commute each way. I do go out my way to email them. Set goals I want to see happen. Sit down and talk to them when I can.
Tonight I wrote a proposal try and get parents evening and weekend training classes. I have not taken early childhood, speech or ABA classes. I need help in those areas so I can help my child.
I have already picked out her preschool. Please pray we get in. I have had a one on one with the assistant principal. I have things I want to work on implementing and goals I want her to reach. My baby is my pries possession. She will be doing testing for preschool hopefully this month. To start immediately when she turns 3 and the services end. Which in Massachusetts is 3.
Ok I know some will go into vaccines. I met a woman that delayed the vaccines and her daughter still got it. I did beat myself up for not doing a delayed schedule. Or some kind of way this is my fault. I had to let that go. None of that talk will help my daughter.
She will have challenges and I will be there to help her through everyone . …