Death Bothering me!!

When I went to the wake of a young mother. I consider 47 young. I can’t get her out of my mind. A friend since the third grade. We will call her Jessica. I met her when I was eight and she was nine. We weren’t always very close. We have gotten very close in our old age. I talk to her a few times a week.

We are both dealing with autistic children. She is very easy going and I love that about her personality. Knowing this her brother was always there. He is two years older and we all went to the same school.

Her brother and his friend had jokes for my weight issues. Which use to drive me crazy. The main asshole which was her brother friend died many years ago of a drug overdose. When I heard that I thought damn no one knows what is going to happen in life.

So I see Jessica brother and his family at Jessica children birthday parties. I just saw his wife a few months back. She wasn’t’ looking good at all. He told me she was dying. How do you deal with that information??

When she died I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I couldn’t get him and his child out of my mind. I remember having a crush on him and another friends brother. Neither ever looked at me twice.

My friend said she would mind being her sister-in-law. I thought was so sweet. My life doesn’t fit together that easily. Her brother has a lot of healing going on. How he is going to deal with life as a single father. I pray for him and his new journey. My heart is heavy for his loss. I gave him a long strong hug when I was at the wake. She looked good in the casket. Not the sick woman I saw a few months ago. I pray she is in a painless place of peace. Watching over her son from above. She left him way to early.

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Death is Hard

It happens in three. I am not looking forward to hearing who the next person will be. My mother close friend of 40 years has died. He would do anything for my mom. He had a very difficult life. Alcohol and drugs. His wife finally puts him out and it went downhill from there. He had a lot of medical problems. He really didn’t have a home and was jumping place to place.

He died on a bus. He had a heart attack. I feel sorry for him and my mom for losing a very good friend. Shortly after I hear about his death. My good friend’s sister-in-law died. She was young in her 40’s. Leaving behind a young child. Her husband my close friend’s brother has been through a lot with his wife illness. This didn’t just happen she has been going through it for several years now. He is such a good guy. That is a guy I want dammit. The one who will be there for all the bullshit life throws at you.

We all went to High School together. He is a few years older. I did have a little crush on him back in the day. I see him at my friend’s events for her kids. I just saw his wife at the last birthday party event. She was in rough shape and I spoke as usual not drawing attention to what was clearly obvious.

Nothing is promised. Even our lives. I need to appreciate all my blessing. I have a lot of them that sometimes I feel I don’t keep in the front of my mind. My daughter needs me. I need to thank God every day I am here for her.

That woman son needed her. Now she for whatever twist of fate will not be there for him. #AppreciateLIFE!!!