Baby Project #38

Jerry springer logos


Nothing to report. I am still waiting to test. I am going to take my first test tomorrow morning. It will be two weeks from the happy face. I need to know if I am truly having symptom. Or is my mind play tricks on me.


A co-worker told me I should put some make up on and go to the sports bar. I told him I don’t drink or like sports. Why everyone feels I need a man??


If you follow my blog you will remember the past co-worker, I was talking to in a dating manner. We actually never went anywhere. We talked on the phone for a week before the shit hit the fan.


Another co-worker (a very trashy one) said that she was dating this guy. I don’t know if I believed they were dating. I did believe there was something going on. I confronted this guy, stating my life cannot be an episode of Jerry Springer. He was very cavalier about it and then did not speak to me for two years. I was pissed and ignored his ass also. He did apologize for his actions in so many word (TWO YEARS LATER). Swearing he didn’t date her.


He no longer works at my job. The reason for this story. His friend informed me that he didn’t date the girl. She just serviced him in the work parking lot and he dismissed her. Wow such an asshole. I am glad I dodged that bullet.


God spared me from that foolishness. I also think using a her as his personal hook up and then getting rid of her makes him a jerk. The girl clearly had issues and really like him. He just used her. I feel sorry for her because men can be so cruel!!. They know when a woman has low self-esteem. They use their weakness against them and throw them out with the trash. What goes around comes around. I am sure he will get it back ten fold!!


Another Day!


Doctor dude AKA fake boyfriend sent me a text that he was sick all weekend. A friend asked if I believed him. I guess it is in a womans nature to cast doubt. I have no reason not believe him. Even if I didn’t believe him what would it matter?

He did call last night. I missed the call. My cell phone was upstairs charging. No biggie!!

I guess my post yesterday has brought a lot of conversation on the desperate topic.

A faithful reader which happens to be a good friend sent me an email regarding my post. I swear she understands me. Then I talked to a different friend and she brought it up and I know she doesn’t read my blog.

The point being if we were desperate we would not be alone. There is always someone who wants you, that you don’t want. For various reason I have kicked people out of my life.

The ex Fiance that tried to give me bible homework. Then got mad when I didn’t do it. The man abusive in his tone when he was mad. The man who only wanted to see me when he felt like it. The man who couldn’t pay his bills. Yeah I could have had any of them. If I was willing to take the pile of shit that came with them.

Some women are willing to take the shit to have a man. I am not!! To all my sister who feel the same way Amen to you.

I have an ex friend. Why is she ex? This woman had more drama than any soap opera. I was sick of talking to her. I am convinced she created these dramas in her life.

 I remember in High School this girl would come to school with a daily drama. Another girl said something I will never forget. No ones life is that damn interesting. Either she is lying or creating the drama.

I would agree this ex friend was creating this drama in her life. The last and final straw was when she finally got out of an abusive relationship. I do not mean just verbal. He was about to kick her ass. It was getting more and more violent. 

She finally had her own place seem to be doing well. With in 30 days she had a new man living with her. I thought to myself that was quick as hell. To know this woman it was not odd. She could not be without a man. Her whole validation was who was laying in her bed at night.

I am talking to her one day and she said she couldn’t pay her light bill. I am thinking damn this bill must be real high. It was two hundred bucks. My next comment which I should have kept to myself was why doesn’t your boyfriend help you. By this point he has been living there three months.

Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut? He doesn’t have a job she says!! WTF!!

Seriously here we go again. I said nothing after that. Then she started to defend herself. I told her if you like it I love it. I didn’t care to be in the conversation of her dramas to have a man. When she realized I wasn’t arguing with her she started to get nasty with me.

Basically the jest was I was pathetic because I didn’t have a man. That was the last and final straw. I went off right at this point. I let her know that I will love myself more than any man will ever love me. The pathetic one is you who can’t live with out someone. You get rid of trash to let more trash in. I am not your therapist and you are not my dependent. I can not put your ass on my taxes. I am sick of hearing this bullshit. I wish you the best and this friendship is over.

When she heard that I could hear the shock in her voice. I have been there with her B.S. since college. It had been over 10 years of me listening and walking her through her self-created dramas. I haven’t talked to her in two plus years.  I don’t care to talk to her again. She is not missed.

I don’t need a man. I desire a man. If he is not an asset in my life he is a liability. I will never ever take care of a grown ass man!! Or lower myself in any way to have a man in my life.