Ava has door to door medical transportation to her program. It has not been going smoothly. I made sure to put in the prescription that she requires a female monitor. Which does not consistently happen. The company is run by Russians. They are friendly men that drive the van or car. Ava doesn’t seem distressed or pissed off. Which I have to go off her mannerisms because there is no verbal communication.
I have complained once due to them being late two days in a row. They have been on time as of late. I don’t want to piss off people that have my child or a regular basis. I am giving them some time to get it together. I want my baby safe. I don’t want her to be taken advantage of because of age and lack of language.
I have joined an Autism group. They have had several Trampoline events. Which the venue opens two hours early for the children to not have to deal with crowds. It is a great event. This is our third time at the same place. The first time was a friends son’s birthday party.
I didn’t have it in me today to jump with her. I was thinking I am too old for this shit. I wasn’t athletic when I was a child. I would describe myself and fat and lazy. Ava wants me to bounce with her. She didn’t have such a great time. There were some smiles so I will call it a success. It is so hard to figure out what a child likes when they don’t talk.
I found myself trying together to stop laying down and licking things. #mommyproblems
When Ava is not feeling well, I feel horrible. Especially, since she cannot tell me what is wrong. So she has had diarrhea for two days. Which has created a crazy diaper rash? I swear I saw a little blood. All this scared me. I ran to Urgent Care. I was twenty minutes too late. So calling in sick to take my baby to the doctors. I can’t sleep on anything my baby needs.
I put it out to my Facebook group. Someone suggested I apply for FLMA. I think I am going to take advantage of that. I never want my being out for my daughter counting against me.
Clearly, she is uncomfortable. Whipping her is painful. I looked it up on WebMD. Why the hell did I do that? It said she might have an infection. My mother had a death trap car and doesn’t take Ava out by herself. So I have no other options to take her to the doctors. I am a solo mission in many ways. I wish I had a sister. I always wanted a good sibling.
I am still thinking of another baby. Granted the desire seems to fade every day. Especially with the challenges with Ava. God can do anything. I guess I need to pray more.