Five pounds down!!

I am praying this is not a fluke. I am nervous to claim the results. It has been less then a week. I have been doing the Low Carb, High Fat diet. Five pound weight loss.

This way of life goes against every diet book I have taken and read. Also the program I was in for a lot of years. I bought a new scale and will be doing updates once a week. I was also going to make video’s about it on my YouTube channel. Which I would have done today. If my child didn’t wake up at 4am. I have been off all day. It is 11pm and I have several things I need to accomplish.

Of course we played the power ball. How can you resist 300+ million dollars. I tried to fantasize with my mother about what we would do with the winnings. Of course she says win the money first. Does she not understand the fun part of playing. The fantasy part is my thing. Of course I do feel a big win is in my future. Do I need 300 million dollars. NO!! Would I turn it away if I won it. Hell no!! I would give a good amount away.

So we will see tomorrow what state won. Or does it rollover to the next time. Ava acted a fool in the mall today. Cried from the moment we got there to the moment we left. I felt she was tired, with us being off schedule. I had to go to Stride Rite to get her foot measured. I realized she had been wearing those shoes for a long time. They were not as easy to get on as they use to be. So of course she needs new ones. I ordered them. She will have them sometime next week. It wasn’t an emergency being she doesn’t really the house much during the week.

Today was a good day. Not much going on, and I am thankful for no snow. If you were in Boston last year during the blizzard you would totally understand that statement.

Feeling some type of way.

I emailed  my ex. When I get lonely I start looking  up the ghost  of Christmas passed. My baby is sleeping  right next to me.  I am typing  this on my tablet because  turning on a computer  right now just seems like to much trouble. 
He is married. Which annoyed  me.  In a way I am glad he is happy.  On another hand I want a husband.  Not him,  since all we did was fight and he never  seemed to get himself  together. He was sent tall and the sex was great.  That isn’t  the recipe  for long term. He was the biggest  asshole.  We tried to date twice and both times ended badly.  I actually  deleted his number, I emailed him. I also tried  to look up another  ex with no luck.  I guess  that is for the best.  I am feeling blue.  The plumber still likes me but he has a lot going  on. Which  I don’t think I want to be involved  in.
God has answered  my prayers  in  a lot of ways.  I am 208. L
osing 30 pounds has put a big smile  on my face. 43 more pounds  and I will be a cutie pie.  At least  I will be feeling like the old me. Confident  especially with my body. Granted I don’t  have a hard body but I feel  so much better when I am not carrying  a bunch of excess weight.
The plumber might be my next known donor.
On a good note I won on another  scratch ticket. I haven’t  scratch  how much.  I wanted  to fantasy for a while  it was the top prize. I am enjoying  the fantasy then scratching it and finding  out it’s a free ticket.

My weekend!

I scratched my winning ticket. No bells and whistles this time. I did win 50 bucks. I have no complaints. I reinvested and will be putting my new lottery tickets on my night stand for later.

My weekend was uneventful. Boyfriend was out-of-town as usual. When I talked to him, he said his traveling should be winding down soon. Music to my ears. I said finally we can spend sometime. Personally I think he is sick of working every weekend.

I met a new friend this weekend. I actually met her before but we talked for three hours this weekend. It was such a great conversation. We kept saying we were so shocked we are so much alike. You can never tell someones story by looking at them. She is also going to work on having children. Even if it is by herself. I told her I have all the information she will need.

She was thrilled and couldn’t wait to get home to get the information I emailed her. It is nice to find another woman who feels as I do. It is a sisterhood. She assumed I was a lot younger than her. I must have a baby face. I have looked at this face for 36 years. I have been mistaken for being in my twenties. Once for being a teenager. When I smoked I was always carded. I would tell the clerk I know I look over 18. There were times I thought I looked older than it should. I have never thought it looked younger.

 When we were talking and I told her I wanted a baby. She said I wouldn’t understand her desire because she was older than I was.  I was wondering how old she thought I was. Or better yet how old was she? I thought we were around the same age. I said I am 36 how old are you?  She screamed “we are the same age.”

A lot of people consider 36 young. I have been told you got time. Stop worrying about it. In  baby making years 36 is not young at all. How do I know? All these damn seminars I have been to have told me so. Now granted I could plop out a baby or two with no problem. Which is my plan!!. 36 is still not young in baby making years.

I have a friend that is concerned about me. God love her!! I understand why she is concerned. She feels I am not happy in this relationship. I would have to say I am not bubbling over thrilled. I am not in hell either. I am in rocky point. I explained to her the fairytale relationship never came. Now I am in the reality relationship. Do I love this man. I think I have always loved him.  Am I deliriously happy with the situation as it is. Hell no! Who wants someone who is never around? Do I have the right to complain? Not really. He told me this up front. I had a choice to accept it or not. I made the choice to accept it. I do have the right to change my mind in the future.

I am taking it day by day. I cannot predict the future. If I could I would not have waited around this long for Mr. Right to show up. Yeah I was one of those if I just be patient women. Not to say I wanted just anyone. I still will not accept just anyone.

I would have had my children by now. That is exactly what I would have done if I had the crystal ball. I wouldn’t have believed anyone if they told me at 25-34 that I would not be married or have children at 36.  So here is where I am. Firmly in reality. I cannot visit anyone in fantasy or fairy tales anymore. I no longer believe when anyone tells me it will happen be patient. FUCK PATIENTS!!!