So Tired!!

I took a day off to sleep. I don’t know why I thought there was a way to catch up with sleep. I was totally wrong. I am so tired all the time. Also I have this uneasy feeling in my stomach. I don’t have to throw up. Which I don’t know what is better. Constant sick feeling your stomach or throwing up. As I said my office is so far from the bathroom that wouldn’t be cool if I didn’t make it.

My first appointment is around the corner. It is next Monday. I know I am supposed to get my teeth cleaned sometime soon. I need to reschedule that appointment. It is so hard to know what is permitted and what is not. Also everyone is telling me what I should stay away from. Which I am not sure is truth or something they heard.

My apartment has been crazy this weekend. The wilderness is coming in. I killed a green lizard looking thing. It walked across my keyboard. I screamed my head off and beat it with a roommate. A green lizard thing in your apartment. Then a centipede fell on my leg from the ceiling. I swear it is the window in my living room. There were bees coming in. It is crazy. I called and complained, they need to do something. I am not feeling things that should stay outside in my apartment. I also barely go on my balcony so that isn’t it.

I been feeling a little lonely, but working through those feelings. What I asked for is happened. I am trying to accept where I am now.

Packing Sucks!!

moving day


I have four days to get my stuff together. I started packing last night. It looks like I am only going to need two additional boxes. Am I ready for my own place? Yes!! I still hate the process of packing and moving.


I picked a mover and I hope I don’t get screwed but you never know. I am going to have to say a prayer and suck it up.


My roommate mom and I got in a argument on Friday. Thought I was going to be able to leave unscathed  I guess that was not meant to happen. People usually assume I am soft and a punk because I am quiet and giving.


Well this woman and I went toe to toe and it was ugly. She started with a back-handed apology that I was not going to accept. You know I was wrong but you do X kind of crap. She also insinuated I was listening to her conversation. Lets just say I let her have it!!!  I wished I could leave that day. Not because I am scared of her or anything. I just hate stressful environments. Well to my surprises she came back with a real apology. She said she was wrong no excuses. I have to say I was surprised and amazed. I thought hell just froze over. I accepted her apology and said a few things I had to get off my chest,  Now all is good in the hood. Hopefully until Friday at least when I make my exist.


I went to my complex to see if they will let me see the apartment. No luck it isn’t cleaned yet. I did run into my old co-worker and her husband. The reason I picked the apartment. She looked great. She had lost 40 pounds which I was very impressed. We talked for a while and I went to buy a few things for my new place I will be calling home.


I am waiting for my credit union to get back to me about that loan. Today is president day so it will not be today.


This would be a great time for a scratch ticket win. 🙂


I have six of them. Which I decided will not be scratched until I am in my own place.


My mom is coming to visit. I am excited, she has only been here once in 12 years. This time we are going to do more. My aunt is already getting ready for her visit. Then I have to take time off for my cousin/Brother wedding. (Cousin/Brother=he is more like a brother. No Jerry Springer situation LOL)


I am praying I get pregnant on the first try. I am sure everyone has that prayer. But god has been on a roll with me. I know it is possible  I also know myself. I am going to stack the deck with some Soy isoflavone with my clomid. That is if she gives me clomid. I have to wait to the doctor’s appt.


New Living Situation!

I am going to start with I love my two roommate. I moved in with them. I was nervous at first. They turned into the sister I never had. They were concerned about me and made me feel welcome.

One of my roommate mother’s moved in. I was nervous about that to. Things happen initially and I thought I should move out. Then changed my mind.

Well recently I heard the mom talking about me to her friend on the phone. The things she said were not nice at all. The whooper is she thinks I am drug addict. I was very hurt and didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want any drama to hurt my roommate who is my friend.

I wanted to say something so bad. My mouth would have been crazy, I know because I was so mad. I know my best move it to leave. I don’t have any more words for the mom. I will be nice and say hello and goodbye. What hurts my feelings is I bent over backwards to be nice to this woman. If I could figure out what I did to her to make her dislike me. I would try to fix it. I don’t think I did anything. I think should doesn’t really need a reason to dislike me. She would have done it regardless. You can’t win them all.

Now I am looking for an apartment. I can afford it yes. It will clearly be more than my present living situation. I will have peace and can work on getting pregnant with no stress.

I am going to Promove tomorrow to get his list of suggested apartments. So Saturday and Sunday with my GPS and I will be looking at apartments. I hate change and this will be a big change once again. I know I need a short-term lease. I was thinking six months with the option for month to month later. If I am ready to get up and move to Boston, I want nothing holding me back.

I am thinking, I am not going to be to cheap with my living situation. I want to stay in the area. I also want a nice safe and comfortable place to live.

I hope I get pregnant quickly!!! Five more days until my consultation.

Blessing 1!!

Fire Burning

This blessing I was told later in life. When I could appreciate the ramification of what happened.

My father is a recovering alcoholic. He did not get into AA until I was about six years old. I was told the alcohol is what broke up my parents marriage. My father was a functioning alcoholic. The kind that kept a job and paid the bills. So after my parents split my mom would drop me off at my dads.

I was about four or five and my mom dropped me off to my dads. He would send me to the refrigerator to get him beers. He said I was excited like I was doing something special. Well on this particular day he passed out from all the drinking.

The house we were in caught on fire. Not our apartment but an apartment in this house. If you know anything about the houses in MA you can have three apartments in one house. In any case one of the apartments caught on fire. One of my fathers neighbors in this house knew we were in the apartment. The firemen got us out of a burning building. When they entered my father was passed out.

My mom came the next day and saw this house burned up. She told my father he would never see me again until he got himself together.

My life was spared that day. Blessing #1

No my father has over 30 years in AA. Thank god I am very proud of him!!