Ava will be three soon. I am running around to find services through my health insurance. Which might be totally covered by my state. Pray for me on that one. It would help greatly financially if Ava is approved.
I talked to our possible speech therapist. We are on the waiting list for the time that works with our schedule. They said we didn’t have to come for the evaluation if I sent in the IEP. There is an email system through my clinic that makes it easy to communicate with the doctors. Will the universe must have been on my side.
The speech therapist called me because she incorrectly sent me a note through the email system. I took that opportunity to ask how much success she has had with autistic children talking.
She said to come to that canceled appointment so we can talk. She can’t tell me what to do without meeting Ava. Then she asked me if her present speech therapist given me homework. I said excuse me what?? She said we will discuss it during the appointment. She has several techniques to work on with Ava daily. I was so excited. I am ready for things I can do to help my baby talk. I am ready for her to talk my ear off.
I wish I knew about these techniques before. I was beating myself up for a few minutes that I should have found an outside speech therapist before now. Then I came back to reality. When the hell would I have fit that in. She has a packed schedule of therapists. Mommy guilt is real!!!!
Ava does not have a variety of food that she eats. Not to mention I am not cook of the year. It is so frustrating that she will put random things in her mouth. When I offer her something different from her limited menu she acts like I am trying to kill her. She gives me the stank bitch face. If she could talk I feel she would be saying bitch you can’t be serious. I am not eating that.
I push it in her mouth to give it a try. I am not going to feed her something she really doesn’t want. If she never tastes it she won’t know if she likes it.
Now we are at the point if it is something she likes she will feed herself. If it’s something not on her list of likes, I have to feed it to her. So a few days ago, I got her to eat salmon and mash potatoes. I covered the salmon in the potatoes to achieve this success. She had me chasing her around the house with the food. Surprisingly she opened her mouth. Not how I wanted it to go, but shit I will take that.
I decided she will eat the school food. I want to see if they can get her to eat other things. I will send snacks that she likes if she totally refuses. I know most 2 years old are picky eaters. I also know this has a lot to do with autism.
They say there is a lot of adjustment being an autism mom. I can’t say I really have to adjust, being that she is my only child and the diagnoses have been with us for over a year.
I still have high hopes for my baby. No one is telling me she won’t succeed. The general answer is I DON’T KNOW. Which is an answer I hate? Tell me she is going to be perfect. Lie to me!!!
OK, I really don’t want to be lied to. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind a lie or two. 🙂
I have been in contact with my educational advocate. He had me write up my expectation for Ava IEP. I let him look at it first. He gave me a few corrections. Then I emailed it to everyone involved.
It was a very good suggestion. They will know what I want and can argue about it in the meeting. If they disagree.
I am hoping it all goes smoothly. I have to finish paying him for his services. Which so far seems very worth it. I had a lot going on at work today. I really need to make some calls and handle some business at lunch.
I have been so tired I took a nap in my car. I enjoy the naps until I have to get up and go back to work.
Ava has been going to bed late and waiting up early as hell. I wish I could finally feel like I am rested. I am always in a state of tired. Which is not helping me accomplish my other projects. God help me get enough sleep.
My child is finally sleeping through the night. The problem is she doesn’t go to sleep until 10-11pm. I have so many things I need to do. I keep putting her ass back in the bed. She laughs her ass off like we are playing the biggest game. I know she likes it when I am home. I really feel she stays up to spend time with me.
Which I love, but in the same breath, I have so many things going at once. I need a few night time hours to get things done.
My book it getting closer and closer to done. I will announce it on this blog if anyone in interested in reading it. It is a sci-fi novel on autism.
I am my own worst critic, I keep reading it over and over again and finding things wrong with it.
I have enlisted my friend to edit it. I am going to read it one more time and send it over for her to edit. Then I am going to get the rest together.
My Youtube channel is growing slowly. I am excited by the growth, but it has not turned into passive income.
I didn’t really start the Youtube channel to make money. I do enjoy making the video. I also noticed I wasn’t really putting in the time or effort to make it successful either.
With the limited time in my life, I can only devote so much. I still haven’t read the books the advocate told me to read for this IEP. I am going to get to it. I really don’t feel like reading the bullshit. I just want Boston Public Schools not to screw me and give my child everything she deserves.
Which I know is going to be hard which is why I hired the advocate in the first place.
Also, my mom lets Ava sleep for two hours a day. So I am sure when she start pre-school and has that 45 min nap she will be tired when she gets home. That will help me so much. At the moment she is a ball of energy when I walk in the door.
Ok, now that Ava will be three very soon, no more early intervention. I have to take her to all these test. I already didn’t like the tone of the woman when I initially had to sign the papers.
I got the impression there were trying to screw my kid out of services. She was nice nasty. She wasn’t mean or nice. Everyone wants to sell me on two pull out speech therapy. I want more than that. My kid does not talk. I want more then two sessions.
I already am looking into outside speech for her. Which I will have to drive and it will cost a co-pay and parking. Things could always be worse, I keep thinking to myself.
I have an advocate for my IEP. I need someone there who knows the laws. I don’t want to be screwed because I was ignorant to what they should give my baby. All this shit is hard. Hard to know if you are doing the right or wrong thing. I don’t want to make any mistakes. There is no real way to know if I am making the right decision!!!
The saying God won’t give you more than you can handle. I do feel he has a sense of humor. Life is not how expected at all. I mean all of it. Life has surely been stranger than fiction.
My life has been blessed in a lot of ways. I know I say it a lot on this blog. I need to remind myself of a regular basis. I was talking to the Ava speech therapist. Her cousin son has just been diagnosed. She had to tell her mother he doesn’t have cancer. Yes that is how some people come at you. Like your kid is dying.
I have had a lot of heart to hearts with a lot of parents of autistic kids. We all have different stories and similar stories.
I thought I would be married. On my third child by now. I remember when my ex 20 years ago asked if I wanted to have a baby with him. In my opinion he just wanted to have sex with no condom.
Looking back, I should have did it. Hind-site is 20/20. If I would have went down that road. Many great women would have never entered my life.
There is no do overs for life. I enjoyed my life. I am still living every moment of it. Taking every challenge with head held high. Praying to god for the strength to get through. So far so good.
Well I went public. My blog is not inline with my YouTube channel. To be honest folks, I write a lot of these in advance. Then schedule them out to keep them going. It is all my life just not in real time. Sometimes!!! Unless I had a hard day and just needed to write.
This works for me to keep my blog alive weekly. Instead of letting it go for months with the lack of time in my life.
So Ava is autistic. I few of you guys figured it out. I am not embarrassed or ashamed. That is not the reason I didn’t answer anyone’s questions. I was going through a lot. Had to get a lot in place for my child. Had to work on her, and all her needs.
I had no idea what the word meant. I have cousin with autism. I really thought it was just hard to socialize and make friends. OMG it means a whole lot more than that. My closest friends and family has really been my comfort. When I was sitting in the doctors face. She approved my child for 25 hours a week of services. She said if there is no progress we will be having a different conversation the next time.
Well it has been a year. A lot of progress has been made in some areas. Not in all, but which can bother me at times. The therapist love to say we need to meet them where they are at. I met a mom and I have to steel what she said. I need to meet her where she needs to go not where she is at.
Early intervention think I am super mom. I feel I fall short from that title in many ways. I work a full time job. I have an hours worth of commute each way. I do go out my way to email them. Set goals I want to see happen. Sit down and talk to them when I can.
Tonight I wrote a proposal try and get parents evening and weekend training classes. I have not taken early childhood, speech or ABA classes. I need help in those areas so I can help my child.
I have already picked out her preschool. Please pray we get in. I have had a one on one with the assistant principal. I have things I want to work on implementing and goals I want her to reach. My baby is my pries possession. She will be doing testing for preschool hopefully this month. To start immediately when she turns 3 and the services end. Which in Massachusetts is 3.
Ok I know some will go into vaccines. I met a woman that delayed the vaccines and her daughter still got it. I did beat myself up for not doing a delayed schedule. Or some kind of way this is my fault. I had to let that go. None of that talk will help my daughter.
She will have challenges and I will be there to help her through everyone . …
I got Ava to pee on the potty five times. I don’t think she totally gets it. Since we are working the nonverbal at the moment. She looks at me crazy when I dance around because she has peed.
I was putting her on every 15 minutes at first. Then I moved to every half an hour. I think 15 minutes is better. I missed her peeing twice. Her therapist told me to wait until she is 3. Then we got a knew therapist who told me not to under estimate her. Which I feel she is right.
The hard part is my consistency. We will be working on it again this up coming weekend. I have several days off. Pray for me!!! LOL
She isn’t feeling the big Red guy at all. I got the picture at Walmart. The Santa was sitting there. I asked could we take a picture he said sure. I added the rest to the picture. I didn’t have to sit in a two hour line to get the same awful crying picture. Win, win!!!
I have all the gifts wrapped. Waiting for two presents in the mail. The guy I am dating which we will call Dave from now on. Dave and I drove to three stores last Wednesday to find the play kitchen. After all that traveling with no luck. I ended up ordering it online. I swear you can’t find anything in the stores any more. I also ordered my mother a toaster oven. Since she doesn’t read my blog the secret is safe. They should both be here by the 19th.
I finally found a topper for the tree. I am happy with are Charlie Brown tree. I know I am dating myself with that reference. All the people around my age knows what I mean.
I didn’t do anything last year. She was so small. I doubt she has any understanding now. She did walk over and touch the presents like what is that.
I have a new doctor which I really like. I left that clinic I was at and went somewhere totally different. The woman took her time and was very patient with my concerns. I have to schedule a hearing test and I will be having a delay specialist consultation. All in all a productive visit. Just on a side note. When we are in the car and the music is playing, I swear she is singing with the song. Not totally sure, but it sure seems like it.
I was talking to another single mother by choice friend. We were discussing our children challenges. There is nothing that could happen that would make me not want to be her mother. I love this little girl so much. More then myself. I cried and begged god to bring me her. Now my Christmas are special again. My life is revitalized because she is a part of it. I am her mom and it the most important job of my life!!!!!!!