It’s Official!!

I am not pregnant. The casual evening did not turn into an offspring.

My first round of disappointment.  I am not really upset. I think I would have been totally surprised if it had happened. The fact that I got my period early, I am not even sure I was ovulating at that time.

A friend asked me if I was going to try again with the ex. The answer is no. We tried that last year and with his job obligations it was to damn much to get him local when I needed him to be.

I have a lot of fear about this next step. I am about to commit a lot of resources for something that is not guaranteed to work.  I am going to through North West Cryo bank. There sperm is more reasonable them the other banks.  My clinic wants to do one sample two days apart. Which I agree with. I heard it has a better chance of success.

I started taking the DHEA today. I only had the 50 mg ones. I need to hit Walgreen’s today, and find the 25mg.  I was told to take 25mg three times a day. I don’t want to take any extra of this stuff. The side effects for me sucks.

My financial insecurities are kicking up again. I talked to the ex today. He felt bad it didn’t work. I think he would have been scared if it did. Then he tells me he believes his health insurance pays for fertility. I was thinking thanks for the insight. How in the hell does that help me!!!

Work has been going well. No complaints which is a great thing.

I am back on my scratch ticket kick. My friends think I am crazy. You never know what can happen. My chances are as good as anyone else.   Here is to winning some money!!!! Keeping hope alive!!!!!