I had her birthday party today. It went great actually. It only cost 130.00 bucks. For the place. I got six pizza’s two salads and four servings of french fries. This place didn’t do family style. So I bought some tins to put the food in. The plumber gave me 100 bucks for the party. I did not ask. I actually tried to give it back. Then I said WTF am I giving it back. I took it. So pretty much he paid for the party. Because I put down 50 dollar deposit.
She had a Chica cake.
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If you don’t have kids, it is a little chicken on the sprout network that she loves. Ava went to everyone with no crying. I was so shocked. My mother couldn’t believe it either. This child cries when anyone tries to hold her. She was in love with Grandad. I am about to line him up as a babysitter. At least to get my toes done and other random errands.
Dad also put 100 bucks in a card. I was thinking damn, I can’t remember when I got 100 bucks. I guess grandchildren are always different. Life is good. Things I need to work on. I am patting myself on my back for getting through year one. I can’t believe I started from newborn to now. It flew by like a whirlwind. With so many transitions and drama it is crazy. I can’t believe I moved here driving from GA. We did it in one day with a two month old. Moved back to the city I hate. With my mom, can’t believe that. Blizzard of 2015, new job and etc.
I made it in one piece. Thank you Jesus!!! No my baby!! My baby is now a toddler.
When I created this blog and my YouTube channel it was for so many different reasons. My blog was so I could write and keep my juices flowing writing. I would love to be a writer but what I learned about myself is I am the biggest procrastinator. Then I used this blog to bitch about my life. Also tell the success and everything good and bad. I love all the comments and the people who support me.
I started a YouTube channel to talk about random things in Atlanta. Also my natural hair. I was actually intrigued with YouTube and wanted to be a part.
Once I started on the baby journey I started to share that on YouTube. I also have random video’s about my life. I don’t know why I didn’t want to merge them and let you guys know about it. Some of you guys have found me on YouTube. Not sure if you know I am the same person.
Today is a new day. I have a YOUTUBE, Twitter, Blog and instagram. I am going to continue to write in this blog. Check me out on YouTube if you like. I have gotten a lot of praise for putting the message out about being a single mother by choice on YouTube. I know when I went to YouTube when I started my journey there were on Lesbians discussing IUI’s Or couples with fertility issues. I am trying to spread the message. The reason is I never thought I would do this. I only considered it because my neighbor was doing it. Which has been the best blessing of my life. All random and I have my beautiful baby. A baby I would have been tortured not to have. Waiting on a man. Which is what I was doing.
I wish I thought of this before I began because some of my video’s I look horrible. In my pajamas and such. I am going to attach my first SMC video and my other links. I have about 25-30 videos on being a Single mother by choice. I love you guys for being there for me so I am going to share a little more with my other venues. Wow I haven’t watched my first video in so long. I am so far removed from that place I was in then. Life has turned around three times. Documenting your life can be a trip.
I am actually living my dreams. I wanted to move home. I wanted a baby and now I have a job. I will be starting on Monday. It is blowing my mind that I have been out of work for almost nine months. I am in debt for sure, but I made it and haven’t messed up my credit. Of course the day I start will be a snow storm. I am going to try and find me some thermal socks and better gloves tomorrow. I decided that I am taking the bus and train to work. The monthly pass is expensive. I still feel it would be cheaper then gas and wear and tear on a old car.
If you read my blog you know I am pretty goal orientated. I am fitting into my smaller clothes and loving it. I have to lose 20 more pounds to get into the rest of my clothes. I am on my way.
My next goal is to get out of debt. This mission to have a baby has did a number on my debt to income ratio. I am sick of owing people. Living with my mother gives me a financial boost to start to pick away the debt.
I am going to start this job with a budget. First order of business is get my savings to healthy amount. My savings have been depleted in a big way. Then I am going to work on my debt while also saving. Once I am totally out of debt I am buying myself a new car.
On another note, I told the plumber I am not interested in dating him. I am getting a few red flags from him. He seems very controlling. I do not do controlling he would really see the ugly side of me. I don’t like being told what to do. He tried to play stupid when I told him how I felt. He can play that mess all he wants too. I know what I said and I meant it. I am moving on. I have a few things on my plate. I am open to meet a guy and have some sex in my life. Yes it is getting dusty down there. I have no idea where I would fit that guy in. I don’t have the free time I use to have. I am sure I will figure it out.
I had to wake up this morning to go to my weight loss meetings. I officially start tomorrow. I am excited and nervous. No more crappy food. I am not looking forward to eating right. I do use food as comfort. I am looking forward to a sexy small body.
I realized today, my child is antisocial. She cries when I give her to someone else. Which makes me feel so special. Then on the flip side makes me feel like I will never have a social life ever. We went to visit family today and every time they picket her up the tears came on.
Even my mother can’t get her to stop. I am really going to pray she grows out of that quick.
I received a letter in the mail. Stating how much I will get from unemployment. I thought that meant I was approved. No such luck. They only gave me 15 weeks which I didn’t totally understand. I have worked there for six years. I thought I would get more weeks than that. Since I didn’t think I was going to get it at all. I wasn’t going to complain about that. I called them today, when I was in the office applying I gave them the wrong routing number to my checking account. I had my account number and called my aunt for the routing number she had because I didn’t have any checks on me. I didn’t want to wait for money in the mail. Something made me check and it was wrong. The same bank with a bunch of different routing numbers.
I thought I messed up my first check. No such luck. She said they haven’t approved me yet. I am thinking WTF. They will be making a decision on my case on August 1st. Which is Friday. I don’t see a reason it will be denied. I am grateful that I can receive the benefits. My aunt said why rush back to work. First I don’t know how long it will take me to get a job. I would rather not deplete my savings. I am not going to wait until the last-minute to look for a job. I agreed to wait until sometime in September. So they can do the renovations on the house. Then I am ready to get my life started. Making real money so I can do the things I want to do. Also save for a vacation. I haven’t been on a vacation in so long I barely know what the word means. I am going to enjoy my next two months off. But after that it is a mission to find the job for me.
I am presently 236 pounds. I am hoping with exercise and managing my food I can get that close to 200 pounds. I am going through Ava room as fast as I can with all my crap. My mother has been very reasonable about where I want to put things and set them up. Also when I get a job I am going to do things for my mom. She doesn’t know it yet, but she will have a higher quality of living. I am going to buy her all the things she can’t afford on a fixed income.
My first order of business is to be debt free. If I get a decent enough job I can hopefully put 1000 a month on my debt. Which will have me on the road to freedom sooner than later. I am so pissed that my feet got bigger. When I get the unemployment checks coming, I am going to buy a big screen for the living room. A dresser and guilder for Ava room. My father is buying the crib. Also I need a new bed frame. Mine is taking up to much of the room, making it hard to get around it. Once I know money is coming in I will feel less restricted. Things are really going my way. I need to stay positive.
I also have a man interested in me. We met online three years ago, when I thought I was moving home. He thought I was a big fat liar since I didn’t make it until now. He didn’t skip a beat once I admitted I had a baby. Maybe he will be the father of my second. LOL!!! He has two kids himself. Keeping hope alive!!
I started testing for my surge today. I believe from my calculations I should get the happy face tomorrow or Thursday. I am supposed to inseminate for the next three days.
I have to say my donor has the worst communication skills ever. I could never ever date this man. He does show up in the end. I guess that is all I can ask for.
I started working on what I put in my mouth and exercise. It has been going pretty well. Except for the coffee.
I keep running into this woman. I met her at a meetup that a friend invited me to. She clearly lives near me. I ran into her four times. Yesterday walking around the park was the latest. I guess I been stand offish. I need to work on that. She asked if we could walk together. I have no problem with that. I told her this week was bad. Clearly insemination all week, and he lives 45min away. Next week when I get back from Philly should be great.
Hey I might be creating a new friend. That is usually how people enter my life, Randomly. Since she lives close maybe we can find some places to hang out in the area. I need to get my ass out the house!!!
I was trying to make it to Sunday morning. My crazy person held up until Saturday evening. Still not first morning pee, but I had to test. I was at Walmart at 9pm buying more test.
Well the line was darker on Saturday night. Then I tested again at 5am Sunday morning. I didn’t mean to get up that early. My bladder forced me to. The line was even darker. I had to be very creative for the camera to show the second line. I am happy and nervous. This is what happened last time. I got the double line then it went away. Well I will be testing probably every other day for a while. Looking for that second line to get as dark at the test line. My friend said my known donor must have some super sperm. I am scared as hell!!! God is it possible?? Are you giving me all I desire??